TGIF! It’s already July? Oh right, it’s over 90° here in P.N.W. Thank god for portable ACs. Lots of footy action to get to, so let’s get this over with.

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s throw a party! Even better, let’s be that douchebag DJ!

• Get yourself a mixer.
• So that mixer has two decks. That means you’ll need at least two records with great tracks.
• Spin the first record. Choose a song that has a strong intro. Then move the crossfader all the way to the left. Note that the left deck is called channel 1 while the right deck is called channel 2. This will be relevant later.
• Drop the needle on the record to start playing that banging song you chose.
• The nice feature of a mixer is a headphone plug. This will allow you to hear either channel before it plays on the speakers. So, have one of those and plug it in now.
• Now let’s get that second song cued up by placing the record on the right deck. Use the cue input to get it ready. Keep one ear of your headphones on so you can hear the cued up song while still being able to hear what’s playing through the speakers. Make some douchy hand motions as warranted.
• Here’s the secret to crossfading. Start counting in time with the beats from the track on channel 1. Play the cued track from channel 2 in your headphones and using your hand speed up or slow down the record so that the beats match.
• Then begin the crossfade to the new track. Don’t be too fast here, and don’t be too slow. While fading, take off the headphones and listen to the speakers. Ideally, you’ll want to fade in right before a break or drop out. At that point you can readjust the track to its normal speed. Also, do some more douchy hand motions.
• As always, keep an eye on the crowd to ensure they’re dancing or jumping or grooving. If not, you suck and should pick better songs.

While these tips won’t make you a professional DJ, you’ll at least amuse some people and with the proper tracks you may just entertain them. Best of luck!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!