![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Yes, second verse, same as the first. I have nothing to say, so have at it.
Will I try harder next week? MAYBE!
Mad Silence of the July Mind – Week Dos
Subscribe
Please login to comment
106 Comments
the real project 2025
it would be the funniest continuous self-owns that would last forever
even our 250th birthday will be remembered for being hosted by that asshole
my griddle now refuses to ignite (only fired it successfully once outdoors…ironically the day trump got shot) so i had to grill the chicken on the boring stove on a pan in the kitchen. my inner hank hill is forever sad.
no biggie, tho:
- house now smells like chicken
- the griddle was a freebie gift
i suggest not get the blackstone griddle model 1971
Noted.
Here’s Glen explaining that you can still get a My Yard Reaction even if you slow braise at 250 degrees for 6 hours. Canadians are so stupid! Milkshakes? Nowhere to be found. I’m thinking of unsubscribing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unZDKkE-idY&ab_channel=GlenAndFriendsCooking
Oooohhh, Maillard reaction! Voice to text?
“Mallard reduction? I’d suggest a Pinot Noir.’
-yeah right
I was just gonna say…
I CALL THIS CANUCK BB TEAM SPINAL TAP BECAUSE THEY’VE TURNED IT UP TO 11.
Finally starting Season Dos of Welcome to Wrexham, because I procrastinate even with teevee. And my hatred of the coverage outweighs my mild-at-best interest in Olympicing.
Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
We watched the last hour of the opening ceremony on mute.
There should be an option to watch every event with no commentary.
Kelly fucking Clarkson you assholes?
All jokes aside, the end of the day JD Vance just rubs a lot of people the wrong way, like rough couch upholstery against bare skin.
The Corduroy Couch of VP candidates, if you will.
one guy where spending the night on the touch isnt a punishment
Friction burns on his dick. That would explain a lot.
NBA needs to adopt the FIBA rule that allows touching the ball over the cylinder. If memory serves it was put into place because Wilt was so ridiculously dominant way back when but the game/players caught up more than a few decades ago.
Holy Naismith! Canada might actually be really good at the basketballing!
I CALL THIS CANUCK BASKETBALL TEAM AN OPTIMISTIC HARRIS POLL BECAUSE THEY’RE UP TEN POINTS.
/apparently I’ll be doing this all game long
Put some chocolate chips in there and I’ll slit the throat of your worst frenemy from high school. That’s an internet promise.
Um.. Whoops?
No, it’s more fun if it just comes out of nowhere.
This is me running with it.
Me: “You put chocolate chips in my basketball!”
Also Me: “You put basketball in my chocolate chips!”
Narrator: “Chocolate chips and basketball-two good things that taste great together!”
This is me running with it.
“ELISHA NELSON MANNING YOU PUT THOSE SCISSORS DOWN RIGHT NOW!”
(and make mommy another martini)
I didn’t have any, but I did put some walnuts in. I’m assuming you were talking about my banana bread!
Quite frankly, I’m tired of your sexual innuendos!.
/jk, keep them, uh, coming…
I’m making banana bread. It smells so good in here, yumyumyum!
Baking things make the best smells. Hopefully you’ve got some aromatics like clove and cinnamon going too.
My kitchen is smelling like an Indian spice market right now.
It’s awesome.
I put some pumpkin pie spice in. I mashed up some cinnamon and sugar with the butter I spread on the warm bread, with a splash of hot honey. Sooo good!
Matildas kicking some butt in swimming
Ariarne Titmus isn’t just a fun name to say
At least we got their number in the men’s 4×100.
There is a Serena Grande movie on. I think I will change the Olympic fencing for that. She rarely disappoints.
Does she have huge…tracts of land?
Judging from the picture, she appears to have ample acreage.
She’s invested wisely then. Bravo!
Certamente
Between womens water polo and this basketball game haven’t seen Greece get so cooked hard… err since the fires they seem to be having every year now.
I CALL THE GREEK BASKETBALL TEAM MY TODDLER AFTER THROWING A TANTRUM BECAUSE THEY NEED A TIMEOUT.
Scott Hanson on the peacock Gold Zone coverage is a nice warmup for the season.
So about Dressage, here’s a link to the various tests used at the international level: https://inside.fei.org/fei/your-role/organisers/dressage/tests#
Right now I believe it is the Dressage phase of the Eventing competition that is happening and they use different tests because they need to go out tomorrow and tear around a ton of really intimidating jumps and other obstacles on an outdoor course.
The tests have little notes about what the judges are looking for that probably still aren’t super helpful for someone outside the sport, but should give some idea of the types of things they’re trying to do.
Dressage is easily the most interesting equestrian sport to actually do, but by far the most boring to watch. Definitely try to catch the cross-country up next in Eventing as that’s the most exciting!
/in DM’s
Me: “You ask her.”
Hippo: “I’m not going to ask her. You ask her.”
Me: “FINE!”
“Uh, Zymm, a question. When is the evening dress portion of the competition?”
Canada up 8-4. I look forward to the inevitable 100-50 Canadian victory.
Fucking yardwork. I hate it. It’s beer time now and swim time a bit later. But first some Canuckian basketball.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I finished [chore].
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (RET): Great! Now you’ll be able to do [other chore that’s not urgent even in the slightest] this afternoon!
I’m sitting while son is getting his haircut.
Of all four conversations I can here, I can predict the next four minutes of each of them exactly.
Much like when JD Vance is left alone in a green room with a chaise lounge, some things are just inevitable.
Flava Flav sponsoring the women’s water polo team and being a super dude is just the best.
Does he wear a waterproof clock now?
It’s a Timex, so he’s good.
Current Olympics status:
TV 1 – handball
TV 2 – surfing
Cell – rugby
Mrs. Cola is an ex Uni rugby player so we are leaving for the movie at the very last minute after this.
She’s cool. We say hi.
Sorry we’re all high and super boring in real life.
“IRL’
We just bought our flights for next year. Book the sitter Blax!!!
Blax is in no way boring, and his wife is quite funny and a lovely individual.
THESE GUYS THE SOUTH AFRICAN SEVENS RUGBY TEAM I CALL THEM JD VANCE LEFT ALONE IN THE LIVING ROOM WITHOUT ANY LATEX GLOVES BECAUSE THERE WAS GREAT POTENTIAL FOR THEM TO GET BURNED.
That was a great match
To round out a fully wonderful week of vacation (we go home Monday) I seem to have contracted COVID or something that feels as heinous. Thanks to my lovely wife, we are at least in Residence Inn so we have a suite because it is my jail/home for the next couple of days. FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK. And the couch is ugly and cold.
I’m so sorry to hear. Keep us posted on your health.
I feel for you!
– JD Vance
This is just superb work right here.
Order in an IV!!!
Rooting for New Zealand. Even a tie will make me happy
Why do you hate America?
The support we give to The Tramp and The Couch Fucker?
We also would have accepted that USMNT futbol is a car crash. Gregggg didn’t even use drones for an edge smdh.
THIS GUY THE REVANCHIST I CALL HIM AARON HERNANDEZ WITH A BEDSHEET BECAUSE AFTER A PRETTY SORTED LIFE THIS GUY WILL BE SATISFIED WITH A GOOD TIE JOB
I wish I could get my life sorted.
I don’t edit.
Amateurs edit.
OK, I just really do wish I could get my life sorted.
I need to watch TNT Shempions action apparently, because of Jonathan Pearce and the hope he’ll wrongly describe armour as armament.
https://youtu.be/RfaJEwVZiks?si=UM4XFEl3Izh-gKSS
I do love watching Olympic events (Dressage) where I have no idea what’s going on or how the scoring works.
The horse jumps thru the uprights it’s three points just like football. smh…
But no double doinks. Bummer.
Unless it’s a ROUGE!
The question of the day: is Dok watching Olympic Dressage?
She kind of has to, she’s on the judging panel.
A little irregular for a judge to have a button with a trap door that can send a contestant to a lava-filled pit, mind you.
Scalsi wrote a book (“Starter Villain” I think) where the super villains are the heads of the corporate conglomerations or private equity fund managers. Every year they have a meeting where DudeBros come and pitch their ideas. They like it, you get funding till they kill you and take over the company. They don’t like it you get launched by a spring pad out into Lake Geneva (of course the meeting is in Switzerland) to possibly drown or “land wrong”.
I always maintain that speed doesn’t kill. It’s the sudden stop.
The Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart description during the last Olympics was fucking pricelss.
Shit weather day, looks like we are going to Despicable me 4.
Edibles engage.
Wherein Litre takes one edible after begrudgingly going to Dispicable Me 4 (Artistic Interpretation)
It’s 11 am here. I am contemplating doing work in the garage with a couple Guiness before we go.
There is no grudging, I want to see this one!
So far we are 60%/20%/20% with Decilitres movies.
Good – Migration, Super Mario Bros, Minions movie
Mid – Garfield
Bad – Paw Patrol
Last edited 1 year ago by litre_cola
It’s….
A contrived ending and then however much pain beforehand.
Is that about the movie or a wedding?
Trump Tells Crowd They ‘Won’t Have To Vote’ Again After Election In Bizarre Remarks (msn.com)
American Hillter in Florida (no, the other one!) just said the quiet part out loud.
NYT Pitchbot: Democrats Oppose Trump’s Plan to Save Tax Dollars and End Divisive Campaigns
I just love leaving the TV on all day when the Olympics are on.
Takes my mind off of my usual hobby.
“Same here!” – JD Vance
I thought we were not allowed to post porn on this site!
What are you talking about? The cushions are in place, the accent pillows are still on and the tea cups are on the ottoman. That is clearly SFW!
To the Saturday morning folks. We have 1 spot remaining in Ligue deux Fantasy Football next year. You will join 27 other DFOers in the chaos.
Who knows you could end up with a Big Turk, Kraft dinner, and shitty vodka if you drink, in the mail!
Last edited 1 year ago by litre_cola
Hell, if you need some content, I have some beaming, positive news to share with you guys. I was offered the teaching position at the High School here in Woodstock and start in a week! It looks like the Economics & Personal Finance elective just became the responsibility of the history department this year, so as the new guy I’ll be “taking one for the team” and teaching three units of this course and one of 11th grade U.S. history.
I want you all to know that I could not have gotten to this point in my life without you, and I mean that most sincerely. I have always silently looked up to you as mentors. While it’s true I started out in awe of your rapid-fire comedic skills in the Deadspin comment section, over the years I’ve observed you all giving each other sensible financial advice, home-buying strategies, and most importantly, career-and-interview advice. Plenty of that has stuck in my head throughout this process, and I can’t thank you enough for what you shared with me.
You have also provided me with the only place in my world where the pace of my output or frequency of my appearances are not questioned or criticized. The collected experience, intelligence, wit, and wisdom here is so powerful it remains an honor to be allowed to even lurk amongst you. My brain literally filters information through the opinion spectrum on DFO in order to formulate my opinions, like it used to do with The Daily Show & Colbert Report back in their heydays, so What You Folks Think matters a great deal to me.
And shit, you guys sat with me through rehab, man. That’s for real. And the way you’ve supported my sobriety has been life-changing, or character-changing at least. I can’t ever give up on the human race again as long as there are people like the crew on this website who can gather in relative anonymity and radiate such kindness and empathy to a guy like me. Thanks again for all your support up to this point, and I promise I won’t let you guys down on this job!
Hell of a bounceback mate. Well fucking done!!!
THis song makes me happy, and am very happy for you!
Congratulations. Hard fought and well deserved. That made my day. 30 years sober, I know you are in for much more fulfillment my internet friend.
Congrats! Well deserved!
Congratulations!!
That’s great news. We love you brother Fronk.
Go forth and excel!
I am so happy you have been able to take back your life and decide your own future (or what ever your wife tells you to do).
Fuck ya, congrats Fronk
Perhaps Mike Brown can pitch in with a guest lecture on reusing ziploc bags…
(we loves ya, Fronk)
here in Woodstock.
That’s groovy, dude.
You owe me.
Not anyone else. They’re too humble. I’m proud of them.
Congrats! Teaching Econ should actually be tons of fun at that level
This is the sort of wholesome content I love to see 🙂
My darlingest dear, I am so very proud of you! I knew you were going to get this job, and I know you will be an awesome teacher. Those kids will love you like we do! Personal finance is a desperately needed class, I wish they had something like that when I was in high school. You rock, my Fronkish boy, never doubt it! Now the big question…what are you going to coach, lol!
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.