Evening all, the pre-season is over and the team cuts will be coming today. I really feel sorry for the guys on the bubble, the waiting for that call or for the call to not come, must be beyond nerve wracking. I would be stoned as hell and looking at my phone, of course the THC would probably get me kicked out of the league. Whelp,you only have to endure 1 more posts of my ramblings till MNF starts back up on 9/9. I am looking forward to kicking back, getting ripped, and watching another horrible MNF game since the first game will be the Fail Jets vs. the Niners. I hope SF can end the Jets suffering quickly, mainly by humiliating AAron with lots of interceptions and then having him fall over his own feet, tearing the other Achilles tendon, all while trying to lead a come back drive at the end of the game which ends in an interception. Sigh, one can hope with thoughts and prayers.
So I thought I would share this memory with you as I was reminded of an incident from my past. So, when I was driving back from PT, sitting at the stop light next to me there was one of the old model VW bugs, painted in a rather bright orange. Seeing that car reminded me of watching a screaming, hysterical woman driving a VW bug, careening through a plowed field, actively trying to run over two high school boys as they tried to evade her. Now, the two boys were brothers who had been bullying me and my friends for months along our walk home from middle school. Although there were 4 of us, we were in middle school and the boys attended (when not suspended) the local high school, so the size difference was significant, plus they were quite a bit stronger, and complete and total assholes.
Now, one day, after school, walking home was the same as usual and including the usual bullying, except this time one of our number was down on the ground with some off brand sneakers pressing down on his neck. The decision between the four of us was to no longer “pay the toll” to walk home. We had had enough and were finally going to stand up for ourselves, which was was going quite badly for us, when the downed kids mom (Mary) drove up. Mary came around the curve and saw her baby boy down on the ground and a big redneck holding him down by keeping his foot on his neck (with all of us getting ready to fight). Mary rolled her window down and started shrilly screaming obscenities as loud as she could. The rather startled bullies started running into a nearby plowed field; however, she just followed, driving right through the roadside ditch and into the field, she probably chased them for 2 to 3 minutes but it felt like forever as the 4 of us just stood and watched mouth agape at this skinny orange headed lady, about 5’1″ and 95lbs, screaming obscenities in her shrill voice, driving a bright orange VW Bug through a plowed field bouncing up and down, and trying to hit these 2 suddenly scared shitless high schoolers. Oh, the flying hubcaps, those shine curved discs of chromed metal, sailing like frisbees at the beach. She was finally getting the hang of driving under such conditions when they were finally able to escape. She calmly drove through the field, through the roadside ditch, back onto the road and came back over to check on us, and grabbed Greg (her son). From my understanding she sent her husband to find the hubcaps.
The bullies never bothered us again.
About 10 years ago my father told me that he had had a conversation with the bullies about that day, and my father stated that the guy started swearing and cursing for a bit, after which he told my dad that he was afraid for days afterwards that she was going to hunt them down and hurt them, and orange VW bugs still easily startled him.
Sports – who cares there are no NFL games, but soon, soon. I am currently watching a documentary about the role playing games from World of Darkness, particularly Vampyre: the Masquerade, free on youtube, pretty cool and there are some freaky freaky people out there.
That’s a wonderful story!
I’m curious what caused your father to speak with the bullies….
He was a magistrate and the bully was before him for public disturbance (drunk and disorderly). My dad was the type to chat.
I genuinely can’t recall what the last non-animated movie-film I’ve seen at the movies, so Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is going to have to become the answer.
Did someone take John McEnroe in the “announcers who need to shut up” draft? Because if not, then I’m claiming him as an undrafted free agent.
Oh, the Dr. Mrs. would definitely follow that up with Chris Evert. She hates her.
How can anyone hate Chrissie? This is just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.
I hope her vacuums malfunction!
Please don’t; that just means more work for me.
blaxabbath, after catching his first wave (artist’s conception):
Dress like this and nobody bugs you.
Great story!
Greg’s Mom is a true Mom of the hood. Was her name Sharon by chance? That sounds totally Sharon to me.
I had a thing inhearited from my Dad that I did with bullying shits. I would just close in and stare at them with my mean face. Not a word just stare at them. Works every time.
The Bug vs. The Bullies tale reminded me of this fun scene. The Texas version, I suppose..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdrCG9sATu8
Cute lil bunner! Is he in bunny jail for some reason?
She is trying to get to a restricted area as she thinks baseboards are snacks.
Sounds like she’s a political prisoner.
She did kick a giant mouse in the butt.
Silly rabbit! Baseboards are for… (what ARE baseboards for, really?)
To catch dirt and dust, and make you look like a slovenly slattern!
Slovenly Slatterns would be a pretty good FF team name.
Say what you will about the CGI blood spatter but John Woo can still direct the fuck out of action scenes.
Back to back hockey games tonight. Not only did I lose both of them, but I can already tell tomorrow is gonna suck.
&ct=g
I feel like dying and all I did was eat a rotisserie chicken.
Feel like dying? Unsurprised did a bad bad thing…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRxxh3CzJXk
(the funny thing is that this song was actually playing when I read the above comment)
Yes–
Get those snowflakes this first aid kit in their office.
I don’t blame them, the number of shootings at work is not 0.
Here’s what I’ll say about surfing.
It’s all I live for.
Yeah, it’s pretty great.
You are the Big Kahuna!
Duke WCS somehow calls the slide at the park the Big Kahuna. This is absolutely true.
How old is His Highness now?
22 months… at what point do we just say “almost two”?
Two months ago.
I was going to recommend “eleven months ago” but then I realized that’s precisely what my old man would do.
Damn it…
No jury in the world …
I feel like the story in tonight’s post could be made into a fun horror/comedy film about a suburban mom who starts murdering bullies. Working title “Orange Slice”.
(the title somehow connects to an incident that’s related to the mom providing orange slices for the halftime of a kids’ soccer league game, and also how her VW bug kind of looks like an orange slice)
The Murderous Milf
Fields of Fire, Fields of Blood
The Redneck’s Racing Revenge
BTW, Serial Mom is hilarious
I want to dig up Adolf Dassler’s nazi corpse and shove these fucking shoes up his corpse’s fucking ass
In here. ftfy.
I search Amazon for Roomba and I get a second brand — roborock — that is their competitor now?
I think we have a resident vacuum expert…
Yeah, we’ve got a Roomba downstairs and a Eufy upstairs. The Roomba very rarely makes it back to its base before running out of battery, while the Eufy doesn’t have that issue but it *does* get stuck in many places. I know nothing about the Roborock brand but given my experience with these other two I’d probably give it a shot, because why the hell not?
Because it might score poorly on the “Rate My Bots” series.
Not a competitor. Just a cheap Chinese knockoff. You can’t trust anything on Amazon or anywhere else online.
Thought about doing a series on here called “Rate my Bong!”
Probably be better received than Balls’ poorly-timed “Rate My Dong” attempt at the RNC.
Well, gee. I would save something like that for Sexy Frid—. Oh, “Bong”! Sorry, poor eyesight.
I would be interested to hear REAL TALK / HOT TAEKS on smoking devices.
Juice jug, fill with 3/4 water, two litre (nice) btl with bottom cut out, remove cap, aluminum foil for a bowl. Get really high with science!
They are so much fancier now, I was stunned. Bubblers, tasters, mini-bongs, and ash catchers which act like bongs for your bongs. It is wild man.
I think it was Louis C.K. a decade plus ago who was like “I didn’t realize they’d been working on [pot] like it was the cure for cancer” about how much stronger it is now.
Yeah, the shit now is A LOT stronger than when I was in college.
Tastier, too. Amazing how they have strains that smell and taste like fruit and how they’ve bred them for all the different terpenes.
Still smells skunks as shit when smoked.
Or focus on porn stars and call it Rate my Dong
“They call wieners, ‘dongs’ on that funny website mom doesn’t like me going to!”
-Eli Manning, probably
“Peyton would call it walking the elephant around the house.”
– Eli M.
Every kid should have a mom like Mary!
“Yeah. Immaculate my ass.”
-Joseph
“But the Mary Magdalene, she can party!”
Poor Joseph, he did all the work and never got to have any fun.
She was a fire cracker.
These next few days until the fitbaw returns:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMyCa35_mOg
I think we all agreed last year that the week between the pre-season ending and the regular season starting is somehow even worse than the off-season.
Canadian Sportscenter showed the odds of which hockey player will score the most goals so that they could feature a pic of Austin Matthews for 45 seconds. JFC…
Any word on the playoff hopes of one Toronto Maple Leafs team?
I am almost a fully converted NHL fan, my sons got me into it late last season and I was amazed at how much those players made NFL players look like pussies.
I have never seen a fat active roster player.
.