More Thrills! More Games! Your Late Slate Open Thread

I’m sure this was some error by the sked makers that was somehow overlooked by the powers that be but it’s too late and now we have choices. We can never go back! [looks at Week 7’s late slate of three games] I guess we’re going back eventually.

To The Games!

Panthers/Raiders:

Ok, let’s get the stinker out of the way. So, how long before Minshew gets injured? He’s being asked to throw the ball and has responded by averaging 266 yards over the first two tilts but he’s also been thrown to the ground nine times as well. Rook tight end Bowers is all he promised to be early days-he leads everyone at his position in catches, targets and yards.

Fins/Seahawks:

It’s Skylar Time! The last time we saw him he was way back in 2022, playing in a Wild Card game vs the Bills and going 18 for 45. It might be safe to downgrade Tyreek and Jaylen a little bit. It’s early but it looks like Geno has regained his surprising form from two years prior. He threw for 300+ last week but if you’ve got a modicum of talent how can you go wrong slinging to the trio of D.K, Tyler and Jackson?

Ravens/Cowboys:

Baltimore is 0-2 but leads the league in total offense. One of those things just doesn’t belong and I can’t see the Ravens going 0-3. So that means that Dallas is going to lose at home and there will a decided lack of celebratory “YEE HAWS!” and I’m here for it. I think it’ll be a very close game however.

Niners/Rams:

An important early divisional matchup with no Puca, Kupp, Deebo or Christian and maybe Kittle. This screams “Big Game” for Aiyuk and Mason. The Rams passing offense now goes through Demarcus Robinson and Colby Parkinson. What? That’s a long way down.

Lions/Cards:

Yet another interesting and probably high-scoring tilt. Thank you, four pm EST window! That’s just not something that gets written very often, if at all. Goff leads all qb’s in pass attempts so far with 83 and Jameson Williams is reaping. He’s one of only three wr’s with 200+ yards in this low-scoring start to the season. It took all of two games for Harrison Jr to bust out. 130 yards in one quarter? That’ll do.

Enjoy.

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Unsurprised

Something about rescuing Dalton from Cincinnati

Redshirt

…and guess who he plays next week?

Unsurprised

Cincinnati is so fucked

NotShogunButShogun

So many ice cream sammiches in the locker room for the cowfolk

Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

Even in slo-mo I didn’t see a hold on the Dallas player, and if he was holding it certainly didn’t seem to be slowing the Baltimore player down one bit.

Fucking team can’t even commit penalties right.

Doktor Zymm

Lol offsetting

Unsurprised

Did Brady just pronounce it “Dox?”

Unsurprised

Fuck. “Doc”

clint greasewood

Dex?

Horatio Cornblower

Pass interference so obvious the ref’s throwing a hat at it.

Spur

I hate this fucking team, I really do. Spurs games cant start soon enough.

Unsurprised

Oh shit. I didn’t realize the time. Fuck fucking fuck

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think Dallas is going to be very good this year.

Unsurprised

Evergreen

fleshwound_NPG

9 wins will win the divsion, tho

Unsurprised

Don’t encourage them

fleshwound_NPG

vikings destroying them in january will be even better than the packers doing it last year

Horatio Cornblower

Winning the division is just a cock-tease; they’d bomb out in the first round regardless.

Doktor Zymm

Eagles got the best shot at going over.500

fleshwound_NPG

“lemme fix that.”

-nick sirianni

Doktor Zymm

Fun!

LemonJello

Whatever protective charm or spell San Fran was using for their players has clearly run out of magic.

Redshirt

Thanks Kamala!

Unsurprised

Like zero percent money and Silicon Valley.

Spur

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Unsurprised

WTC QA team

Doktor Zymm

Geez, so much dedding

Redshirt

Holy shit, Good Andy!

rockingdog

Lions Hook & Ladder play Sun God to Gibbs TD!

That was ROCKINGGGG!!!

fleshwound_NPG

hook and lateral

all these years, nobody can define the “ladder” part

Doktor Zymm

Oh shit, Trent is ded? Bye bye Niners

Unsurprised

You love to see Arizona eat shit, especially from teams like the Lions.

I wanted to go see Pirate Sloth for the HOX game but I’m running errands like a stupid adult

King Hippo

That’ll do, Sky. That’ll do.

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit Cardinals, that’s some bad luck

Mr. Ayo

BLEERGH giveth, BLEERGH taketh.

Doktor Zymm

SO SAFE IN DALLAS?

fleshwound_NPG

rules analyst: this should be a safety

refs: NAWT

NotShogunButShogun

I saw nothing!
~Magoo, Mr.

ArmedandHammered

I see Nothing! Nothing! – Sgt. Schultz Stalag 17

NotShogunButShogun

That was my immediate follow-up!

Spur
Doktor Zymm

It IS the Raiders though

blaxabbath

Just a new QB bump….

ballsofsteelandfury

Update: Pasadena liquor stores have a woefully inadequate malt liquor selection. Check that, they have a woefully inadequate selection of 40s.

I actually found 16 and 24 oz versions of Olde E…

NotShogunButShogun

Has Steel Reserve made an appearance?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I have found 16 oz cans!

NotShogunButShogun

I await your pain

Doktor Zymm

Dissapointing!

Spur

of course Dallas fumbles.

Doktor Zymm

LOL DALLAS REPRISE

NotShogunButShogun

I’m all in favor of the cowpersons winning.
I really want to watch Stephen A do a Nice Shot Man live

Doktor Zymm

Kickers reverting to the mean

Redshirt

Well, this is what I get for rooting for the Cowboys, I guess.

Spur

you did this!

Redshirt

My team playing on Monday. Gotta curse somebody.

rockingdog

This one is pretty good too
Birds got lucky earlier today
Lmao

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Spur

Zimmerman needs to let the guys know its ok to tackle the opposing players

Wakezilla

Hot take alert: Since the NFL doesn’t care about the Dolphins, to show the public that they care, they forced Miami to put Tua on the IR.

Tua has already been cleared to play football by doctors and travelled with the team to Seattle

rockingdog

How accurate is this from earlier today??
Lmao

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Doktor Zymm

LOL DALLAS

JustStopDude

Fire the coaches and players. Sell and move the team. Demolish the stadium and salt the earth.

My vision moving forward.

Wakezilla

If you’re talking about the Dolphins, I agree

Unsurprised

Long time no see.

I assume this is universal.

rockingdog

Harrison Jr TD was Rocking!!!!
Also that Metcalf TD was Rocking too!!! 🏈

Wakezilla

Fins/Hawks started almost an hour ago. How are we just finishing the first quarter? terrible!

Wakezilla

Truther down. Miami’s defense can play like the 85 Bears, but if they get no rest, they’ll fall apart

Last edited 1 month ago by Wakezilla
NotShogunButShogun

“Baltimore doesn’t want to be last in anything.”
Teenage pregnancy approves

Doktor Zymm

I recently added a cashmere robe to my extensive robe collection. Worth it!

King Hippo

robes and hammock products, you livin’ right!

Doktor Zymm

It’s a simple yet effective formula!

King Hippo

LOLfins really ought give 8-chan like 40 carries today

rockingdog

That would kinda be rocking

Wakezilla

I’m trying to figure out why they aren’t running with the Wildcat for the next 4 games

rockingdog

Yoooo
Rammmmit vs 9ers!

Kinda feeling like this is gonna be an upset…

Doktor Zymm

I’m not even sure who’s favored with so many out

NotShogunButShogun

How do you screw up a kickoff?
*remembers the coach*
Hai Bluebunny!

King Hippo

To borrow from an oft-repeated Wolven Sort saying – We could screw up free ice cream

Mr. Ayo

I can help for a modest consulting fee

— M. Trestman

rockingdog

Found a funny:

“My truck is arrowproof! My truck is bulletproof” I shout out the vehicle’s window as autopilot drives me down a busy street at 60 mph. The AI mistakes a plastic bag blowing in the wind for a boulder and swerves off a bridge

King Hippo

God, this made me SO HAPPY to envision!!

Gumbygirl

Elon was driving!

King Hippo

Ever just wake up in an inexplicably, shitty mood? And it lasts all day? Apologies in advance for the morning column.

Doktor Zymm

Even with Donkswoo? That’s a bummer. Hope some combo of shame pizza, pills, and napping will help!

King Hippo

Yep, because I had us in Loser Pool! I knew better, too. MRSA is not to be trusted.

Doktor Zymm

It was a lot of difficult games to pick this week, Browns took out a chunk of people too

yeah right

I’m in a good mood but feel like hammered shit
Brought a cold back from vacation. Quite enjoyable result from the early window too.

Nice to watch a comfortable victory.

clint greasewood

Dolphins pissing in Mercury Morris last champagne.

BugEyedBoo

Erin Andrews is rocking serious MILF energy.

Redshirt

Oh, goodie. I get Tom Brady.

Doktor Zymm

Ratbirds/Cowpokers is gonna be ugly. Hopefully good ugly, but after the amount of unexpected so far today who knows?

Congrats to the Giants on letting themselves be out Brownsed!

Redshirt

The Broncos Locker Room is inside a void of white nothingness? Makes sense.

fleshwound_NPG

a masterclass in shitty coaching/time management in chi/ind

bears coach wasting all those timeouts, now one left
colts not returning the kickoff with 2:01 left, giving the bears a freebie timeout

Doktor Zymm

Meets expectations

Wakezilla

Nice to see Deshawn put a HAND on Geno Smith there.

Wakezilla

I am ready to reach for the Skylar, baby!

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHl_DaeMDpI

Push to make this the Tomlin theme song.

ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone on Defense should get a $100K bonus.

Gumbygirl

They had over 300 yards on offense!

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