I’m sure this was some error by the sked makers that was somehow overlooked by the powers that be but it’s too late and now we have choices. We can never go back! [looks at Week 7’s late slate of three games] I guess we’re going back eventually.
To The Games!
Panthers/Raiders:
Ok, let’s get the stinker out of the way. So, how long before Minshew gets injured? He’s being asked to throw the ball and has responded by averaging 266 yards over the first two tilts but he’s also been thrown to the ground nine times as well. Rook tight end Bowers is all he promised to be early days-he leads everyone at his position in catches, targets and yards.
Fins/Seahawks:
It’s Skylar Time! The last time we saw him he was way back in 2022, playing in a Wild Card game vs the Bills and going 18 for 45. It might be safe to downgrade Tyreek and Jaylen a little bit. It’s early but it looks like Geno has regained his surprising form from two years prior. He threw for 300+ last week but if you’ve got a modicum of talent how can you go wrong slinging to the trio of D.K, Tyler and Jackson?
Ravens/Cowboys:
Baltimore is 0-2 but leads the league in total offense. One of those things just doesn’t belong and I can’t see the Ravens going 0-3. So that means that Dallas is going to lose at home and there will a decided lack of celebratory “YEE HAWS!” and I’m here for it. I think it’ll be a very close game however.
Niners/Rams:
An important early divisional matchup with no Puca, Kupp, Deebo or Christian and maybe Kittle. This screams “Big Game” for Aiyuk and Mason. The Rams passing offense now goes through Demarcus Robinson and Colby Parkinson. What? That’s a long way down.
Lions/Cards:
Yet another interesting and probably high-scoring tilt. Thank you, four pm EST window! That’s just not something that gets written very often, if at all. Goff leads all qb’s in pass attempts so far with 83 and Jameson Williams is reaping. He’s one of only three wr’s with 200+ yards in this low-scoring start to the season. It took all of two games for Harrison Jr to bust out. 130 yards in one quarter? That’ll do.
Enjoy.
Something about rescuing Dalton from Cincinnati
…and guess who he plays next week?
Cincinnati is so fucked
So many ice cream sammiches in the locker room for the cowfolk
Even in slo-mo I didn’t see a hold on the Dallas player, and if he was holding it certainly didn’t seem to be slowing the Baltimore player down one bit.
Fucking team can’t even commit penalties right.
Lol offsetting
Did Brady just pronounce it “Dox?”
Fuck. “Doc”
Dex?
Pass interference so obvious the ref’s throwing a hat at it.
I hate this fucking team, I really do. Spurs games cant start soon enough.
Oh shit. I didn’t realize the time. Fuck fucking fuck
I don’t think Dallas is going to be very good this year.
Evergreen
9 wins will win the divsion, tho
Don’t encourage them
vikings destroying them in january will be even better than the packers doing it last year
Winning the division is just a cock-tease; they’d bomb out in the first round regardless.
Eagles got the best shot at going over.500
“lemme fix that.”
-nick sirianni
Fun!
Whatever protective charm or spell San Fran was using for their players has clearly run out of magic.
Thanks Kamala!
Like zero percent money and Silicon Valley.
WTC QA team
Geez, so much dedding
Holy shit, Good Andy!
Lions Hook & Ladder play Sun God to Gibbs TD!
That was ROCKINGGGG!!!
hook and lateral
all these years, nobody can define the “ladder” part
Oh shit, Trent is ded? Bye bye Niners
You love to see Arizona eat shit, especially from teams like the Lions.
I wanted to go see Pirate Sloth for the HOX game but I’m running errands like a stupid adult
That’ll do, Sky. That’ll do.
Holy shit Cardinals, that’s some bad luck
BLEERGH giveth, BLEERGH taketh.
SO SAFE IN DALLAS?
rules analyst: this should be a safety
refs: NAWT
I saw nothing!
~Magoo, Mr.
I see Nothing! Nothing! – Sgt. Schultz Stalag 17
That was my immediate follow-up!
https://x.com/UrinatingTree/status/1837948308482150729
It IS the Raiders though
Just a new QB bump….
Update: Pasadena liquor stores have a woefully inadequate malt liquor selection. Check that, they have a woefully inadequate selection of 40s.
I actually found 16 and 24 oz versions of Olde E…
Has Steel Reserve made an appearance?
Yes, I have found 16 oz cans!
I await your pain
Dissapointing!
of course Dallas fumbles.
LOL DALLAS REPRISE
I’m all in favor of the cowpersons winning.
I really want to watch Stephen A do a Nice Shot Man live
Kickers reverting to the mean
Well, this is what I get for rooting for the Cowboys, I guess.
you did this!
My team playing on Monday. Gotta curse somebody.
This one is pretty good too
Birds got lucky earlier today
Lmao
Zimmerman needs to let the guys know its ok to tackle the opposing players
Hot take alert: Since the NFL doesn’t care about the Dolphins, to show the public that they care, they forced Miami to put Tua on the IR.
Tua has already been cleared to play football by doctors and travelled with the team to Seattle
How accurate is this from earlier today??
Lmao
LOL DALLAS
Fire the coaches and players. Sell and move the team. Demolish the stadium and salt the earth.
My vision moving forward.
If you’re talking about the Dolphins, I agree
Long time no see.
I assume this is universal.
Harrison Jr TD was Rocking!!!!
Also that Metcalf TD was Rocking too!!! 🏈
Fins/Hawks started almost an hour ago. How are we just finishing the first quarter? terrible!
Truther down. Miami’s defense can play like the 85 Bears, but if they get no rest, they’ll fall apart
“Baltimore doesn’t want to be last in anything.”
Teenage pregnancy approves
I recently added a cashmere robe to my extensive robe collection. Worth it!
robes and hammock products, you livin’ right!
It’s a simple yet effective formula!
LOLfins really ought give 8-chan like 40 carries today
That would kinda be rocking
I’m trying to figure out why they aren’t running with the Wildcat for the next 4 games
Yoooo
Rammmmit vs 9ers!
Kinda feeling like this is gonna be an upset…
I’m not even sure who’s favored with so many out
How do you screw up a kickoff?
*remembers the coach*
Hai Bluebunny!
To borrow from an oft-repeated Wolven Sort saying – We could screw up free ice cream
I can help for a modest consulting fee
— M. Trestman
Found a funny:
“My truck is arrowproof! My truck is bulletproof” I shout out the vehicle’s window as autopilot drives me down a busy street at 60 mph. The AI mistakes a plastic bag blowing in the wind for a boulder and swerves off a bridge
God, this made me SO HAPPY to envision!!
Elon was driving!
Ever just wake up in an inexplicably, shitty mood? And it lasts all day? Apologies in advance for the morning column.
Even with Donkswoo? That’s a bummer. Hope some combo of shame pizza, pills, and napping will help!
Yep, because I had us in Loser Pool! I knew better, too. MRSA is not to be trusted.
It was a lot of difficult games to pick this week, Browns took out a chunk of people too
I’m in a good mood but feel like hammered shit
Brought a cold back from vacation. Quite enjoyable result from the early window too.
Nice to watch a comfortable victory.
Dolphins pissing in Mercury Morris last champagne.
Erin Andrews is rocking serious MILF energy.
Oh, goodie. I get Tom Brady.
Ratbirds/Cowpokers is gonna be ugly. Hopefully good ugly, but after the amount of unexpected so far today who knows?
Congrats to the Giants on letting themselves be out Brownsed!
The Broncos Locker Room is inside a void of white nothingness? Makes sense.
a masterclass in shitty coaching/time management in chi/ind
bears coach wasting all those timeouts, now one left
colts not returning the kickoff with 2:01 left, giving the bears a freebie timeout
Meets expectations
Nice to see Deshawn put a HAND on Geno Smith there.
I am ready to reach for the Skylar, baby!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHl_DaeMDpI
Push to make this the Tomlin theme song.
Everyone on Defense should get a $100K bonus.
They had over 300 yards on offense!