CLosing Out Septemeber 2024 Footy Cont’d

MOAR fixtures, and thank fuck a vast increase in quality.  Especially at the tippy-top…

Stanford (+21.5) at Son de Clem (7:00, ESPN)

Maybe one watches the first quarter of this game.  But probably not.

Georgia (-1) at Roll Damn Tide (7:30, ABC)

Coach DeBoer will absolutely love being a small home dog – they ain’t gots no RESPEK!! – except that it’s probably warranted.  Georgia are a machine, who already had their off week (earlier this month in Lexington).  But I’m expecting it to be a game into Q4, at least.

Illinois (+19.5) at Paedo State (7:30, NBC)

I think there’s some mild upset potential here, but it’s probably wishcastery.  Anyway, if you want to flip channels at commercial breaks of the real game.

Washington State (+6.5) at Boise State (10:00, FS1)

Tweaker Time on the Smurf Turf!  Wazzu is still unbreaten, but Boise and their shit-hot tailback pose a serious challenge to that record.  Fascinating watch.

Arizona (+9) at Team Secular Big Love (10:15, ESPN)

Will there be a letdown, following last week’s big road win in Stillwater?  If so, Bear Down FOAR Midterms has plenty of offensive power to pull the upset, or at least make one stay awake later than we’d like.  All in all, bumper crop of Tweaker fun this week.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Horatio Cornblower

What an unbelievably stupid pass by the Georgia QB.

WCS

JAWJA

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WCS

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nvm

Horatio Cornblower

Who the fuck was filming!?

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently a clothesline to the chest is not pass interference when Alabama does it.

Unsurprised

So I should have been watching the Bama game, I take it.

Redshirt

Cincinnati’s coaching strategy this quarter is next level stupid.

yeah right

Ladies and gentlemen.

I

Have a date.

November 2nd.

Not just a date.
A date with the woman that I could spend the rest of my life with.

Think I shared before about being engaged in a very long term arrangement.

Her youngest daughter is going off to college and this will be our first date in 14 years?

She always said that when her girls grew up and shit got less complicated we would reset.

That is this.

Holy shit!

I have a date!

WCS

Man spends two weeks in Europe, and becomes 1988 Johnny Depp. Go figure.
Congrats!

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Unsurprised

Congrats. You’re an inspiration. One day I may try this “date” thing.

blaxabbath

She hot?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As hot as a tailpipe that Mark Robinson was explicitly told NOT to touch.

yeah right

Extremely.

Way out of my league.

WCS

Seems to be a trend ’round here.

Unsurprised

!!

Horatio Cornblower

I thought of you today while in the bookstore looking for ‘Hapsburgs on the Rio Grande’

They didn’t have it, but it’s on order.

Horatio Cornblower

Gee, I wonder if he’ll cook for her.

Horatio Cornblower

Fast forward to DFO Offseason 2025: ‘Wow! ‘Sunday Gravy with Yeah Right’ turned into hardcore pornography so gradually I didn’t even notice!!”

yeah right

Now see that is the point.

I shared this photo with her fully knowing she LOVES filet mignon.

And here we are.

https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/07/14/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-filet-mignon-with-gorgonzola-cream-sauce/

Horatio Cornblower

This guy (will) get(s) it!!

Gumbygirl

You are living the dream, my darling dear!

2Pack

Enjoy Buddy

Doktor Zymm

Have a fantastic time!

blaxabbath

I prefer the blue pants but this is otherwise my favorite away kit for Arizona.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why do you even care about this game?” is what the Dr. Mrs. would be saying if she were here BUT SHE’S NOT!

herodotus450

Shades of John Tyler

Mr. Ayo

PLAID BANANACAKES!

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay we have officially reached Bananacakes Plaid status.

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh. My. God.

Gumbygirl

Bamanacakes!

Horatio Cornblower

I would very much like to see a reaction from the Saban booth, please and thank you.

Col. Duke LaCross

The Utes relying on Zach Wilson’s little brother to guide the team to victory.

Call me crazy, but I’m not overly optimistic.

Unsurprised

I’m being lazy as shit. Should I go see a movie? I just drove out to see a play and come back this afternoon, so I did one thing today. But just one.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF MOBILE BAY, BECAUSE A SUPPOSEDLY IMPREGNABLE ALABAMA DEFENSE IS CRUMBLING UNDER A STEADY ASSAULT.

Unsurprised

D’oeth!

Horatio Cornblower

So did Georgia just forget that the first half counts too?

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwCeC14uSv8

Would be the first time Jawja did that in an important game.

Brick Meathook

My pre-colonoscopy cocktail.

https://ibb.co/bd0sWtq

Mix, shake, & consume: it cleans the system all down the line.

herodotus450

Huge News: Brick is short for Brickland

Mr. Ayo

That’s what the Meathook is for.

Brick Meathook

The IVth

Gumbygirl

Olive or lemon twist?

yeah right

I hope it’s not pineapple flavored because that shit fucked up pineapple for me for a couple of years.

BugEyedBoo

The last time I had to drink that it was a disgusting lemony flavor.

ArmedandHammered

Grape was worse!

Doktor Zymm

If anyone ever says you’re full of shit you can prove you aren’t!

BugEyedBoo

Doesn’t say on the jug that you can’t mix it with vodka, does it?

yeah right

Vodka is clear.

I cosign this comment.

blaxabbath

“Don’t be a homo. Just risk it.”

-This has been a message of Robert F Kennedy’s FDA

Horatio Cornblower

UConn beat Buffalo, Buffalo beat NIU, NIU beat Notre Dame, ipso facto UConn is better at football than Notre Dame.

It’s just math.

Unsurprised

Anything to see ND get fucked over.

Gumbygirl

Ipso facto, motherfuckers!

WCS

According to TWWL, Air Force has the fourth-longest head coach at the Division I JV level at 17 seasons. That coach’s name? “Air Force Head Coach” according to the same graphic.

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Mr. Ayo

Wow, dream job for him!

Gumbygirl

He’s a Stealth coach.

ArmedandHammered

Is he related to Major Major Major?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh that was a fun play!

WCS

Craig James killed five hookers at FSU it seems, too.

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Redshirt

JV Cincy and Pair of TTs has been the football equivalent of 2 Girls 1 Cup.

This has been your update from ESPN2: The Deuce.

WCS

Logistically, getting from Stanford to Clemson and back will a lot of fun for their cross country and volleyball teams.

herodotus450

Supposedly they all are going to meet up in Dallas for those lower tier ogle worthy very valuable sports.

WCS

YYYYEEEEEHHHHHAAAAWWWWW

litre_cola

Just got home, I see Roll Tide is kicking the shit out of the Bulldogs. How the fuck did it happen?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Basically they scored the first three times they had the ball, and the Haitian Delights didn’t.

litre_cola

Thank you sir.

WCS

Jawja turned it over twice in their first two drives, Bama scored… it’s been that way since.

Redshirt

Alabama heard Springfield, OH was eating the dogs and they got jealous.

WCS

True tweaker fixtures over night at new-ish jorb?

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Redshirt

If OSU QB dies on Peacock, but no one see it, does he really die?

BugEyedBoo

Schoedinger’s Quarterback.

Mr. Ayo

SAFETY DANCE!

Redshirt

Offensive Pass Interference on BLEERGH!

Redshirt

Good heavens.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s another storm brewing too with a nonzero chance of following a similar path.

Sharkbait

Have they tried using a sharpie to change the next storm’s path?

Bogdanski

Nuke it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Redshirt

(draws spiral over Mar-A-Lago)

Unsurprised

Imagine how much worse God could have fucked up the South if Trump were president.

Alas.

blaxabbath

I like that Biden didn’t help them.

I’m gonna go vote Harris.

Redshirt

It still feels weird seeing Cincinnati leading Texas Tech.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t really care who wins this game (it’s not like a loss will affect either of their playoff chances) but I was hoping it would at least be fun to watch.

Gumbygirl

Roll Damn Tide eating those dogs like a Haitian immigrant

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Unsurprised

Back when a hot dog vendor could put his kids through college.

Redshirt

.

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Doktor Zymm

JD Vance gonna start reading the New York Post

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone actually produced a nightmare fuel image of that “couch with tits” that I was joking about last night.

Probably NSFW

ArmedandHammered

Of course it’s from Reddit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY MARK ROBINSON I CALL HIM MARION BERRY BECAUSE HE IS A BLACK POLITICIAN WHO TOUCHED A HOT PIPE.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/sep/28/north-carolina-mark-robinson-treated-burns

SonOfSpam

Didn’t even mention Oregon spanking the Bruins in the Rose Bowl starting at 11 Eastern.

Thanks.

ballsofsteelandfury

Do we really need to mention that the sun rises in the East?

Bogdanski

Classic Big 10 battle!