Your Early Morning London-Centric NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome friends to the Early Bird Special featuring…not bird teams. Let us know what you’re drinking and snacking on as you watch this mammoth tilt. (whatever, it’s more football and that can’t be bad) I’m having a hot chocolate/coffee thing that is heavily laden with Irish cream and of course some mini cukes!

To The Game!

Jets/Vikes:

-Rodgers will pass the 60,000 yard mark today with just 96 yards. He dealt with a swollen knee during the week but applied a poultice of virgin platypus gall bladder no doubt and now he’s ready to play. Do your homework, sheeple!

-Aaron Jones has rushed for 90+ yards in three of his four games and that total equals the entire Minny backfield’s output from last season. No wonder he was traded for.

-Darnold is scratching his 7 year itch-this is the only time he’s been 4-0 in his career and when you look where he’s been it makes all kinds of sense.

-Will JJ line up across from The Sauce? I guess if I did a wee bit of homework I could find out for sure but I think Gardiner only plays one side of the field. Addison is no slouch either so the former will be busy no matter what.

-Will the false start issue be addressed by game time? Or did Qaron just mumble, “It’s not my fault, it’s someone else’s like it always is.”

-Pay no mind to the qb’s involved but the Jets have held their last two opponents to under 75 passing yards.

-The Vikes have never lost in London.

Good Morning!

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Game Time Decision

Had my usual oatmeal with some fruit and juice and coffee
Got a run in too.
Haven’t turned on the TV yet, maybe after a few chores

blaxabbath

See?!

This is how it be!

King Hippo

Ruined that earlier Oasis moment with that “Sweet Caroline” monkeyshit

2Pack

I hate it when they do that.

Mr. Ayo

Oh, that BUM BUM BUM wasn’t a Qaron cheer?

King Hippo

J-E-S-T strategery seems to be “they won’t call DPI on every single throw to JJ” as the zebras call DPI on every single throw to JJ.

King Hippo

Extra Time would be mighty annoying.

Redshirt

What about Most

Redshirt

…Glorious Draw?

King Hippo

that would be like a backdoor cover of sorts

Doktor Zymm

Red Zone start takes precedence

King Hippo

I’m assuming Scott Muthafuckin’ Hanson will still cut to it as is warranted.

Don T

Amén.

King Hippo

Hey guys? JESUS still gets US!!!

Spur

am more worried about his followers

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, they’ll get you, especially if you turn your back for even a moment.

Redshirt

Rodgers noped out of that Blue Medical Tent as if there was his family there with a flu shot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bannered.

Col. Duke LaCross

Hit him again.

King Hippo

Harder! LOWER!!

Spur

dive at those ankles

Redshirt

Kimo! Kimo! Kimo! Kimo!

Horatio Cornblower

DIDI MAO! DIDI MAO!!

King Hippo

Can y’all SKOL fuckers be a little less STOOPID pls

Spur

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Spur

Rodgers died?

Mr. Ayo

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Spur

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Dunstan

That’s just what THEY want you to think!

King Hippo

Is it early for #2ndPill? Yeah. But WHATEVA, I do what I WANT!!!

Doktor Zymm

As opposed to the Browns, I actually feel bad for the Jets, or at least for Saleh. Qaaron can’t have been his choice for QB, and his homeland is also getting bombed all to shit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, but on the other hand…

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Spur

VP is gonna be on Stern on Tuesday.

Col. Duke LaCross

No way she can lose if she rides the sybian.

LET THE POISON OUT!

Spur

She’ll do it when she gets up here.

Redshirt

Media: “Aaron Rodgers leads the Jets on last second TD to take a 7-17 lead!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want this whole “dork MAGA” thing to stick harder than JD Vance’s couch cushions stick together.

Spur

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blaxabbath

And when you use twitter, you’re giving further money/influence to your enemy.

It’s a zero sum game.

Spur

These Tech Bros products are only viable in stable Western Democracies.

Doktor Zymm

Elon is many things, but calling him a dork is actually quite a compliment while insulting thousands of real dorks

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
Redshirt

Trump: “On the other hand, maybe prison isn’t so bad.”

blaxabbath

Gonna be tough. I googled this and it auto gives Dork Magazine results.

Don T

Lazard! I was only counting on garbage points 😁

blaxabbath

In response to your earlier- increasing brand awareness is lower priority than pulling a fast one. In fact, brand is very very low on this. I mean, there is a name and identity and all that — but my ultimate goal, I think, is to license it.

I’d really rather not have to go fight with all these idiots. The thought is to come out hard and make them hurt; then we can negotiate a compromise settlement. You know, like Palestine.

Horatio Cornblower

The best way to deescalate is to escalate the fuck out of everything.

Don T

🤣🤣

Doktor Zymm

You can’t lose a negotiation if you kill everyone first!

Don T

Negotiating with folks you pissed off is dicey. But can be delicious 🖤

blaxabbath

Half of these broadcast shots are men bickering on the sidelines.

Doktor Zymm

All them pointy points and nary a one for Addison. May signal the end of my #rungood in Vodka league

Mr. Ayo

So close to the first half hat trick

blaxabbath

Goodness, Jets. If you’re only gonna complete 10% of your passes, might as well make every playcall a heave to the end zone.

King Hippo

Warner VERY POLITELY ripping Q-aron a new asshole

Fronkenshteen

Looks like a pair of draws in the early Premier League window, unless Jhon Duran strikes AGAIN.

Don T

That’s good diversity-in’ ✊🏼

Spur

lot of time for Rodgers to over throw his receivers

blaxabbath

I do not think I will ever explore Kissimmee, Florida, England ad.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “kissimmee” during a Jets broadcast I thought you were talking about something else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk

Don T

That’s Puerto Rico Jr.! Tell anyone Héctor sent ya, and send me an AFTER selfie at the hospital.

King Hippo

Can you issue us “One of teh Good Ones” certificates??

Gumbygirl

I just saw the Vikes td. I am 14 minutes behind you guys. Youtube sucks on my bedroom tv, lagging like a mofo.

blaxabbath

I AM CUTTING OFF PHYLLIS’S HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!!!

blaxabbath

If this game gets to 30-0, Sam Darnold suggests lining up one of those plays for Aaron where everyone knows it’s a junker and let’s him “rumble” all the way in for a TD while the fans of both teams cheer for him to get his satisfaction today.

Sam Darnold has a very big heart.

Rodgers in the post-game presser, “I’m the only one who did anything for the offense today.”

blaxabbath

Fake polls!

ArmedandHammered

Rodgers can throw many types of balls – into the ground, to the wrong team, overthrown, overthrown, uncatchable by even a god.

Spur

Vikings pillage!

Horatio Cornblower

Do it for Lindisfarne!!

blaxabbath

Oof.

blaxabbath

Still, would have been nice to see him spear Aaron’s kidney with the crown of his helmet.

ArmedandHammered

I want someone to hit him so hard he remembers his family fondly.

Doktor Zymm

Pip pip! Cheerio!

King Hippo

J-E-S-T in a spot of bother

Doktor Zymm

Rough innings at the aerodrome, old chap!

Spur

Do the people of England have some sort of ingrained PTSD from hearing the Viking horn? Are the fans lining up to give the team its best looking women and anything else of value.

King Hippo

ok, I am loving that joyous chorus of Oasis from the supporters. WHA’ HAPPEN TO HIPPO’S RAGING CYNICISM??

Spur

hate watching Rodgers, brings out those warm joy like feelings in us all

Spur

TD Viks
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blaxabbath

H-A-M. That spells moon!

King Hippo

Minny has no playable tailbacks, a VERY SPECIAL quartered back, and they just went up 17-nil on a FB dive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mooring folks:

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Horatio Cornblower

My Lowratio League opponent this week is Boris Now, who of course started Kirk Cousins this week.

DO I LIKE THAT, HUH? DO I LIKE THAT!?

No. No I don’t.

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
King Hippo

I’m losing Math is Hard with Drake, losing Vodka with Mooney. Fuck all the things.

King Hippo

JJ is drinking Sauce’s milkshake

Spur

I see Rodgers is already pouting on the bench.
Huzzah!

Spur

Moring Folks.

blaxabbath

With Field Generals like this, it’s easy to see why America hasn’t won a war in 50 years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What are you talking about, did you not see the banner?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But seriously we won the living shit out of the first Gulf War.

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Horatio Cornblower

14-2 is a pretty good record.

Gumbygirl

Wow, I am waaaaay behind here. I just saw the 4th and 2 play.

blaxabbath

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Last edited 1 month ago by blaxabbath
blaxabbath

Way to invest in Aaron Rogers then run the ball twice.

King Hippo

Methinks the Jest might just leave Q-aron over there.

Spur

Rodgers would hand himself after seeing all the socialist programs.

blaxabbath

Aaron Rogers appears to be getting impatient with the time it is taking to get in the next play call.

Looks like he’s really anxious to heave up another duck here….

Mr. Ayo

Saleh had the same thought and ran it twice.

Don T

WHY OH WHY IS FUCKING STEPHEN FUCKING A IN EVERY GOD DAMN PLATFORM!1!1!1!1!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TIL that Don T died and got sent to hell but is somehow still capable of communicating with us via DFO.

Sorry about the final judgment, mi hombre. Tu no lo merecias.