Welcome friends to the Early Bird Special featuring…not bird teams. Let us know what you’re drinking and snacking on as you watch this mammoth tilt. (whatever, it’s more football and that can’t be bad) I’m having a hot chocolate/coffee thing that is heavily laden with Irish cream and of course some mini cukes!
To The Game!
Jets/Vikes:
-Rodgers will pass the 60,000 yard mark today with just 96 yards. He dealt with a swollen knee during the week but applied a poultice of virgin platypus gall bladder no doubt and now he’s ready to play. Do your homework, sheeple!
-Aaron Jones has rushed for 90+ yards in three of his four games and that total equals the entire Minny backfield’s output from last season. No wonder he was traded for.
-Darnold is scratching his 7 year itch-this is the only time he’s been 4-0 in his career and when you look where he’s been it makes all kinds of sense.
-Will JJ line up across from The Sauce? I guess if I did a wee bit of homework I could find out for sure but I think Gardiner only plays one side of the field. Addison is no slouch either so the former will be busy no matter what.
-Will the false start issue be addressed by game time? Or did Qaron just mumble, “It’s not my fault, it’s someone else’s like it always is.”
-Pay no mind to the qb’s involved but the Jets have held their last two opponents to under 75 passing yards.
-The Vikes have never lost in London.
Good Morning!
You know, some writers would call the Jets fraudulent about now.
Not me, I knew this team wasn’t a contender! And do you know why?
Because it’s the Jets.
J! E! S! T! JEST! JEST! JEST!!!
HAT TRICK!
Great job Qaron!
That Rodgers left ankle is about to collapse like a steel beam burning in a jet fuel fire.
#HappyEnding
There’s a Reichard’s Third FG Make joke to be made, but I can’t get the wording right.
“Good from the thirty-NEIN!”
CAN WE HAVE ONE GODDAMNED JEST RB SCORE NOW PLEASE
I have Breece Hall and the Minnesota defense.
Like Nigeria, my FF team is a land of contrasts.
Also like Nigeria, my FF team is totally fucked.
It is, and will remain (it being FF) a perfect microcosm of Hippo’s myriad poor life choices
Speaking of poor choices, I just dropped Puka Nacua to pick up some shitty running back. I’m sure this will bite me in the ass in a few weeks, but I did it anyway. Living on the edge!
Ultimately, we all deserve this for rooting for the Vikings.
What in the cinnamon toast fuck (WHERE is sharky??) was that, Touch of Downs??
Yes…
Sam Darnold is doing pretty good considering he is in the presence of his former abuser.
I SAW WHAT YOU DID!
(and appreciate it, as I am banned-for-life from that sub)
Remembered that my travel laptop is technically a tablet so I can watch nfl+ on it without installing an emulator! Woo!
Or I could just go downstairs and watch on my parents tv
I mean, downstairs sounds like a lot of moving about.
I have jury selection this week and I’m doing some work to clear a couple of larger projects out of the way before I go spend 2-3 days talking to people who are too dumb to get out of jury selection and trying to figure out which 6 of them will do the least damage to my case, and the ‘g’ and ‘h’ buttons on my work laptop are dying.
Truly, this is hell.
Just borrow Lowratio’s.
yes I got out of jury panel a few months ago but was still surprised by how many didnt want to be there, gave answers that would get them off but when asked to confirm if it would affect their ability to be a good jurior would strongly deny it
I kind of think it would be interesting to do once, but I’ve never been called up
I’d love to do it, but I’ll never get picked.
“And what do you do”
“I’m an litigation defense att…”
“Get out.”
Dear God, MANDATORY Jaguras/Bearistocrats! will be, like, the BEST THING EVAR
It will be an homage to the Monty Python Ministry of Funny Walks
Forget everyone, it’s just the pills talking now.