I’ve railed constantly about the lack of options in the later afternoon but I’m not angry at the offerings here.
To The Games!
Falcons/Broncos:
All Aboard the Nix Bus! Well, me anyway-I’m streaming him today. He seems to have made some strides after a less than cromulent start and now the offense is catching up to the D. Javonte is the leading rusher but the rookie Estme looks to be closer than he appears in the former’s rear view mirror.
Seahawks/Niners:
They talk about ‘rivalries’ but this one is in name only because San Fran has won seven straight times. It might be time to bring out your Pearsall because Kittle was ruled out Saturday.
Chiefs/Bills:
Well here we are. Allen gets another shot at Patty and the crew. The Chiefs are on the road-how many refs do you think they brought on their carry-on’s? Folks are complaining about K.C.’s offense but it’s ranked 10th overall. Are they really just quiet complaining that it isn’t as exciting as it once was?
Have at it.
NFL World (minus the Chiefs) to Josh Allen:
Dumb and Dumber – Totally redeem yourself!
I’m playing something called Sebastian’s Swag Team in the Lowratio League. I am winning, all of our players are done, and Yahoo is giving SST a 1% chance to win.
Of course, they are playing Dak Prescott at QB, so also consider this a PSA to get someone else in there. 4 games left, 4 QBs left!
Isn’t that Blax?
Fuck you, KC
Just watch. Buffalo will blow this like he blows JJ
Josh Allen has dinner reservation he doesn’t want to miss.
Josh Allen did…a good in the clutch?
Strange times indeed.
because it did not involve throwing!
Touche’
Okay, BLEERGH. Let’s see what you’re really made of.
Holy shit, Josh Allen
josh allen is so much better when he is not throwing the football
Is BUF stupid enough to kick here?
(we all know they are)
I missed that Denver five-yard phalanx push TD. Wow.
I didn’t know Denver was a Greek word.
Still doesn’t make up for Geno shitting the bed in Seattle two weeks ago.
Speaking of which. I still have pain and a bump from falling down because being old sucks
TRUE HIPPO STORY – I had a fall earlier in the week that is so embarrassing that I can’t even share the details with imaginary ppls. Good thing I am a man, and can bury my feelings deep down inside like is preferred.
Booze and pills help
You fell off the toilet, didn’t you?
*whilst masturbating?
*and watching Hello Kitty porn
This is a lesson that no matter how embarrassing something is, imaginary internet friends can think of something MOAR embarrassing.
Geno bringing the 5-5 balance to the NFC West, leaving only the Qards defying him
Wee Kyler would be so excite, but he’s been playing Call of Duty the past 30+ hours straight.
I HATE THE STUPID NINERS
DONT FUCK THIS UP BABY SHANNY
YOU FUCKERS!
SurvivoUr does this to me every year. WAY earlier than this, though.
I’m amazed anyone is still in. It’s week 11! I was out in week one, because of the fucking Bengals.
So Very Tomsulas, letting Geno think he’s people. Then wake up at the very last.
Man, haven’t seen this much Gray in a 4th quarter since Roethlisberger retired.
Hark! Thy Bull hath just Defecated!
First on the 1, I will still get no KHuntDOWN. Goddamnit.
Mahomes had that Bills LB open, just put a bit too much mustard on it.
Two timeouts in a row is delay of game, I know this because Gibbs 2.0 tried it
That really was a very sad experiment. I didn’t even like the guy, but still felt bad for him.
It was peak Dark Times
That was a pick play on Hollins. When are the Chiefs going to get a fucking call?
Hey! Curtis Samuel FINALLY got a TD! Only 7 weeks after I dropped him, lol. Glad he’s making good though
It’s been a while since I’ve seen a game matchup that I will take pains to actively avoid like tonight’s.
Because Shitty Clippers? Or Bungles?
Yes
It is classic Shield nonsense/stupidity that Red Zone doesn’t cover all the Sunday afternoon games because that would make too much sense, especially since one of their gimmicks is showing “all” the touchdowns of the day and, you know, “all” the red zone action for these eleven games each week.
I try to think of it as letting Scott Hanson pee a few minutes earlier
Catheters exist
As do adult diapers, but it’s my understanding he only uses bladder discipline
he eats a certain kind of olive pre-game (and only ONE Diet Pepsi) to help him not pee. Greatest. Living. American.
4th quarter. time for kc to summon another demon. good thing for them hell will never deplete their supply
Whoa, just saw the ATL-DEN score. Do the Falcons suck?
The Falcons may actually suck.
I mean, they are leading the NFC South, so yes because NFC South.
(Although Nix has quietly gotten way better and the Denver D has been consistently good, so it’s also true that the Bonkos are also kinda decent now)
Whoa, just saw the sun set in the West. Does the sun always set in the West?
Easy there, Jared Goff
never a doubt. ever.
Like Goodell
Fuck it, I’m cracking open a beer.
That’s the spirit!
I know no one cares about other people’s fantasy teams, but I really want my team to break 200 here.
I like how poor Sid outscored his projection by 33% and is still going to get destroyed.
He also has Taysom Hill and Levis on his bench, but he’s 7-3 so I don’t feel bad
the pittsburgh penguins since 2017!
Is it just me or is this a pretty boring one score game?
I think SF-SEA is pretty good
Is Juan Jennings the league’s best JJ?
And does BJ Hill give the best…you know.
Are the only good receivers in the league JJs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jquWv9txxGI
Doug Pedersen’s toast, yes?
I’m not a betting man, but I doubt he’s fired before the season’s end. After that?
DEN/ATL getting pretty chippy for a game where the visitors didn’t even show up to play.
Your 2024 Miss Universe:
God aften, frue.
1) Give this lady a sandwich
2) Why is it always Earth women winning miss universe?
Home field advantage.
“Where’s the rest of her?”
-Marika
The food in Denmark is way too good to trust someone this skinny.
Smorrebrod?
Indeed, this is a pickled herring one. I’m also a big fan of the stinky cheese with rum
I hope I don’t end up regretting switching to the Niners in Survivor
They should come right.
Considering how handily the Lions won today…. Yeah, that would suck
Yeah, tie breaker is point differential
So, how are the refs going to bail out the Chiefs today? Bogus Penalty? No call? Forget the rules and award the Chiefs a Rouge in Sudden Death Overtime?
“Get this guy on staff. He’s got some great ideas!”
-R. Goodell, 345 Park Ave, NYC
bills going wide right again will save the refs asses
Redshirt turned into Rikki so gradually that I barely even noticed!
Fuck Liouns upped the murder rate in Detroit with how they slaughtered the Jags.
Potatoes and carrots from the garden are in the oven. Strip steaks are coming to room temperature. Lovely fall dinner coming our way.
The Canucks have gone survivalist? Sheeeeeeeit.
Stand Ur Ground, eh?
Oh wow, the Chiefs got away with a blatant face mask at a crucial point in the game.
Ok, I went for a walk and am watching a little of this Chiefs – Bills game just to be able to know what’s up here.
I see Andy Reid’s genius remains a land of contrasts.
I hate to break it to you, but the Bears teased then fucked up again.
Just copy and paste that shocked gif from above here.
Josh Allen is dumber than a box of rocks.
I know, because I just asked a box of rocks if they would have thrown that pass, and they just glared at me without saying a word, which I took to mean ‘no’
“WE MUST DRAFT THESE ROCKS AT QB!”
-J Haslem
Is there a boycott of the late games I missed an announcement for?
not a whole lot happening that is unusual (chiefs in a close game, falcons being turbo frauds, etc)
josh allen stupid int, it’s been awhile!
Deebo torpedoing all of my FF teams.
I’m on caretaker duties after a hospital visit by Dadshirt.
(Translation: Doing everything while Momshirt is recovering with music and medicinal marijuana.)
Decided to continue the good vibes of the Stillers slaying the Ratbirds by watching the 1979 version of All Quiet on the Western Front.
One thing I certainly didn’t anticipate starting the new jorb was falling deep in the WWI historical rabbit hole.
I figure you can do a Titanic and try to end WW1 with the Kaiser still in power, or at least hope Henry Tandey take the shot at Hitler.
Big man reception!
I think SF Heaux is a good one. 2 good games, redzone be damned.
everybody, a month ago or so: kicking is too easy in the nfl! do we need to narrow the goal posts? move them farther away?
nfl kickers, now:
He really needs someone to help him out there.
Bills-Chiefs or Rescue: HI-Surf. I mean I enjoy football, and have no clue what Rescue: HI-Surf is. On the other hand, Rescue: HI-Surf likely won’t have any Chiefs-Mahomes Slurpage.
America is watching Hi Surf.
Seems unfair that Mahomes gets his own official penalty flag to throw.
Bonix with a score already!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8djegJMBcXs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHl_DaeMDpI
8-2 (1-0)
(closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, muttering) “At least its not Baltimore. At least its not Baltimore.”
Are we allowed to say Baltimore and bridge in the same sentence yet?
Least after the game Netflix is now free to contact the Ravens for acquiring Justin Tucker for a kicking special against a Paul brother.
.
the bears are cursed to have to live off of 1985 until 2085 and the packers are cursed to only win one title with each hall of fame quarterback and then hate his guts forever
Ooh, do the rest of the NFC North!
Is the Lion’s success inversely proportional to the crime rate in Detroit?
the vikings are doomed to never properly tank and rebuild when they should
detroit might be having its chicago 1985 moment. guess what happens next.
Oh, the mouth breathers still love Favre. Welfare fraud is no big deal, and stumping for Trump will forgive the Minnesota years. He’s just a good ole boy, huntin and fishin. Stupid fan base I’m in
I was hoping that Rodgers would go to the Vikings after a year at the Jets and then retiring but not allowed nice things
(checks Gray’s Sports Almanac)
Sorry, Darkest Timeline has Vance-Rodgers ’28. I guess having to fabric clean the cousins after JD’s finishes isn’t a nice thing, unless Aaron is into that sort of thing.
This is an excellent typo!