Welp, these will be brief because today is a regular work day. Don’t shed a tear, it’s for the greater good. (The Greater Good) I’ll be free and clear for FOUR complete days, which almost never happens. Every team is playing but somehow there’s only one game that grabs me by the crotch. Nice going, Shield.
To The Games!
Falcons/Giants:
Oh no, ATL is on the road, how will they ever win? Penix gets the start and he’ll be airing it out because he has a much bigger arm than Cousins. London and Mooney should be able to get behind the Giants cb’s just like everyone else has.
Lions/Bears:
Chicago would appear to be cannon fodder as Detroit looks to get right after last week’s loss.
Browns/Bengals:
Burrow is going to be a lovely trivia question a few years from now. It’ll go along the lines of, “Which player threw X amount of yards and Y amount of TD’s and didn’t win MVP?”
Titans/Colts:
Are you up for a punting exhibition?
Rams/Jets:
LA’s offense seems to have found another gear and I hope the Jets get humiliated. Their once respectable defense has given up the ghost and following their leader, most guys are looking to blame someone else for problems of their own making.
Eagles/Commies:
Saquon’s assault on the MVP trophy seems to have run out of gas. Much like always, I suspect he’s breaking down because that’s what he does when gets a fair amount of usage. No worries though, everyone else has got it in a higher gear-that offense is fearful when fully engaged.
Cards/Panthers:
Who dropped this dirty bomb in our laps? Carolina has been keeping it close these days (last week is the exception) so I expect this to be a trap game for an Arizona team that is looking for an excuse to falter down the stretch.
Have fun folks.
Aw, Happy Holidays Bryce
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck da EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit, this game is nuts!
Extra fitting since Litre is allergic to nuts
And yet, he hangs out here!
Sudden change! Litre perks up!
Blankenship you beauty!!!!
You needed that drop for the cover, even!
Guardian glasses keeping him safe
He was close but Rudolph drove the the Tits sleigh in to a ditch.
When it matters most – that’s the Barkley I know, dropping balls.
Falcons blow out the Giants. Is Penix responsible for any of the scores? Nope. He was flaccid all game long.
Penix out there tossing a hotdog down a hallway
Tennessee halftime speech most uplifting for the Tits since the Wonder Bra.
This is how I picture Gatoraids staying up all last night writing this joke:
https://ibb.co/DVBvXpJ
Nice footwork to keep that INT inbound
Wee Kyler does his best Uncle Jack impression. What a window to be alive!
The ghost of the 2023 Eagles has arrived to haunt the defense!
Commies! Commies!
oh, Litre gon’ be angry. An’ Litre gon’ DRANK
I SAID IW ASNT GOING TO TODAY. ENGAGE WINE
holy moly!
Joe Burrow hoping to be kidnapped from this team if he has to fund a Ace Ventura sequel himself.
A lot of industry have left the state of Ohio but the Factory of Sadness remains.
BANNER
Ditto on Banner
Commies coming back like Vietnam would be quite something
preparing for this drive to be the Long March
And in what fashion!
Kenny Pickett shoulda be examined for a concussion before the game
THis is so painful.
He really is sub-Bosa brother dumb
It’s interesting to see the scores of games where Defense exists vs. the others.
Oh Browns, never change.
#ThePauls
I’m curious if more players have started wearing Guardian caps over the course of the season, but there’s no coverage of that since October. Annoying.
Factory!
They’re consistent. You’ve gotta give them that.
They are a proud multi-generational sadness manufactory!
time to start the meal, later lizard people
Bengals bungling in process.
Fake bobbled snap fumble? LOL
Kinda mean to the poor hapless Bears defense, but also pretty awesome
Only the Bears could fall for a trick play that involves nothing but having half the skill players on the field either stumbling or falling down.
provides them a good excuse since LaPorta was going to be open anyways
and you’d think theyd be used to that from all their practices
Tee is ded.
“Long Live Coffee!”
As the sun sets further on the British Empire.
I learned about this movie today, and now I have to see it.
Melanie Griffith must have owed someone a considerable amount of money.
Meth is a hell of a drug.
It’s boring
not if your stoned and the over acting was funny to me in, and of itself
it is a lot of fu and also has Tim Thomerson in it. Jack Deth!
“In a post-apocalyptic California of 2017…”
I’m sorry, what? Even for ’85 or so that seems awfully pessimistic. 2027, sure.
was surprised the Rifftrax/mst3k guys havent done this one yet.
Pre-boob job Melanie Griffith was a boss!
How did you not know about this???
BLEERGH is keeping the Browns in this game.
Giants offense the gift that keeps giving to the other teams defense
One of these days a defense is going to actually murder their offense.
or vice versa
“You know T, they called me ‘the Throat Goat’ back in the day”
https://twitter.com/PulpLibrarian/status/1870163123732382060
OK, that should be the second one the joke goes to, not the first one that wasn’t even on the one I copied from. What the fuck, Elon?
twitter search algorithm now with Epstein inside
Gluck Gluck 9000
We leave in less than 24 hours. I’m going to pack like a pair of trunks and then Santa’s stuff in a checked bag. Dogs get dropped off with their sitter this afternoon.
I’m beat to shit but, thankfully, my wife learned why we don’t fucking open our house to parties. So long as I can get everything crammed into the dumpster, this fucking place is going into lockdown and everyone else can just suck it this holiday season.
Thought you were already on the island?
That’s the spirit!
Again, turn off the TEN game before halftime. Not worth the Russian adware.
You’re damn near a card carrying member of the Nation….
I’m a sympathizer, yes. Just get Minshew ouuta there.
Орел в гнездо. Орел в гнездо. Лиса покинула курятник.
🤣
I heard, that their army recruitment ads are all a pack of lies.
I couldn’t imagine
Arm tackling Jayden Daniels is like trying to take down a deer with a pool noodle.
I think I could manage that if I was allowed to tie the pool noodle to the bumper of my car
And use said composite-noodle system to strike Daniels in the head.
The Falcons know they are not facing the Patriots right?
50/50
The Giants seem to be pretty clear on the fact that they aren’t facing the Patriots
Can’t get 45 yards FG but drills it from 59? Sure, why not?!
He’s a sniper.
The Drones are stalling the Jets offense
Anybody remember this line “Please don’t leave, the drones need you!”
Gibbs looks like a much younger Saquon.
Go Bears, I guess.
Where?
https://youtu.be/t7SvtikTkrM?si=5BSOKaawOq_Q0k3i
Let’s celebrate the vastness of my wrongness regarding Saquon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGDBExKA3jA
It’s not wrong if you’re bitter 🫠
Most lost Robinson since Crusoe out there today for the Commies