We have no Prem action (not that I’d watch the Gas Leak Season), but a metric fuckton of JV and full-on NFL. I will cover some, scotchy will take the baton around 4p or whenever he finishes cleaning and storing his “tools.”
Stupid Red SAWX Bowl – U*NC (-2.5) v. UConn (11:00, ESPN)
Belicheat robs humanity of losing his kinda-sorta return to Massholia. Avoid this game like the plague, and pray that the Fightin’ Horatios penetrate the Confederates with the biggest and Blackest dildos they can find.
Other AL East Bowl – Boston College (+4) v. Nebraska (Noon, ABC)
This is the Cornfuckers’ first bowl game this century, or close enough to it. As choke-worthy as they are, an ACC opponent is unlikely to put up much of a fight (I type this as I watch Vandy push GT’s shit in).
Clippers du Merde (-4.5) at P*triots (1:00, NFLN)
Woof. One suspects New England spent its load in WNY last weekend, but all the Clips’ running backs are ded and you KNOW how Lesser Harbs feels about the forward pass. Better than the college slate, still.
Blue Meth Bowl – Louisiana (+10) v. TCU (2:15, ESPN)
Blood FOAR the Bloodeyes GOD!!!! I don’t know why the Lafayettes are such big underdogs, was there a random December hurricane or sommet?
Stoner’s Breakfast Bowl – Iowa State (+4) v. Miami-FL (3:30, ABC)
Get ready to find out how very much Da U wants to Da Not Be Here. YES, bet heavy on Cornpone State. I want so badly to post ISU cheer pics here, but society knows what it done.
Here’s Fishbone to wrap up, though:
Good news: Thanks to Herbert and McConkey, I am beating up Hippo in the Freezer Vodka League!
Bad news: This is for 7th place.
Well that’s not fair, playing for the Browns or Jets is just as difficult if not more difficult to come back from as a major injury
I survived the dealership and chick fil a. Time for coffee and wasting another day of my finite existence
I really should nap, but then I might miss the first half of the not-awful game
If you think of it as missing the second half of the shitty clipper does that help?
You got time before RAMMMMMMMIT, nap away.
.
I’m counting on the DFO crew to get me money:
Money league championship game. Do I go with Josh Allen vs the Jets or Bo Nix vs the Bengals?
I’d go Nix.
Have to go with Brokeback, assuming they aren’t already pulling starters.
That said, I am playing Wee Bryce as my finale starter, so maybe disregard anything I say (unless you are counting on dumb luck)
He’s been doing okayish!
Though Cincy’s D is that bad I couldn’t imagine sitting Allen. I’m starting Nix in Freezer Vodka and am expecting major points though.
Gotta go Allen.
So far 2 Allen 2 Nix….
I count Scotchy’s as a Nix endorsement
Go against whatever Hippo said
Allen.
With Jim Mora locked in for four more years, a 9 win season and a decent bowl win there’s now nothing stopping UConn football from competing for a national championship other then a relative lack of interest in football from the State at large, comparatively little in NIL funding, and a complete inability to compete for top recruits with SEC, Big-12, and Big-10 schools.
if only Belicheat were present, and Mora got recorded yelling How my ASS taste, motherfucker? at him
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S BETTER THAN ONE PAPE JOHN’S PIZZA!?!?”
Literally any other pizza?
including my high schools cafeteria pizza
We called our high school “pizza” an abortion on toast.
Still better than Pappa John’s, unless you include the placenta, that is just gross.
Little Caesars is the only one worse IMO.
We have a dude around here that has his own pizza shop. If he’s delivering towards the end of the night and you’ve got some beers, he’ll stay awhile.
The UNC QB is talking an awful lot of shit for having cut the lead to 13 with less than 7 minutes ago.
But then, he’s a UNC QB, so you have to assume he can’t count and doesn’t know what the score is to begin with.
if they could express the terms in ounces of cocaine, he could do the conversion easy
I’ve found what to get the Deadlys for next Xmas!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1797585086/personalized-vacuum-cleaner-christmas?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_d-home_and_living&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiA4L67BhDUARIsADWrl7G0E97mciMqWh2Y_tDZItMNijhJDGaK8F8Wpce20rOSwjW6eO-WPv8aAg9DEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_21500568456_167985814079_716809480486_pla-303628061699_m__1797585086_5443480321&utm_custom2=21500568456&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4L67BhDUARIsADWrl7G0E97mciMqWh2Y_tDZItMNijhJDGaK8F8Wpce20rOSwjW6eO-WPv8aAg9DEALw_wcB
The Pop-Tart Bowl absolutely rules. Make it the National Championship game, now.
https://twitter.com/SickosCommittee/status/1873080188143358073
THIS UNC DRIVE, I CALL IT AN EARLY IDITAROD BECAUSE THERE ARE DEAD HUSKIES EVERYWHERE!!!
I was going to do an Old Yeller reference, but that’ll do, Horatio, that’ll do..
We would also have accepted Old Yeller.
working on a classic from the old site by special request for a friends.
https://sarahsprague.com/2007/08/17/friday-football-foodie-buffalo-chicken-dip-stoli-blueberri-fizz-and-sweet-potato-chips/
Bell Biv Devoe on the bumper music. Nice.
While UNC is having great results running the ball, I’m not sure establishing the run down 20 with 9 minutes to go in the 4th is a strategy anyone but Mike McCarthy would approve of.
“Rosa is from Bristol, CT, the home of ESPN.”
Also Aaron Hernandez, but Bristol kind of keeps that one unmentioned.
“The most common side effect is the common cold.” – an excema medicine ad
How in God’s name is someone getting the common cold from taking excema medicine? Where the fuck is this stuff manufactured? A kindergarten classroom?
probably lowers your immunity to certain virii.
The meds come with a 7 year old, like one of the bottles at the bottle shoppe with an airline bottle attached.
My understanding is they have to list everything people suffered from while testing the medication, regardless if it was related to the medication or not. That’s why every pill ad mentions diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting.
It’s weird that so much medication is tested while the subjects are watching Browns games.
What other group is in more need of medication?
“May cause hangovers, vertigo, and alcoholic DTs.”
Alcoholic DPs?
Yep, and you would not believe the ferocity that the pharma’s will fight about the relatedness of an adverse event. My favorite was a series of queries between the site and the pharma who was rightfully unhappy about the site reporting the drug was completely responsible for the patient’s alopecia (hair loss/thinning) which in turn was responsible for the patient’s death. From my years of experience in clinical research, there are certain pharmas that I will never take their drugs.
Name names, dammit!
Merck, I will never ever take anything from Merck or DePuy, Merck due just to my understanding of things I read in the queries (and that is all I feel comfortable saying) and for DePuy those fuckers with the Sackler’s are responsible for releasing oxy on us and bribing the FDA while also tampering with the data. My sister died from OD’ing that shit, and the only reason the Dr. had prescribed it for her earlier back pain was that it was non-addictive, or so the sales people, the FDA, and the pharma said.
The Sacklers should be hunted for sport.
Along with the bribed FDA personnel. They really betrayed the country.
My favorite is still the restless leg meds that may cause sex and gambling addiction. It’s actually a side effect of some Alzheimers meds as well
Moar like restless third leg, amirite?
They already sell pills to produce that.
My back alley neighbors.
Do you think they won one of those “His and Her” car type of things on The Price is Right?
I mean, who buys the same fucking car twice?
Come on now, they appear to be slightly different shades of red. Or orange. Or puce.
My car is also Ambiguous OrangeRed. They called it Glazed Cinnamon Roll or some horseshit like that. I’m a rebel, so I call it brown.
Maybe the dealership had a BOGO sale going on?
Actually sounds pretty practical
Could it be an adult/child type situation, where the parent liked the car enough to get a new version of the same one, and then passed the old one down to their kid?
I purchased a 2018 black Dodge Rebel pickup. My next vehicle was a 2021 black Dodge Rebel pickup.
So sick that maybe an edible and a Snickers bar may fix it.
for instant relief try new Vick’s TCH Menthol vapes!
From the makers of Vick’s Vap-o-rub! We thought, if it works so well on the outside, maybe we should see how it works on the inside! The THC is an indica strain to help you relax and sleep comfortably, all night long!
Spiciest food you can handle, burn those germies out of there!
Look at the Fightin’ Horatios!
One of them appears to be dead.
Good thing he can walk on his own as that is one big boy.
Yeah, at 6’8″ and 305 if he can’t get up they’re just going to put one of those horse-track tents around him, there will be a ‘bang’, then a tractor will come out and dig a hole at the 30.
Neigh.
Maye day, Maye day
Chipotle is “almost like a farmer’s market.”
Man, shut the fuck up.
Exactly how much Bailey’s are you going to be putting in my hot chocolate, Military Bowl?
https://twitter.com/MilitaryBowl/status/1873029581814522221
I think today is going to be a big organizing day and maybe I’ll hang some more art, then I’ll work on light fixtures tomorrow,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1l69n90l64&t=4s
The fact that all these chucklefucks call him Coach Prime really grinds my gears.
Imma head out and shake my fist at some clouds right now.
It’s 9:34 a.m. and Shin (my MiL) has bowed out of the daily refrigerator chime challenge.
It should be noted that Rikki himself flamed out of the RCC rather spectacularly yesterday when he attempted to pick up a bag of frozen berries that had been improperly closed and stored open side down in the freezer by his beloved wife, which required him to spend the next ten minutes picking frozen berries out from among the rest of the stuff in the freezer drawer.
What exactly is the refrigerator chime challenge?
It’s to see if my wife and/or mother-in-law can get through a day without having the refrigerator start complaining because they left the door open too long (or sometimes simply walked away without closing it).
You could have vacuumed up the berries.
or saved the information for when you needed to distract your wife so she could vacuum them up
Well, might as well fire up the Gamblor machine for today.
God Bless All Y’all Fightin’ Horatios
The Fightins are apparently feeling their oats.
https://twitter.com/TheUConnBlog/status/1873060265975234576
that NO QUARTER account must be deliriously happy!
Trump University had more academic integrity than UNC has now.
Only going to have more rigid standards now that Belichek is coming.
Apparently he couldn’t be bothered to show up for this game.
His tenure at UNC is going to be a disaster.
Bad Boys Mower Bowl is so stupid. Sir, you are on a lawn mower, there is nothing ‘Bad Boy’ about you.
excuse me
Stephen King had a thing for lawnmowers, didn’t he?
until he got sidetracked by vans
Holy shit.
It’s too bad we don’t add context to banner comments because that one belongs up there.
You have never used an old style Gravely tractor have you. The seat was a disc mounted on metal shaft and attached at the bottom by a sort of ball and hitch. It could move at 15mph and you could use it to grind stumps down AND mow your grass. Oh, and you locked it into forward or reverse and there was no throttle – just off, idle, and mow. There were only a couple of us who were willing to use the thing, the rest of the crew were too scared to use it. Remember we were mowing fields and meadows in the mountains, so it was not mowing on flat ground. I certainly felt like a bad boy riding that machine.
A bit smaller than what we used, we had the 40 inch deck and dual wheels for using on steep terrain. Just put it in go and it would pull you up the side of the mountain. The bade was 6 inches wide and heavy steel.
https://images.app.goo.gl/WqnhUaSu8BUNDTRY9
This is the one we had, although I recall a wider mowing deck.
I used one of those working a maintenance job for the town back when I was in college. It was a walk-behind, (they did have the seat you mentioned available, but none of us used it, because if we did we would finish mowing faster and have to do something else), and it “steered” by using some sort of weird, rudder like contraption that swung back-and-forth.
They never had us chew up a stump with it, but I can see where it could have.
we had one at home just like that the one I worked with so I was familar with them. my dad would use ours to grind down stumps.
Bad Boy Mower (artist’s conception):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY5LyW3NZQA&t=154
Deke, just get behind the mower, lean down on the handles, and shove it down on a pile of rocks.
Christ, I have to do everything in the this apocalyptic landscape in which humans are hunted by machines.
I still want to know how that soda machine was aiming those cans, cuz, that was some good shootin’ Tex.
I was kinda traumatized by that scene. But I was back to chuckling when the steam roller came rolling through.
was trying to find the game wondering what black hole of a service its on and found out its on NFL Network
Wasabi Fenway Bowl, more like the too tame even for Joe Flacco’s bland sense of taste.
It turns out it’s a technology company. I thought it was something like whatever bowl is sponsored by avocados, but nope.
Just saw something for Snoop Dog’s Arizona Bowl, really? I hope it is well packed and makes everyone happy.
If I can see the field through all the smoke I am going to be sorely disappointed.
They will probably place giant fans to blow the smoke up the stands, so the upper tiers will be the best place to sit.
Jesuits must have a prohibition against scholarships for placement men – BC hasn’t had a reasonable kicker in about 20 years
Chestnut Hill College hasn’t been relevant in about 20 years.
cheering for a Buttchinksi-coached squadron feels dirty. But such is life/bowl season. Also, I still maintain Rikki’s Cider House Rhules post belongs in the goodly-writin’ Hall of Fame.
Why do you have the Stoner’s Breakfast Bowl at 3:30pm? That is even after the morning on the west coast, with a name like that I want a feature I can wake and bake to. The only time I slept to 3:30 pm was after a stand of being awake for 72 hours.
It was all I could think of for Pop-Tarts. You’re rite, though – more like “Stoner’s Brunch”
Stoner Munchies bowl presented by Pop-Tarts, Doritos, and Hidden Valley cool ranch dressing! Try the new Cool Ranch Doritos Pop-Tarts!
I would eat that
Why am I not surprised by this?
Because we have met and I disposed of a whole bag of edibles with you?
yep
Seems I had some bad information. UConn’s stud receiver is going to the portal, but he’s also playing today.
I apologize to all of you who rely on me for accurate information on college football gambling.
You really let your good friend Tom Cullen down.
M-O-O-N! That spells lock of the century uh da WEEK
M-O-O-N, that spells bankruptcy!
Or that gun/religious cult Brick and I were speaking about a couple days ago.
The Republican Party?
I seem to revert to a lazier, drunker version of myself when I’m in Chicago. I only just woke up, and contemplating heading to the bar for brunch even though I have laksa and kway teow in the fridge
You’re still gonna need dinner.
Get the going out done early, gives you more uninterrupted time to drink, smoke, and watch football.
It’s a “nice easy drive” to Boston for UConn alumni, says an announcer who has clearly never tried to drive into Boston.
“nice easy drive into Bahstahn” is like “spring is super awesome in Beirut”
It is though, Beirut is a lovely seaside city when it’s not being blown up
When exactly is that?
February 29th.
Pretty big “when” though!
I feel like Cameron in Ferris Buellers day off when he is sick. Humidifier going, no tv in this bedroom though. Will have to make it to the couch in the basement soon.
Let my people gooooooo
As my friend said yesterday when he was mildly congested, it’s not until child birth that a woman can understand the pain of a man with a slight headcold. I think a kidney stone is also comprable.
When I was on my 2nd ER visit for my kidney stone (had to be surgically removed after 7 days), the nurse said she had one once, and also birthed 4 kids. Said “give me a childbirth any day of the week!”
/probably trying to make me feel less like a baby until the IV morphine kicked in
I am glad I have had one kidney stone, it really expanded my pain scale and has set the 10th point as kidney stone pain. My doctor respects that.
My son now lives in Burlington, VT, and sitting here with him watching the Fenway Bowl and listening to him slur Boston is hilarious.
Sounds about right…
/Mortgages house to bet on Denver
I am stuck at the dealership all morning. I should just get a Lyft home, but I’m going to try and wander out at some point.
If it’s a pill dealership Hippo will volunteer to spell you.
Tarheel QB appears deader than a UNC football player during a pop quiz; adjust your betting strategies accordingly.
Asked my son what he’d just got from the local coffee shop.
“A brown-butter latte”
Me: “Do you think you’ll like diabetes?”
Announcer saying that UConn’s OC is relying on the run to avoid the UNC rush tells me that he didn’t bother watching any film, because the reason UConn is relying on the run is that their QB blows goats.
Insurmountable 3-0 lead for the Fightins!
Doctor lady shamed me into getting back on my exercise bike. Twice in last 3 days, I figure can increase after I’ve made “every other day” a habit for a month or so.
Also swearing off any and all fast foodstuffs. FUCK EVERYTHING.
(every other day in your case…but it still holds)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2_Mn-qRKjA
Such a great show.
she pull the no exercise , no pills card?
Thank fuck, no. Those come from my no-nonsense Asian neck doctor, who is the Second Greatest Living American (after Scott Hanson).
Put on some tunes and ride. Turn every other day into daily eventually.
We say: no brain – no pain. Just drone out and do it. Its no fun, its not supposed to be. Enbrace the suck and you will be rewarded. This I know.
You got this.
Doing it very first thing (after I pee and pull up Netflix) is the best way to avoid…avoidance. Agree, once it becomes rote behavioUr, I should be golden.
I knock it out early in the morning. That way nothing during the day trumps it. And it takes no time away from the family, they are waking up as I am finishing. Plus nothing for the rest of the day will be that hard. I go to bed an hour earlier so I can get up and get after it an hour earlier. It works out well for me, just find what works for you.
Just got up. I’m several dollars richer from last night after the last four of us in the year-end poker tournament agreed to a chop. I am bragging, but in fairness I should point out I was the small stack at the time, although I did not request the chop.
That was the host, who had been knocked out some time earlier and wanted us out of his house.
Anyway, gonna let it all ride on the Fightin’ Horatios,* with maybe a hedge on the Patriots to win outright,** and surely double or even triple my vast winnings.***
I see no way this can end badly for me.
*I am not going to do this, nor should you. Fightins are down a couple of studs due to the portal and will likely get killed. Still gonna watch.
**Absolutely not. The Pats are tanking and I wouldn’t bet on them due to general principles anyway, and also gambling on the NFL is just silly given the officiating.
***Not all that vast, but money won at poker always feels better. ‘Molly’s Game’ was right about that.
No goals in the shootout round after 12 shots. Insane
Latvians win after 16 shots.
is The Canadia shamed by this?
I haven’t seen such a lack of scoring despite abundant opportunities since the first year I lived in San Diego after graduating from college.
Canadian juniors have outshot Latvia 56-21-they’re in OT.