This One’s For All The Bananas. It’s Sunday Night Football!

It really doesn’t get much better than this. That it comes from the NFC North is a question that football historians will debate even two weeks from now. I remember way back in the day when the one win Giants and Niners met on a Sunday(?) night in 1990. This clash is right up there.

To The Game!

Vikes/Lions

-The loser is the most ridiculously powerful #5 seed that has ever been and going on the road wouldn’t be an impediment to success. (feel free to correct me)

-There was a look-a-like Dan Campbell Contest. Several entrants suffered knee-related injuries.

-Can I say anything more about Goff? He’s flinging it at a 77% rate. Deniers will go the “Dome” route but I’m in the “right time, perfect place” camp. It’s the offense running on all cylinders because he makes the perfect pass every time.

-This is going to be fascinating-Gibbs has gone nuts (thanks fantasy champeenship!) but the Vikes D is holding teams to 88 yards per game. OC Ben Johnson doesn’t turn away from the rush that easily if stymied so we’re going to see a chess game.

-Lions linebacker might be back from the walking wounded squadoo but from what I’ve seen of Alex Anzalone..yeah, he’s a tackling machine for runners up the middle but that guy is slow tracking tight ends or rb’s out of the backfield.

-The Lions have won four straight vs their Minny opponents for the first time in a while.

-My sneaky game-breaker tonight? He goes by the name of Jalen Nailor. He’s a #2 wr in the making that is 4th in the pecking order behind JJ, Addison and Hockey. He’ll only get, at most, four looks but if they’re at the right time he’ll do damage.

Enjoy.

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fleshwound_NPG

one more gibbsdown and he’ll tie the polk high record

WCS

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Jimbo

It’s over, On to Rammit!

King Hippo

That should be easy pickins. Just hope the Commies can spring an upset, I’d like to see both these fuckadoos in the NFC Title match.

LemonJello

We almost had a moment of lionsenschiesse right there.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s coming. I’m guessing the divisionals. Maybe the conference championship.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, Campbell’s a lot of fun to watch, but he’s absolutely going to fuck up at the worst possible time.

Which, let’s face it, is going to be late in the Super Bowl against KC.

King Hippo

Man, they have a READ on those flat routes. Maybe no call no more?

JustStopDude

“Jared Goff is not just a star, but a superstar in this league…because he can do a play action, dump off pass, to the RB.”

– Cris Collinsworth’s CTE.

ballsofsteelandfury

They don’t make superstars the way they used to…

JustStopDude

I just hope that Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen have been taking notes.

fleshwound_NPG

almost immediately throws a dumb pick 6

fleshwound_NPG

*immediately almost

almost right

litre_cola

Mrs Cola just asked if he was on drugs with that comment.

King Hippo

I mean, Mormonism is kind of an opiate?

King Hippo

y aren’t SUITS gud enuff 4 CHI****????

Jimbo

These guys in Suits?

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Doktor Zymm

The most unrealistic thing about that scene is all the ketchup on that table

Horatio Cornblower

The way they ushered the Japanese actress who just won off before she could really speak you’d think Bill Parcells was producing this show.

Unsurprised

I feel like I missed something watching Telemundo

Doktor Zymm

comment image

No 4th down points for you right meow

King Hippo

DAAAAWWWWWW!!!!

Jimbo

Disney really skimped on the FX for Mufasa.

fleshwound_NPG

refs iced the kicker because they are tired of minnys bullshit tonight

WCS

THE SPIRIT OF BLAIR WALSH COMPELLS YOU

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B Walsh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SHAN’KHLOR has become displeased with the Vikings. “That’s enough fucking field goals for tonight,” she said.

King Hippo

I didn’t know Fabio had a son?

litre_cola

Start time for every Wild Card game in 500’s history
2011: Saturday 3:30
2012: Saturday 3:30
2015: Saturday 3:30
2016: Saturday 3:30
2018: Saturday 3:30
2019: Saturday 3:30
2023: Saturday 3:30
2024: Saturday 3:30

Doktor Zymm

They’ve been in a lot of wildcard games for an imaginary team!

Doktor Zymm

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Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

Remind us to pay attention tomorrow!

litre_cola

The way O’Connell is mathing tonight the Vikes will scoe a TD and then kick the xtra point

Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of Golden Globes, Salma Hayek is on stage.

Horatio Cornblower

Hayek is either hammered or not paying any attention.

It could be both.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are the girls out?

Horatio Cornblower

Not so much.

The string of emeralds she’s got around her neck was pretty damn impressive however. Probably real too; I believe she married some European billionaire.

Gumbygirl

They are all wearing real jewelry. The difference is, hers isn’t borrowed.

Horatio Cornblower

Hmmm, this Rinvoq relieves my ulcerative colitis, but it also causes blood cancer in lab rats…

Don T

Does it cause highness in humans?

fleshwound_NPG

detroit give up fg points because they are, unlike most teams, usually good at it

Downfield Matriculator

Buster got it over the D line that time

litre_cola

Fuck dem kicks

King Hippo

The angry gym teacher. Brave gym teacher. Brave enough to TRUST TEH MATHS.

Mr. Ayo

USA! USA! USA!

Suck it Finland!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

finland literally translates to “land where it’s over” ppl forget that

Doktor Zymm

Nah, it’s just the way drunk scandanavians say ‘fenland’ because the place is full of swamps.

*This is actually true, mostly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sounds like a land of contrasts.

Mr. Ayo
JustStopDude

“Hey my kid says this Darnold fella can ball. See if we can make an offer after the playoffs” – Woody Johnson

Doktor Zymm

How much derp did Darnold derp when Darnold did derp derp?

ballsofsteelandfury

There were only two teams in the NFL this year with winning records that did not make the playoffs: Seattle (10-7) and Cincy (9-8)

Everyone else had a losing record and, rightfully, missed the tournament.

Mr. Ayo

HOX WERE ROBBED!

WCS

GE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

litre_cola

Kraken will make it right?

Mr. Ayo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Their odds are slimmer than the Bungles were this morning.

Horatio Cornblower

Dipping into the Golden Globes between Darnold Derps, (fuck yeah alliteration!), and it seems Rachel Bresnahan was on her high school wrestling team, and I’d let her pin me, if you know what I mean!*

*I mean I’m kind of frail, not very good at wrestling, and that she’d probably just drop me on my head before I could even get into a defensive stance.

King Hippo

no wonder she has such nice shoulders!

fleshwound_NPG

yep

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Mr. Ayo

I’d have a hard time wrestling her in my singlet with an awkward erection.

Horatio Cornblower

/trying to get into position while tearfully apologizing

ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t that just describing everyday sex?

WCS

It’s usually Lowratio that’s crying.

fleshwound_NPG

pundits: 2024 nfc north the best division ever

nfc north, january: lol nope

bears: huh?

Doktor Zymm

I kinda think that any division named best ever should have all teams over .500, otherwise it’s just the best fraction of a division ever

LemonJello

It seems to be a race to plaid between these two teams.

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Doktor Zymm

4D 6G Hyperplaid

Doktor Zymm

This batch of guys pulled of the streets of Detroit are pretty good, but they’ve gotta be pissed about being on the field the entire game

Horatio Cornblower

They should be pissed about the hideous uniforms they have to wear.

Doktor Zymm

It’s more time on camera in those unis

fleshwound_NPG

theyre used to being put in hard situationscomment image

Horatio Cornblower

My son just told me he lost his FF championship game because h started the Chiefs defense.

a). What kind of deranged league has a championship that includes Week 18? Week 17 is pushing it.

$). Who starts a defense that has nothing to play for and benched half their starters? That one’s easy: my kid, who pays no attention to sports but still got his team to the championship game, because FF is a lie.

BugEyedBoo

Default ESPN random strangers league had their finals on week 18 last year IIRC.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I found a picture of Sam Darnold from when he was a child:

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Doktor Zymm

This is a very silly game
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Mr. Ayo

It appears the touch of downs is contagious.

Jimbo

RFK jr has been saying that.

fleshwound_NPG

THE MOST SEX CANNONY ARM PUNT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That pass was so perplexing that the Spanish-language announcer just broke into English to say “Can someone explain that to me?”

BeefReeferLives

¿cómo se dice “th fuck”?

BeefReeferLives

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Don T

O’Connell cannot win the testosterone battle against Campbell. Kick it, man!

Mr. Ayo

Another very special down in the red zone.

fleshwound_NPG

STOP. GIVING. UP. POINTS.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Joe Burrow to his team’s defense, repeatedly

litre_cola

Math is hard in Minnesota.

Doktor Zymm

Vikes gonna go for it? Lol

Gumbygirl

How does Darnold Derp?

Doktor Zymm

Derpily!

Don T

Let me count the ways.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ANNOUNCER: You could drive a truck through that hole…

BRITT REID: [attempts to do so]

Doktor Zymm

Offsetting grounding no calls

Doktor Zymm

I have no expectations that WAS will win a playoff game, but I think they have a shot with this matchup and it would be glorious for them to get their first playoff win in 19 years so soon after shaking off Snyder

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mark Davis, glaring daggers at the haircut of the dude on the left (artist’s conception):

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LemonJello

Let’s have the studio show live on the field at halftime SO THEY CAN ALL SHOUT INTO THEIR MICROPHONES FOR NO GODDAMMED REASON

fleshwound_NPG

if vikes didnt foolishly go for it earlier they would be leading 9-7 right now

Doktor Zymm

Or not because the Lions wouldn’t have started that drive way back by their own goal line and it all could have played out differently

Horatio Cornblower

Chaos is a ladder….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Don’t talk to me about ladders…” – Lowratio, trapped for the night in his sleepin’ pit

Doktor Zymm

At least he has a typewriter down there so he can work on his minifesto

litre_cola

He is still angling for more of his onlyfans 50 year old shower scenes

ballsofsteelandfury

Lowratio’s Minifesto is going to be my FF team name next year.

Horatio Cornblower

When we redid the kitchen he got a spot upstairs for the colder months, right next to the vacuum cleaner.

Doktor Zymm

And a butterfly. In conclusion, Chaos is a land of contrasts!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was a land of chaos.

Horatio Cornblower
Gumbygirl

.

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fleshwound_NPG

vikings: foolish? you havent seen anything yet! *kick goes out of bounds*

ThePirateSloth

I want this game to end in a tie.

Simply for the chaos.

Doktor Zymm

Lions have the tiebreaker, so not super chaotic but definitely way more awesome

Brocky

“….bruh….”

Brocky at about 3:07 PM earlier today

King Hippo

Man, EVERYONE is #FullDarnold tonight

Jimbo

Is it Jan 21 already.