Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Weekend, 2024 Season

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YEEEHHHHHAAAAAWWWWW, Wild Card Weekend means SIX games now, not that they all lived up to any sort of billing.

Very briefly recapping Saturday, the 500s started horribly, then flipped on a dime and ass-blasted Clippers du Merde, 32-12.  A Scorigami and everything!  Houston springing to life could have maybe inspired the Yinzers to shake off their haze…but it didn’t.  Ratbirds led 21-zip at the half, and cruise controlled to a 28-14 home win.

So, we had early Sunday action in WNY, and my Donks (WOO!!) surprisingly came out swinging, taking a 7-nil lead on the opening drive of the game.  Denver calls the fly route to Franklin once every single game, and he finally fucking CAUGHT one of ’em!

It would…not be a harbinger of things to come.  Denver did hold BUF to a field goal on their opening drive, and despite being outgained and out-possessioned dramatically over the rest of the opening 30 – it was a manageable 10-7 at the half.  Both defensive coordinators really called masterful games, keeping the quartered backs mostly within the pocket and taking away their favoUrite little routes/plays.   But one QB is capable of rapidly going through all his progressions and making whatever play there is to be made – and his name ain’t Bo Nix.  We’d end with Bollo del Verdad taking three knees inside the DEN 10, for a 31-7 final.  No rage from me, there was no path to victory here whatsoever.  The team fought, especially on defense, and didn’t look fazed by the occasion.  Buffalo is just a lot better, and it showed.  No big whoop.

Bills Mafia will host Lamar! and company next week, and that will be some must-watch shit.

Philadelphia, on the other hand, caught an early break (fumble on opening kickoff), and this WOULD be a harbinger of Green Bay’s doom.  7-0 was almost as close as they’d get the rest of the way.  I mean, very briefly they cut the margin to 16-10, but the Iggles just managed to pay attention long enough to shut the door, and shut it HARD.  It was a very solid defensing performance, but Hurts’ passing game was every bit as fugly as Jordan Love’s.  And Love at least had the excuse of ded receivers all over the pitch.  But when you have Saquon on your team, you’ve always got a chip and a chair, and he churned out all the offense Philly really needed.  For THIS round, anyway.  22-10 is your final.

Time to put one’s caffeine intake to the test, because the nightcap was a proper FITBAW match.  Back and forth we went, trading leads – until Dan Quinn got the best run blitz of the century, stuffing Bucky Irving on 3rd and inches and forcing a MRSA Men placement attempt.  It was good, but now we are just tied at 20, setting Jayden Daniels up to bleed the last 4-and-change so the Commies could win on a short(ish) placement of their own.  He did, and they did, 23-20.  There was much rejoicing within the Comintern.  Washington now rolls on to Detroit, where Henry Ford’s strike-breakers await.  Heady times, Proletariat.

Tune in tonight, to see how badly Touch of Downs torches RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!, en route to the DET/MIN clash almost everyone wants.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Redshirt

This!

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blaxabbath

I didn’t even know there still were home uniforms. I thought every week was just a chance to wear whatever is in the closet that looks hideous.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck both those teams, make tOSU wear all gray and the Irish wear those green atrocities.

Unsurprised

Agreed. Fuck both these teams and I hope a comet strikes the stadium

Brocky

Make them wear uniforms covered in pheromones from killer bees!

Redshirt

Jerry’s mistake was leaving McCarthy alone in a 4th Floor Conference Room in a power play to get him to agree to a his terms for a new contract. A fall from the fourth story, while painful, is still survivable.

NotShogunButShogun

No. The mistake was not removing the ice cream from the fridge. “He’s still HERE?! GOTDAMNIT!”

litre_cola

Jerrah is going to hire Kellen Moore and after yesterday’s wet fart of playcalling I am not too worried about losing him.

SonOfSpam

So some guy (possibly Brocky) was arrested for stalking Caitlin Clark, and my first reaction was “surprised it took this long” and wow is that fucked up. Being female and famous is a fucking burden.

Senor Weaselo

For legal reasons, Brocky was here the whole time.

But also that’s fucked up, and you’re unfortunately very right.

Last edited 2 hours ago by Senor Weaselo
blaxabbath
Redshirt

Showing her belly button, shoulders and elbows. The harlot was practicing begging for attention from a gentleman caller!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not to mention swimming. Only witches know how to do that!

Brocky

I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended you think that I’m capable of that level of competence.

My parents would approve.

Hell they’d just be relieved I haven’t committed to life as a hermit

Redshirt

John Hinckley’s parents said the same thing.

LemonJello

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Last edited 5 minutes ago by LemonJello
Doktor Zymm

My reaction was “they actually arrested the guy? I guess that’s because she’s famous” which is also fucked up

yeah right

This will be fun.

It’s Monday which means workday. Which means I don’t get home until 7:30 PST.

Which ultimately means avoiding all news, sports, radio, texts, any fucking thing because the game will be recorded.

Gonna need some extra luck.

Doktor Zymm

You aren’t meeting up with Spam to glare at each other throughout the game?

SonOfSpam

THE DELICIOUS TENSION!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So are the Cowboys actually going to fire Mike McCarthy or are they just giving him the Milton treatment (i.e. stop issuing paycheck and expecting him to eventually get the message)?

EDIT: It’s official, McCarthy is out.

Last edited 2 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Unsurprised

It’s Jerrah World. He’s probably getting a raise.

Jimbo

Yes , just saw on espn

Senor Weaselo

Sounds like the latter!

SonOfSpam

Spencer Hall is trying to manifest Coach Deion into existence.

I love it (as someone who is not a Cowboys fan).

blaxabbath

I like that Jerrah just denied the Bears request, let the contract expire, then took no action during the negotiation period.

I guess he’d better get something for his money at this point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jerry Jones is the one man on earth who would say “no” when asked by Coach Reid if he’s finished with that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who wants fish soup for breakfast?

ballsofsteelandfury

Is that a euphemism?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No. I should be happy this is happening before the wind kicks up and the air gets bad again so we can’t open up the windows.

litre_cola

I totally was in my own head and thought the Birds would choke that game away. A win is a win and on to next week.

I have no preference on Rammit or Skol. My negativity will tell me the Eagles are going to lose. For Dok and my bet I hope that I am wrong.

Brocky

I go into every green bay game expecting black magic fuckery and the refs.

You were right to be cautious

Redshirt

.

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NotShogunButShogun

As I said, there’s JV and there’s varsity. The problem is many of the former varsity teams don’t realize they’re just not. Complacent indifference.

BugEyedBoo

I get the opposite on Steelers Depot. I look there, because evidently I hate myself. Steelers went 10-7 with a garbage offense, made it to the wild card, and got thumped in the first round. That’s probably as good as possible, given Mike Tomlin voodoo. The consensus over there is that the Steelers should have had a deep run into the playoffs, not doing it is Tomlin’s fault, and Tomlin and everyone on the coaching staff should be fired. Into the sun, if possible.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s insanity. Before the season, I predicted this would be the team that broke Tomlin’s streak.

They overachieved like a motherfucker

BugEyedBoo

You weren’t the only one. There was one guy that pointed this out on Steelers Depot. “I remember that the consensus here was sub-.500 and Tomlin will get fired for it. This is overachieving!” Someone replied that they should have made it farther, and the reply was, “You’re mad because Tomlin didn’t overachieve enough?”

BeefReeferLives

Yeah, I go there too. I made that point (that they overachieved this season) and got called a “Tomlin apologist”.

Yeah, they are reacting COMPLETELY REASONALBLY & with level headed logic…

Gumbygirl

I avoid that place like the plague. And the Post-Gazette too.

ballsofsteelandfury

For some reason, the Post-Gazette just HATES Tomlin.

Doktor Zymm

I’m thankful we have reasonable Yinzers here. Otherwise I would hope these idiots get exactly what they’re wishing for and oh how I would laugh when Tomlin went on to win a couple Owls with some other team in the AFC while those very same fans get a taste of what it’s like to be a fan of a team that isn’t extremely well run

blaxabbath

Tomlin to Dallas!

NotShogunButShogun

What I mean is the “we’ve been good so we are good” mentality while doing very little to actually change things. Everyone else knows otherwise except the ones who can actually change it. “Hey we made the playoffs again! So that’s good!”
A handy from your cousin might be “good,” but it’s not right.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m actually surprised the Packers were as good as they were this year. Love is good, but he needs to develop and improve if the expectations are going to be “deep in the playoffs”.

NotShogunButShogun

And not be the youngest team yet again, be more active in free agency, find some leaders (Xavier is on his way, Love just isn’t).

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So the only game I should have watched was the one that would have cost me sleep. I was in bed by 1030 so I stand by my choices.

Brocky

I’m just happy with all of the negative press for Jordan love.

You’re mad that I’m bringing up that you spent millions of dollars for a qb who hasn’t exactly earned it?

Well maybe you shouldn’t have made every effort to shit on a rookie qb who was the most sacked player in the league!

ballsofsteelandfury

I think we should also mention Redshirt’s incredible parlay payout where he, smartly, chose to get an early payout instead of letting it ride on Tampa minus 3.

Nice job, Redshirt!

Last edited 4 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Redshirt

Perfectly justified and quantified.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It seems like running backs use the stiff-arm more like a punch these days.

Brocky

As long as there’s no elevator footage around

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll never understand how that’s a ten-yard penalty for hands to the face when lineman do it to each other, a 15 yard facemask call when a defensive player does it, but a great physical play when an offensive player does it.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s been my problem with it ever since I was a CB in HS.

Redshirt

We’re five years away from a defender being penalized for being Falcon Punched across the field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGfAShzP6C8&pp=ygUdc3VwZXIgc21hc2ggYnJvcyBmYWxjb24gcHVuY2g%3D

ballsofsteelandfury

That means something else in Australia…

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Doktor Zymm

First playoff win in 20 years for WAS and right after flushing the turd of Snyder from Fedex’s leaking sewage system?

As good as an Owl win as far as I’m concerned!

It’s all freeroll from here on out, and getting shellacked in Detroit by a franchise that also managed a dramatic turnaround will be an honor!

Unsurprised

What she said

blaxabbath

Same colors. Same stadium. Same history.

I like Dok.

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2Pack

Thanks Hippo. Napoli won last night and is still precariously on top of the table. Those shoulders sure look happy huh Buddy.

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