Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
A man’s very highest moment is, I have no doubt at all, when he kneels in the dust and beats his breast and tells all the sins of his life [in bed].
Oscar Wilde
I guess you need to confess at some point, might as well be comfortable when you do it.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Whoa whoa whoa, you promised you would bold which of these [AVN Films] you’ve watched….
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Oops! I forgot!
I can confidently tell you I have seen none of them all the way through.
I have seen multiple several minutes at a time…
ballsofsteelandfury
Minutes?
OH HEY ERRYBODY, CHECK OUT THE MARATHON MAN HERE!
Braggart.
LemonJello
That’s a lot of semen.
Thanks, Balls. This had to have taken a lot of work. And electrolytes.
WCS
AI can help maximize productivity & foster new ideas in every industry.
BeefReeferLives
Someone tell Presidente Elon this is best way to get women.
WCS
Hey hatters, pass it on
Doktor Zymm
The Sharkbait clan is officially off to Australia in August!
Sharkbait
Just wanted to thank all yinz for keeping some levity and morale boosts when needed. Sometimes this jorb can be challenging. Dick jokes — at any time or situation — are always appreciated.
I saw (type?) this every now and then, but thanks for keeping me sane (sane for my standard), especially in the past three years.
WCS
Don T
Redshirt
February 4, 2025 8:11 pm
herodotus450
February 4, 2025 7:06 pm
“and turned Ken Anderson into a Hall of Fame considered quarterback”
That’s one of the all-time best backhanded compliments.
ballsofsteelandfury
Who says nothing happens in the offseason? Hi, Seamus! Good luck, you crezzy kids.
Well done, Ballsy, if I can refer to you as that. Not sure if I have proper clearance.
Unrelated note: if I’m found in several, dismembered pieces located through my apartment and elsewhere, princess didn’t finally snap, nor was it one of the kids. My toilet finally had enough, and decided to take vengeance.
WCS
How does one reason with a woman who tries to use a broom to sweep a wet patio?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“One does not reason with the wet patio broom-sweeper, one embraces her tenacity and lives to fight another day.”
-The Art of War, at the very end of the footnotes
scotchnaut
I did like that someone is liking Trumps presidency as a second attempt at the speed run destruction of our country.
ArmedandHammered
Setting aside this whole Constitutional crisis thing for a minute…
The Federal government funds the deficit by selling Treasury securities; T-Bills, T-Notes, and T-Bonds. The T-Bill’s interest rate is determined at the auction at which they’re sold; you can buy a $1000 T-Bill for some amount less, and the $1000 minus what you paid is your interest. These are generally rolled over by big institutions; they want something that will make a little money but is safe. And from what I was told in Finance, the current T-Bill rate is the ‘risk-free rate of return’. Nothing is safer.
Now here comes Musk’s script kiddies. Right now, they’re sticking shit into the Treasury payments system; they’re pushing stuff straight to production. This is fiction, I know, but let’s assume that they’re all on the up-and-up, and are just wanting to ‘improve’ the system. Sooner or later, they’re going to fuck something up; it’s an old, huge system running on old mainframes. Smart people touch stuff like that as little as possible. Sooner or later, probably sooner, something is going to fuck it all up and somebody isn’t going to get paid on time. Or at all.
If I’m that big institution, do I think that 90-day T-Bill is now risk-free? Today mamaw’s Social Security check got disappeared, tomorrow it’s ??? I want a deeper discount to buy that T-Bill, assuming I want to buy it at all. And what does that due to consumer and commercial interest rates? There’s a recipe for an instant recession, right then and there.
BugEyedBoo
Don T
Well, He did create leopards and cheetahs, and can tell their fur apart. So He’s either gay or a Latin woman.
/bows, blows big kiss
Don T
“I died for your sins but those pumps are unforgivable…”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
COBRA!
Redshirt
Ohtani’s gamblor interpreter got just under 5 years.
WORTH IT.
SonOfSpam
What was the over/under on his sentence?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Boom-shaka-laka.
BeefReeferLives
I’m an only child, but I assume it’s pretty nice to be the baby of the family when your older siblings have set such a low bar that as long as you don’t commit any felonies you’re doing great
Doktor Zymm
That was how it was for me. My sister broke my parents in pretty well; by the time I was a senior in high school their main dictate was that I not drive drunk.
(They were not concerned about me getting anyone pregnant)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait
Evening
Brocky
Andy Reid attending Brit’s court appearance, Artist Concept:
Sharkbait
That’s good hustle!
Redshirt
That’s fascinating that Miami Dolphins team doctors are picking up shifts in the emergency room.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
As a Cal alum (law school, but still a fan) and season basketball ticketholder (got them when Jason Kidd was playing, moved away, and then moved back and got them again when Jaylen Brown was playing so not all dogshit, I have been e-mailed some boosterish nonsense on Cal grad Ron Rivera: He is coming back to Cal not as a coach but as “football program advisor” — so maybe NIL guy and reminder to Justin Wilcox (who will never leave for a better job because he ain’t on anyone’s list so only way he leaves is a firin’). Seems like the same gig Hodor just got for Stanford, but Stanford gave him a GM title ‘cuz they’s fancier than Cal.
/This has been your rainy day in the Bay useless football (and basketball) knowledge dump
Downfield Matriculator
“Alas, I recall seeing him across the fields several times. Has it been a decade already? How time passes, but this conflict never ends, dear Mother. The leaves change, and the years go by, but our struggle eternally continues on.
With the deepest love,
Capt. Andrew Luck, D Company, 12th Infantry”
WCS
Redshirt
Hey Beer Guy, this has been a glorious week of hate.
Damn glad to see you back. Excellent work!
Now that I’m home, let’s get after this Friday shit.
yeah right
/a quick peek into Olivia’s house after the news broke
Olivia: “Eli, you ok?”
Eli: [quiet snuffling from under a pillow fort] “I’m…ok.”
Olivia: “I was thinking about making some hot chocolate, but with extra marshmallows. Would you like a cup, maybe?”
Eli: [sniffs] “Maybe. Would you have one with me? Under here?”
Olivia: “Where it’s super safe? Of course. This is a tough time-we can get thru this together.”
Eli: “That Spiderman comic, the one where he beats Rhino. Can you maybe read that to me?”
Olivia: “I sure can.”
Eli: “I like it when he runs into walls. But Spiderman is smarter so he always wins.”
Olivia: “He always wins. Just like you.”
Eli: “Just like me…”
scotchnaut
I wanna give him a hug now, shit.
ArmedandHammered
Admin
February 8, 2025 5:51 pm
God help us all.
Sunday Gravy coming, Yo!
yeah right
2Pack
Owls are space aliens
Doktor Zymm
Reminder, birds aren’t real.
Mr. Ayo
They all live in Wyoming, which also isn’t real
Doktor Zymm
Pour one out for the last coach to win the old NFC Central
Brocky
It’s going to be exciting to see who else besides Dick Jauron is on Ginny McCaskey’s list of servants that have been designated to accompany her to the afterworld.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
scotchnaut
One of the couples coming over for the Cornblower Superb Owl Extravaganza wants to talk to us about doing a vacation together, (cool it, not that way. Besides we’re all old and gross), and we were discussing the Caribbean.
If they show up to your party wearing shirts with pineapples….
ballsofsteelandfury
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
Yeah?
But do you have one of these?
Missing a Cousinfuckers-Team Big Love showdown to sit in a training class to learn about rape- and homicide-related stalking and domestic scenarios.
Like “how to” or what?
I’m not going to try to make a joke out that; this shit’s too dark.
We’re about to start new dispatching computer software and program, so this is the intro to that. Because it’s police related, we’re delving into the real shit that occurs, complete with *plenty* of real, past examples.
It’s a real series of cheery, uplifting topics and discussion.
There. There’s your sarcastic WCS quip.
The Prince of Pittsburgh should not be exposed to that.
Exposed to it? He’s probably committed it, like multiple ti…
Oh, oh that Prince of Pittsburgh. My bad.
I thought we were talking about Rothlisberger.
The Harlem Gospel Choir is doing the anthem at Westminster. WOKE!!!
As usual, SGTDR is a Brick-Free Zone.
Your pictures are funny, but not haha funny.
My meeting went well with the construction defect experts, I think.
Better news, my stupid hardware is being installed by end of month for my big whatever.
I hope 2025 is a big year for acquiring construction materials fabricators and contractors.
But my patent got rejected and spanked pretty hard. Which isn’t a big surprise, though I’d never heard of the existing patents that beat me. i was really hoping to have “patent pending” in my pocket for a little longer though. Just to keep the scardy cats from even starting to try and compete in the first 100 days or so.
Though I’ve realized recently that the strength of my program lies in the contracting party — which most of my industry peers are not (only commodity manufacturing and supply – no service) — so even if the patent did/does hold, this is a 100% market evaluation. Libertarian blax in university fresh out of “War Were Declared” understands this ruthless game 100%. It’s Quidditch with only a seeker and everyone gets to put spells on the Blundgers.
My brother got me this stupid entrepreneur book thing for my birthday and it’s been perfectly relevant to where I’m at. I read it in like two days. And now I feel really free — like even at this construction defect meeting — because I understand everyone’s priorities; their languages; and my bullshit. And I’m finally getting effective at putting my bullshit in their language relevant to their priorities. It’s like, ” seriously, find me 1% liable and we’ve got a nationwide pandemic in our homes and buildings and they’re all going to start falling over and the evidence you’re all relying on is a Mayan Calendar that’s been wrong 6x already. We all look like assholes if this doesn’t stop. And it’s pretty nice when I explain that and go, “I get it — I just don’t get the meetings you have to sit in. I’m the smartest dumb guy. Your professional and pointed approach to conversation is frightening and confusing to me.”
Plus these dudes are all old and, like I keep telling everybody, just do the old people’s work for them and you’ve established your expert predecessors opinion that you can later validate (it’s FoxNews logic). If you don’t, they’re always gonna roll over or hand in whatever template they have. So you get one old guy on your side. You help him vanquish his peer of 30 years because you know excel and, man, you can just take over the whole thing.
Plus I found out one of my project submissions won an award and these old guys like awards so I’m like, “hey! I’m a young you!” Thanks for sharing your 25 year old project award write up. Also gotta be a white guy like us.
Speaking of Australia, I was supposed to take the train from Brisbane to Cairns, which would have been lovely. Unfortunately the tracks are flooded so now I’m going to have to book an extra night’s hotel and take a 6 am flight that was available on points.
And I have to call later today to request the refund. Stupid too much water
Man, how great must it have been for the lawyer to hand that 5 year old a liability waiver when he returned to the arena?
I just scored reservations at Compratir in Barcelona on my birthday in October. Getting a res for Disfrutar is a 2 year almost impossible effort but these are the same 3 chefs who all worked at El Bulli together. They own both places. Compratir sounds a lot more casual and is based around tapas and sharing plates. It’s rated as perfect for solo diners and holy shit am I jazzed about this.
Gonna drop a bundle but there WILL be photos!
Just photos? Do a whole post!
What’s the best dining experience you’ve ever had? And what was the approx per/head cost?
Formal. Not this, “oh man this pho place is the best and it’s no frills at all!”
Outback Steakhouse; get the Bloomin’ Onion for dessert and you’ve achieved fine dining status.
When we lived in Scotland, there was a tiny Spanish restaurant next door- like maybe 8 tables. The guy who was the chef/ owner was a drinking buddy of ours, so we went there at least once a month, even tho we were but a poor squid family. It was pricey, but Santana always gave us the friends and family discount. I’ve been to fancier/more expensive places, but none better.
El Haggito
Dinner with youngest right when we used to share a birthday dinner. It was on one of the top floors in Bellevue Washington with views of Seattle and Puget Sound.
We had Fresh local oysters, Sushi that was insane, A5 Wagyu steaks and paired various wines and beers as we went.
Here it is!
https://ascendprime.com/
This was a beauty too. Michelin starred and right here in LA.
https://www.osteriamozza.com/location/los-angeles-osteria-mozza/
Always wanted to check that place out. So it’s worth it?
My god. Don’t even order an entree. Just sit at the bar and eat bread charcuterie and cheese. Their burrata made me feel tingly all over.
They also do the raviolo with the perfectly cooked soft egg.
Damn!
Blue Heaven in Key West.
Sitting under an enormous Spanish plum tree with chickens running around your feet and a fantastic piece of fish.
Close second was having breakfast at the crepes place across the street and listening to the crew tell each other how much all the rest of them sucked.
The Dodgers can collect all the international all-stars they want, but the Angels just signed 37 year old Kenley Jansen, so take that mfers!
I’m absolutely going to do my best to get to an AFL game while I’m in Australia
I have lots of recs for you
Found a funny:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cmSPwZIZu6Y
It’s like a I Think YOu Should Leave sketch but a MOVIE!
I Love You Man but for SICKOS!!!
Conor OMalley & Paul Rudd?? OMG!!
Hahahaha!
Good job GTD.
[intentionally reads the “G” as an “R”]
Why thank you, you’re too kind!
RTD was the old bus system in LA.
It’s also the current one in Denver:
https://www.rtd-denver.com/
FTD is a florist, people forget that daily.
like anyone has ever seen RTD and GTD in the same room at the same time
“I do that all the time, too!”
-Lea Michelle
Always.
Thanks for the recap Buddy. Be well everyone.
Watching the second season of Solo Leveling, been up since 4:20 a.m. (how appropriate). This show rocks! as a certain anthromorphic pooch would say.
And as everybody has been saying, great job, your stuff helps me get my Tuesdays going properly.
Raisin bran and coffee do that for me.
Checking the sneak preview of the grocery store flyer from Vons is my jam.
Ooh, jam’s on sale!