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Competitive Dart Tossing* – NFL Draft Day Three Thread

King Hippo

/

There is also various Lesser Footy, but Hippo likely be the only fool deliberately waking up at 7:30 EST for Chelski/Toffees (USA).  It’s all about sucking the Redshite’s collective cock, and I ain’t got no time for that nonsense.

But really, it’s Rounds 4-7 of the Draft.   Assuming I stay awake long enough, my general musing after Day Two can be found below.  Otherwise?  #ShrugEmoji

[HIPPO THINKINGS – Decided before 7p, even – Not.  Fookin’.  Arsed.]

I do think it would creative and humoUroUs for Yinzbergh to trade, say, 2026’s 2nd round pick to the Humps for Anthony Richardson.  He could likely manage to run an Arthur Smith offense, while he tries to master the art of quartered backery.  Or not, it’s just waaaayyyyyyyy better an idea than touching Q-aron with a 40-foot pole.

In case I don’t get around to Draft thinkenings, here is some nonsense.  I have started wondering why we haven’t seen arenas/stadia/franchises named after things other than real-life companies and/or personages.  For example, NC State’s basketball place.  Supposedly, the sponsoUrship was back up for bid.  Why the fuck couldn’t some enterprising software millionaire pay to enshrine Wu-Tang Financial Arena?  We could have Diversify Yo’ Bonnnnnnddddssss Night and everything!  Embrace the chaos, take a fucking chance why dontcha.  We need to buy some better hoopsball enthusiasts.

*and seriously – the Brits actually DO watch darts as a competitive sport.  What a strange fucking people, Maestro should maybe write about that one day smgdh.

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scotchnaut

Jerrah making a 7th round pick and all the sycophants around him clapping like their jobs depend on it.

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King Hippo

Probably can swap in “because” for “like” there

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Doktor Zymm

LOL, they killed the mystery writer with the Golden Pickaxe statuette for best mystery writer

1
Doktor Zymm

Oh there is lots of good stuff in this show. The lady mystery writer who just made a comeback after being washed up caused a disturbance at a pub called ‘The Embittered Hack’

2
Doktor Zymm

And the rock and roll aunt (who is also a mystery writer) hasn’t been able to smell anything since 1984

1
herodotus450

So it’s a remake of Murder, She Wrote?

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Doktor Zymm

I would say loving parody of a variety of sources

There’s also a bunch of Poe references, and some Agatha Christie, some Ian Rankin, and probably a bunch I’m missing

Last edited 11 months ago by Doktor Zymm
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2Pack

Golly 2Pack… Yer not in Italy anymore.
Time zoned like a mofo. Gonna inhale this ribeye and grilled shrimp and then bag folks.

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Doktor Zymm

That buffalo has a nice little hat!

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Gatoraids

Jetlag sure sure and we only see the Long Island promos

2
Gumbygirl

Goodnight, sweet prince!

0
yeah right

Welcome back?

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Gatoraids

Ewers taking his taxidermies to south beach

1
Doktor Zymm

Was going to try and do some chores around the house, but then I discovered that the neighbor’s sink/garbage disposal decided to back up into my sink while I was out horseback riding. They had pasta with tomato sauce leftovers recently it seems. I scooped out the chunks and sprayed down the sink with cleaning goo and something about the combination of cleaning fumes and discarded tomato sauce smell set me off dry heaving for a couple minutes so I’ve given up on the chores. Gonna have a beer and try watching this ‘Queens of Mystery’ show on PBS instead.

4
2Pack

Sounds like your unit has a main line issue. Any diaper or maxi pad abusing types nearby?

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Doktor Zymm

Probably, the apartment complex occasionally has to send out notices about such things

2
scotchnaut

“This problem could have been easily avoided if you had just not gone out horseback riding.”

-the NEW AND IMPROVED Department of Housing And Urban Development

4
Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys fan reacting to the latest pick, (a DT out of UCLA)

“That’s a pretty fat WR”

3
Horatio Cornblower

Next year, when they’re doing all these draft announcements using fans from other sites, they really should do a Raiders pick from a maximum security prison.

5
scotchnaut

You sweet summer child-they will likely be on lockdown!

2
blaxabbath

Is Shadeur Sanders the new Brady Quinn?

1
Gumbygirl

I don’t know what the fuck happened, but my last comment has a mile of code in it. It’s awaiting approval, can somebody delete it?

1
yeah right

I got you.

Woof. That was something alright.

2
Gumbygirl

I know, crazy!

1
Horatio Cornblower

And Hippo gets that punter he’s been wanting!!

2
King Hippo

In all seriousness, I had read that they might take one late. I issued a challenge to my laptop, out loud (as one DOES) – take a punter, c’mon. You know ya wanna.

2
Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh great, another one of those fucking ‘No Farms No Food’ weirdos.

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King Hippo

This is wha’ happen when society looks down on kink shaming!!!

5
Brocky

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BeefReeferLives

Yup. Rex has a vacation home in Maine, apparently..

2
WCS

His other vehicle’s plate, “HTFYDB”

HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN BOYS”

6
Dunstan

With a “LET’S GET SOME FUCKING SNACKS” bumper sticker

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Dunstan

Don’t know if any of you saw it, but last night the Ice Rams’ coach made a challenge so bad that even Lovie Smith was probably cringing. In a tie game, he handed the Oilers a power play, they scored, and suddenly they’re back in the series.

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Redshirt

Damned Browns…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gumbygirl

Has there ever been a ham actor hammier than that ham?

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Dunstan

Brian Blessed?

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BeefReeferLives

“When the phone call ended, Sanders headed back inside the house to officially hear his name be called. The reaction was priceless and a clear sign of relief for everyone in Sanders’ inner circle.”

Almost feel sorry for him. Just imagine being relieved at being drafted by the fucking Browns…

https://coloradobuffaloeswire.usatoday.com/story/sports/college/buffaloes/football/2025/04/26/shedeur-sanders-relieved-after-being-drafted-by-cleveland-browns/83295628007/

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ArmedandHammered

If you have not seen Sinners yet, I highly suggest you do. Great action, world building, vamps and the klan getting killed, Irish vampire dancing a jig, it got it all.

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Horatio Cornblower

You had me at “the klan getting killed”

4
Dunstan

Girlfriend is off at the Clippers game today, so I’m planning a leisurely afternoon of chili making and day drinking.

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scotchnaut

You’re living my perfect day. But I’m quite sure my wife would object.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds much more pleasant than the two hours I just spent cleaning the bathroom shelves.

2
Dunstan

Isn’t there a vacuum attachment that reaches those shelves?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why I said bathroom shelves I meant garage shelves.

The vacuum attachment I’d use, actually, isn’t available because I need to wash the grease off it because I used it on the top of the fridge earlier.

1
BeefReeferLives

Using any interesting ingredients for the chili?

1
Dunstan

Starting with homemade chili paste — just toasted a bunch of chilies and gave myself smoke inhalation, but managed not to set off the smoke alarm, so call it a draw. They’re simmering in some chicken stock now and will get blended up into the paste shortly. Got the idea from J. Kenji Lopez-Alt. Leftover paste gets frozen and saved for future batches.

This is going to be an all-meat chili. Usually I like beans, but girlfriend doesn’t so it’s going to be just short ribs and oxtail. Some umami boosters like anchovies, marmite, soy sauce, but otherwise the basics of onion, cumin, crushed tomatoes.

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WCS

comment image%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D126c4494447a04d2c50e39cc645960c313a4ebde

Reddit links don’t always post. Fingers crossed.

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scotchnaut

Pittsburgh, living in the past, drafts a pocket QB.

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Redshirt

…and continue their tradition of taking my favorite Buckeyes.

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scotchnaut

“Favorite Buckeyes” is an oxymoron.

1
Redshirt

You say that now, but when Howard and Sawyer are hoisting the Lombardi, you’ll be drunkenly singing “Carmen Ohio”.

1
ArmedandHammered

Unless you mean to punch.

1
WCS

Tomlin got his quarterback, after all.

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(no, not that kind of “happy ending,” Mr. Kraft)

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t do anything special with these carnitas – just some bone-in pork shoulder strips with a bit of salt and mexican seasoning cooked in the pressure cooker – but goddamn if they aren’t one of the best things I’ve made in, like, ever.

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Gatoraids

something to be said for letting the meat speak for itself at times

3
yeah right

Did you baste them then put them under the broiler for a couple of minutes to get crispy? That’s the baller move.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did that the first night I cooked them and they were great, but today I was lazy and just fried them up in the pan a little and they were almost just as good.

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yeah right

Such a wonderful cut of meat.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re on sale at Vons right now for $1.99/lb.

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yeah right

Duly noted.

1
yeah right

Back from the eye doctor.

Gotta admit, I was a little nervous about this visit.

My vision has gotten pretty fucking shitty and I’m fully cognizant of that. I was really worried about cataracts and such possibly fucking with my fall trip to Barcelona.

Turns out my vision has gotten worse because I’m fucking 63 years old but all I needed were new glasses.

Plus my blood pressure was 120/66.

I’m doing tip fucking top! So I treated myself to new glasses with Gucci frames.

Doctor said to keep doing what you’re doing!

It’s beer thirty! Doctors orders!

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scotchnaut

There’s a dude on a Giants site with the handle, DanielJonestownMassacre. Jesus Christ that’s funny!

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to make friends with this person.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Wow, Wrexham are going up again. Gutter to the Championship in three seasons.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is JSD here to give the Cleveland perspective on their new less handsy QB?

2
Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys swapping with San Francisco to move up in the 5th round.

Finally, those hot trades Ol’ Double J promised are about to break!!

3
Horatio Cornblower

Rece Davis seems to have had about enough of Kiper’s shit.

“No one in the NFL knows how to evaluate QBs!” yells the guy who loved Jimmy Clausen and Brady Quinn.

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Horatio Cornblower

Sanders to the Factory of Sadness!!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

NOW REHIRE HUE JACKSON AS HEAD COACH! COME ON, HASLAM, DO IT!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Of COURSE it’s Cleveland.

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Gumbygirl

FUCK! He’s going to suck, except against the Steelers. He’ll go full Tebow on them, out of spite. Goddammit. Fucking Brownies!

5
Dunstan

Never go full Tebow!

3
Mr. Ayo

And they traded up for him? What the hell. #ThePauls

2
Redshirt

Cleveland’? Hasn’t Shadeur suffered enough?!

3
Jimbo

NFL network is saying he has point guard ability, is he playing for the Cavs too.

1
Gatoraids

yeah not sure who to laugh at the most, fuck the Browns for ruining the fun

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Jimbo

– fuck the Browns. Stephen Miller

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ArmedandHammered

You know what the saddest thing is, by now he is happy to even have Cleveland pick him.

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scotchnaut

Giants got Sk8erboi!

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Horatio Cornblower

Shedur Sanders is the next Warren Moon, in that he is going to absolutely tear up the CFL.

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scotchnaut

I made a joke elsewhere about the Argonauts trading up in the 7th round to get him.

3
WCS

The next starting quarterback for the UFL’s Memphis Showboats!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m starting to think that bitcoin is never going to actually crash, because in order for it to crash all the rich people who parked money there would need to cash out – i.e. they would need the money for some reason. But they control the U.S. treasury, so if they ever actually need money they’ll just get it from there instead.

3
Senor Weaselo

Fuck it, we need to bring back the tulip market.

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King Hippo

Donks grab a man with the Christian name of “Que” and That’s Rikki’s Raiders one up us by drafting Tonka Hemingway.

3
Jimbo

.

Screenshot-2025-04-26-at-11.10.51 AM
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King Hippo

Trying to put off naptime until after Donks (WOO-ish) pick. It will be a rando with a 6th-round grade, but STILL.

0
yeah right

One of the few good things about my health care provider is they offer vision services along with medical.

I’m at the eye doctor office now for the first time in 5 years.

One of the many shitty things about the same provider is my appointment is for 9:55 and it’s now 10:07 and I’m still sitting here like an asshole.

Be on time motherfuckers!

3
King Hippo

Perhaps the biggest annoyance I had with parenting was how goddamned hard it made me to be on time, regardless of preparation and motivation.

I absolutely HATE being late, maybe my only trait that would have been military-suitable

4
Gumbygirl

Me too.

0
Redshirt

Now the conversation is Shadeur Sanders suing to return to college for his final year of eligibility.

We’ve gone Plaid!

2
Gatoraids

at this point the NIL would pay better

2
Redshirt

I don’t think after this. This is the football equivalent of dropping out of the primaries in August.

3
Gatoraids

Please draft.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The ESPN crew, when gushing about one of the picks’ character, described him as a “future President of the United States of America” and my first thought was “wait, he sexually assaults women?”

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
7
Doktor Zymm

Not JUST women!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Raiders somehow managed to Nightmare on Elm Street their way into Balls’ dreams to find a presenter for their fourth round pick:

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2
Dunstan

This is probably old news to many of you, but apparently there’s a company called Public Square that is a sort of branding/search engine for businesses that believe in “Life, Family, and Liberty,” if you know what I mean and I think you do (Donald Trump Jr. is on the board).

I’m now searching local business listings to see who’s signed up for them. Nice of them to let me know that they don’t want my patronage! Fortunately, most of them I’ve never heard of, though there was a nearby restaurant I used to like.

2
Dunstan

Ooh, found a bail bonds company! I guess they’re really taking that “liberty” thing seriously. Probably comes in handy when you’re arrested for storming Congress.

3
King Hippo

Humanity just can’t die out fast enough.

1
scotchnaut

That lamb must be really sore by now.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some dude on reddit mentioned he used to dogsit for Coach Reid and I’m thinking it must have been such a revelation for the animal to finally such a thing as “table scraps”.

3
Dunstan

Andy’s dogs usually subsist on a diet of 100% already picked-clean rib bones.

1
litre_cola

Yes!!!!! Sess!!!!!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I simply cannot shake this illness I picked up (still coughing “productively”) and I’m supposed to be traveling in four days. I need to get healthy, damnit!

2
King Hippo

Remember the “no dying” rule, muthafucka!

3
litre_cola

Or else gametimedecision will want to be co-comissioner in fear of you dying.

2
litre_cola

You fucking soft fucks. Just because Adama is built like a brick shithouse and you cunts are soft should not dictate fouls. Fucking hell

1
Gatoraids

So say we all

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3
Doktor Zymm

Reading about the ice footy champeenship this morning came across a gem of sprots journolism: “The Panthers are building a collection of deeply annoying talent. “

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[quietly wonders if they are also in the market for a deeply annoying quartebacks coach] – Olivia Manning

1
Doktor Zymm

Ice Panthers, but that would be an interesting experiment

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The funny thing about naming rights is that they can actually legitimize things – Crypto.com arena being a perfect example. So I’m a bit surprised that RFQ hasn’t used half of HHS’s budget to buy up the rights for “Vaccines Cause Autism Arena”.

4
Senor Weaselo

That will be the new name of the arena in Seattle.

0
blaxabbath

I wonder what it is like to be in Sanders’ place right now? I know the press/media doesn’t bother him — but this is like brass tacks, no one wants you.

Then again, I also hope to see him get called and his response is to walk up, yank away the jersey, and scold the team for costing him two days with the playbook already. #Legendary

3
Doktor Zymm

I feel kinda bad for any kid who slides without any really horrible off the field stuff going on. At least his family doesn’t need the money

2
Don T

I think the Geno Smith pouting after his 1st round draft. Combined with that Miss Universe / Steve Harvey the winner is you—WAIT, no sorry, it’s the other country.

Shedeur is that, but with 100% enjoyment for all who hate substance-free media whores.

2
yeah right

For me it’s more like the Lonzo Ball situation.

Dad is too much baggage and nobody wants the package deal.

It almost is starting to feel like assisted suicide.

5
litre_cola

Just fucking embarassing. What a fucking joke this team is. You beat fucking Liverpool and yet you will lose twice to this absolute disgrace of a team. Fuck everything

0
blaxabbath

Comprehensive.

1
litre_cola

My rage will continue through to the Cavalry FC game at 3.

0
blaxabbath

blaxito’s little league is doing the on-field parade at the Dbacks game on Sunday so we’re going to that.

I’m also gonna hit up the team shop and make sure there is no Dbacks gay pride stuff still for sales. Our star player is Corbin Carroll, not Carol Corbin! Maybe get a Wetzel Pretzel.

5
litre_cola

Get a Sonora Dog while you are there. Delicious.

2
Doktor Zymm

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If it tastes bad you should hurl it on the field and scream that now it’s a Jetzel Pretzel.

2
King Hippo

I had forgotten that FA Cup semis were this weekend. Not particularly arsed, but might put it on in the background.

1
Mr. Ayo

Catch the excitement! It’s starting now, btw.

0
Fronkenshteen

Alec Baldwin went to Berner H.S. in Massapequa, NY, by the way. All he has to do is release a public statement saying “This is wonderful news. So happy we get to keep the school names because of trump.” and attach a picture of his football team photo from yearbook split-screened with him in his obnoxious SNL trump get-up. Boom. Issue dead.

2
Brick Meathook

Is that the same guy who doesn’t know how to handle a pistol?

4
Fronkenshteen

“No!”

[stares daggers]

-Halyna Hutchens

1
Dunstan

“Eeet was not his fault! He didn’t know it was, how do you say, … ‘loaded’?” — Hilaria Baldwin

1
Fronkenshteen

Shaduer Sanders and the ESPN network are more like variables in a mathematical equation than human beings creating observable, relatable behavior at this point. Easier to predict, too. But no less ridiculous and pathetic.

4
WCS

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/44856426/derrick-harmon-mother-died-steelers-drafted-son

I honestly thought this was an Onion-style article. Oh my goodness…

4
Doktor Zymm

Strokes are scary stuff, I hope she was able to see her kid make it before she passed

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of Raiders picks had a brother who died in the Sugar Bowl terrorist attack. But it’s not something you can laugh about, like you can with the death of the brother of the main character on Suits LA.

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