Subsequent GTD reflections

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Hey, I know this has been a tough quarter. I’m gonna see about rustling you up some special perks. That sound good [in bed]?
Seth Milchick

Strange that my work doesn’t have anything like this, in or out of bed. I’m not sure the last time I talked to my manager, so not getting anything given to me. I guess my perk is working remote and not having to, like, people.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Funny, I assumed this was all hot weather cocktails because I am sweaty and also don’t listen to Horatio. Taking my favorite cocktail of all time, the Vieux Carre.

3/4 oz rye
3/4 oz cognac
3/4 oz sweet vermouth (strong preference for carpano antica)
1/4 oz Benedictine
2 dashes peychauds
2 dashes ango

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I feel like not listening to Horatio is a draft tradition at this point
Doktor Zymm

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Ciao tutti

2Pack

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I know it’s a hack job, but at least I mentioned a sports adjacent event and made a dick joke so 2 contractual requirements were met.
ArmedandHammered

Wait, we have contracts?!?

ballsofsteelandfury

We have standards?
Horatio Cornblower

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Some days there aren’t enough punches to throw at every motherfucker who deserves one.
jjfozz

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Think about it

Doktor Zymm

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Don T

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I guess this was a bridge too far.

“ he paid for Uber rides, meals and recovery services for his players last season.”
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2025/jul/14/former-nfl-qb-bridgewater-suspended-from-high-school-coaching-job
Jimbo

Seems like a good dude

ballsofsteelandfury

Totally. I hope Teddy learned his lesson and remembers to launder the money through a nonprofit booster organization next time.


/this is not a joke, I genuinely mean this
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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/ sets up table and lawn chair
// scribbles on sign
/// hangs sign over table

The best music to come out of the 90s was techno/house/rave/EDM/drumnbass/garage/whatever you want to call it. Prove me wrong.
ballsofsteelandfury

Hmmm, different strokes for different folks .

Jimbo

– sign in the employee break room at Orchids of Asia day spa
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Not sure if I buy all of this

DJ TAJ

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Microsoft Copilot A.I. is wrong. I have no presence on Pinterest.

Brick Meathook

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The shrinkflation on Eggo waffles is unacceptable.
litre_cola

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Don T

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It’s been nice knowing y’all. I ordered a bunch of Cheezies off the internet and now I’m going to happily die of salt poisoning.

Doktor Zymm

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Good news: Tampa City is bringing back the away Creamsicles.

Bad news: Leaving San Diego is now the 2nd worst thing the Chargers have done.

Redshirt

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Man, fuck that dude[Pete Rose]. Wherever he’s buried, it should be legal by ordinance to shit on his grave.

And this is why he’s the only Reverend I listen to
SonOfSpam

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My Balls relevant contribution here today…

2Pack

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/watching The Cut-Throats (1971)

Movie: [opens with a guy roping a tree stump]

Me: “Ok, it’s a Western.”

Movie: [A guy in an Union Army uni assaults a woman]

Me: “Ok, it’s a Civil War western.”

Movie: [soldiers in American WW2 uniforms happen upon the assault and a gun battle ensues]

Me: “Wait. What?”

Movie: [segues to a building with a large swastika on it]

Me: “Ok, it’s a WW2 movie but that first part…?”

Movie: [a Nazi guard on patrol at night is shot in the back…with an arrow]

Me: “Oh, c’mon-you’re just fucking with me now!”
scotchnaut

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I didn’t fuck it up!

Yet. Still have to move it to a shelf.
Mr. Ayo


Also, fun fact. The fourth stack in the rear wasn’t used. The designers added it for aesthetic reasons.
Mr. Ayo


“A cylindrical opening at the back end that isn’t being used for anything? Oh, that’s awful.” – Balls, shaking his head sadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Lowratio really gets around

Doktor Zymm

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Shockingly for a DFOer, I don’t actually watch a lot of NFL football in recent years, so it’s particularly weird that I had a football dream last night.

I was playing on the kick return team for the Miami Dolphins. Not as the primary returner, because even in my dreams I’m not a skill player. The opponents, who were probably the Belichek-led Patriots, scored late in the first half, and kicked off a squib kick that bounced to me. I picked up a couple of good blocks, and made it right to the goal line before being tackled, because again, even in my dreams I’m not a sports hero.

Fortunately, there was still 0.1 seconds left on the clock, 1st and goal from the 1-foot line, we can kick a field goal or even gamble on the TD if we’re feeling frisky. Except — I look around and my teammates, and the entire Miami sideline, are gone. Somehow they thought that time had expired, and went off to the locker room. Because even in my dreams, the Dolphins are incompetent and let me down.

So I’m there yelling in the vain hopes that someone in the tunnel will hear me, yelling at the officials that this is their fault for not communicating to the sideline that there was time left, and trying to figure out what happens next. If we take a delay of game penalty, is there a runoff and time expires, or do we just get backed up and maybe my idiot teammates will return before the repeated penalties take us out of field goal range? Or is there some rule that of course Belichek has memorized that there’s a loss of down, and eventually we’ll turn the ball over on downs and I’ll get plowed into the ground while 11 Pats run down the field for an uncontested TD. Fucking Belichek. That’s when I woke up.
Dunstan

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Okay, I guess I’ll watch “A Good Day to Die Hard” until Late Show starts. See how bad it really is.
Redshirt

The one with Tim Olyphant and Uncle Jack from Always Sunny as the villains is pretty good.


I never saw the one where McClain’s son joins him. It shall continue that way in perpetuity.

WCS

I’ve been watching it for about 25 minutes. When it starts, I’ll let you know.

Redshirt

Die Hard: Die Hard in an Office Building
Die Hard 2: Die Hard in an Airport
Die Hard 3: Die Hard in New York City
Die Hard 4: Die Hard All Around DC, Maryland and Virginia
Die Hard 5: Someone took a 30 second pitch and expanded it into a 98-minute movie that forgot to include what makes Die Hard Die Hard.
Redshirt

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Just gonna leave this here

Alex_Demote

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Hey everybody! Just wanted to wish you all that every day be another wonderful secret! Because that’s a normal thing to say.
Dunstan

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Omg

rockingdog

Update: can’t believe jd vance just called for the wsj to release the letter


Bold strategy cotton!

rockingdog

VP may know something. Either he’s calling their bluff or he’s ordering movers for next month when a crying, piss-stained Trump is dragged out of 1600 Pennsylvania.

Redshirt

VP wants the letter public so he can read it naked on the couch.
SonOfSpam

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Oops.

Redshirt

Coldplay's Chris Martin accidentally exposes astronomer CEO Andy Byron having an affair with his HR chief Kristin Cabot.

— Pop Crave (@popcrave.com) 2025-07-17T13:59:17.106Z

rockingdog

To follow up…I have zero sympathy for either of them.

— Jax (the original) (@jacqueline321.bsky.social) 2025-07-17T23:11:19.984Z

A private moment. In a stadium. With 55,000 other people there. Bruh.

Sharkbait

To be fair, he brought it on himself. He went to see fucking Coldplay!

ballsofsteelandfury

That alone should be grounds for both divorce and being thrown out of your board of directors
Redshirt

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3 straight 10 hour work days. I’m taking this advice today-except I have to come back Monday.

Jimbo

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I love the Request Line process where I have no idea what I’m going to do for a sketch, and then less than an hour before press time I get an idea that I really love. Apologies in advance if it’s late today, but stay tuned!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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They’re repaving our road. Today they’re directly in front of Casa de Cornblower. Today is also the first day in a week with no humidity, and fuck everything we have windows and doors open.

Me, pictured:

Horatio Cornblower

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Um Decilitre just decanted and poured wine for the table. Great dad moment?
litre_cola

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VERY IMPORTANT NORTHERN ONTARIO NEWS UPDATE:

-A Walmart cashier gave me a prolonged up and down review while I was third in line.

I have some theories-

1-I just had a haircut so I was looking really sharp

2-shoplifting-she thought I was lifting something

3-I was purchasing pickled onions-who buys pickled onions?

4-she could tell that I was from northern Northern Ontario and she thought I would try to pay in shiny rocks
scotchnaut

5) You were covered in hobo blood and were still brandishing the knife
SonOfSpam

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That has to be one of the dumbest red cards that I have ever seen. What the hell was the Kraut thinking???
litre_cola

As one might suspect, German foreplay is not exactly a subtle art.
scotchnaut

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I deciphered the hieroglyphics, and assembled that fucking cabinet that has been kicking my ass!

Gumbygirl

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Mowing the lawn this afternoon I took a white-face Hornet sting to the temple. Goddamn do those little bastards hurt.

Can’t imagine what anyone driving by thought, seeing a lunatic driving a riding lawnmower in circles while screaming vulgarities and swinging a baseball cap at a winged demon.
Horatio Cornblower

That sounds really painful.


Mowing your own lawn, geez.

SonOfSpam

Never heard of this little bastard before. Off to Wikipedia…


It is taxonomically an aerial yellowjacket but is known by many colloquial names, primarily bald-faced hornet, but also including bald-faced aerial yellowjacket, bald-faced wasp, bald hornet, white-faced hornet, blackjacket, white-tailed hornet, spruce wasp, and bull wasp.


Motherfucker has more aliases than Sean Combs.


Looks like they haven’t made their way here yet.

SonOfSpam

90% of the time you can stand right outside the nest and they won’t bother you as long as you don’t bother them, but if they perceive you as a threat look out. Those motherfuckes will come out en masse, they can sting repeatedly, and it hurts like hell.


Bravest thing I’ve ever done was charge into a swarm of them when my first dog had pulled his line into a bush that had a nest in it, resulting in them attacking him.


Got the dog off his line and into the house and took multiple stings myself. Fuck did that hurt.


Then my Dad went out and nuked their nest to hell and back.

Horatio Cornblower

Good on you for helping the dog; that earns you a beer next time I’m in Connecticut.

Speaking of which, it’s quarter to nine here and I’ve had no beers yet. Rectifying that after I hit Post Comment.
SonOfSpam

Beer in hand.
Lookit this little bastard!

SonOfSpam

They make enormous nests, too.


One year, after a couple of frosts, I brought one in from one of our bushes, intending to cut it open and get a look at the inner workings.


And that’s when we learned that, while the drones all die when it gets cold, the queen, roughly the size of your thumb, hibernates in the otherwise empty nest, waiting for warmer weather, or for some absolute dipshit to bring the nest into a warm kitchen, before reemerging to go start a new colony.


Mrs. Horatio didn’t find this information nearly as fascinating as I did.
Horatio Cornblower

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UPDATE: I threw the ten year-old jar of molasses out (it was actually 12+ years old). Let’s see if the Dr. Mrs.’ sixth sense activates and she asks me where it went.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Phone: (chimes)
Me: (looks at phone)
Phone: “BREAKING NEWS: Bengals sign…”
Me: (excitedly unlocks phone)
Phone: “…QB Desmond Ridder.”
Wall: (phone deeply embedded in drywall)
Me: (muttering) “Probably a little better than Woodside, I guess.”
Redshirt

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Evening. I peed at the top of the Eiffel Tower today.

Not off of it, there’s a bathroom up there. But still pretty cool.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Yeah, they should go back to Washington Football Team or Washington Team Football, the WTFs!.
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/president-trump-wants-commanders-to-immediately-return-to-former-name
Jimbo

He’s just trying to get people to talk about something other than the fact that he paid to have sex with children.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One second, thought, I shouldn’t recklessly speculate. There’s no evidence that he actually paid for the privilege of having sex with those children.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Sorry… But it’s kinda hard to enjoy National Moon day and National Space Exploration day after all the turmoil this week…

2Pack

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Found a funny:

🍔

rockingdog

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I just read through all of the comments in the Sunday Gravy thread. In honor of National Moon Day, may I present an image from Slapshot. This part was filmed in my hometown, the building in the background is the library

Gumbygirl

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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