Your Spit-Free (I hope) Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Hawking loogies seems to be a popular thing these days. Who knew?

To The Game!

Ravens/Bills:

-“Oh, Hi Mark!” Do you think Baltimorons have forgiven Andrews for his critical dropsy last time these two met? “No!” is probably the answer. What about that fumble? “NO!” once again, I’m sure.

-This is the fifth time that the last two MVP’s have met in a season opener. There’s a silly factoid for you and no, I don’t know who were the last combatants.

-The Bills are headed to their sixth straight division title this year. Has it really been that long since the Pats were relevant? Time flies when you’re having fun/not getting New England shoved down your throat.

-Allen has a 3-2 record vs the Ravens with 6 TD’s and a 91-157 completion record.

-Buffalo will be without difference-makers Tyler Bass and cb Tre’Davious White. Look for Lamar to pick on sixth round pick Dorian Strong who will likely take the latter’s place in the secondary.

-The Ravens will be lacking fullback (fullback?) Pat Ricard and their other tight end Isaiah Likely.

That’s it for me, I think this game speaks for itself.

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Unsurprised

Automatic gif optimization pays off for this one.

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Unsurprised

From Reddit:

The Ravens tonight are the first team to lose a game with 40+ points and 235+ rushing yards

Bungles: Hold our chili …

Unsurprised

Khakis full of shit

rnpa3mh6nvnf1
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Redhead bonus for the night owls: https://postimg.cc/gallery/Zz07MQZ9

Unsurprised

I couldn’t get the video download to work to make this in GIF Brewery. 🙁

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Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
rockingdog

Last funny:

our beloved king’s deteriorating body and disturbing mental lapses are simply an indicator of how often he now leaves the physical plane to commune with god. it’s a sign of great strength

WCS

AKA what Trump supporters tell themselves four or five times every hour.

Unsurprised

I like the current banner quote, although I would bet many Fat Humps are incredibly picky about their women bec …

Aw, I’m just going to enjoy the joke.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My word it was fun to read this thread in reverse.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

All things are possible through Josh Allen…

Unsurprised

Except one thing.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Give it time

Unsurprised

Infinity technically is a measurement of time.

Redshirt

We’re following this game with Vikings-Bears for MNF? That’s like ending a rock concert with a PowerPoint presentation.

Unsurprised

How did Baltimore los … OH. Right. It’s Baltimore.

jjfozz

We are teh best at beating ourselves. Every goddamn time.

jjfozz

Just checking in . . . fuck the world and fuck Harbs for being a bitch ass pussy cocksucker for punting on 4 and 3. Jesus Christ. I fucking hate football.

Doktor Zymm

I’m sure that despite his overall stellar game, Henry blames himself for the loss and will train even harder now to get 40+ fantasy points in every future game and also ascend to the ranks of the Magi

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised

I’m watching the Key Plays and as soon as Derrick Henry’s first TD began Amazon Music began playing Neutron Dance on my phone.

Following by 49-yard run by Henry

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And LAMAAAAARRRR TD

This would be a lot cooler if they won.

fleshwound_NPG

flacco’s ELITE playoff run keeping john harbaugh safe has an expiration date: january 2026

fleshwound_NPG

enjoy the miami sunshine next year, john

WCS

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Col. Duke LaCross

The next closest team HAS to be the Bears, right?

jjfozz

I can’t believe he is still our head coach. This fucking dipshit has fucking lost more fucking games because his fucking head is so far up his ass he can see daylight.

Sharkbait

I think we all need a cigarette after that game

Horatio Cornblower

“or a 4th beer!”

/I’m getting me some water and a book.

Sharkbait

I have some rye to finish

Gumbygirl

Definitely more mediocre wine.

2Pack

Its been a great start to the season. Cant wait for Hippos take on it all. Ciao tutti.

Horatio Cornblower

Buddy, Hippo went to bed 3 hours ago.

2Pack

well his ghost writer then…

Unsurprised

Non-union Mexican equivalent.

/Sideeye

Redshirt

Rey Hippo

fleshwound_NPG

SCORIGAMI!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

???

fleshwound_NPG

did ai take over the scorigami site

bafkreid5ucdrjwds4qm2c4rsan5tc3bdktj5qo7zx6s4zartoerife24xa
Mr. Ayo

Oh for fucks sake

Unsurprised

You mean I fucking missed a GOOD game!?!?! God Fucking Damn It!

Doktor Zymm

Ratbirds have the shittiest luck on openers, wow and congrats to the buffalini!

Redshirt

Well, after this game the rest of the 2025 season is going to be boring as all hell.

Doktor Zymm

That was playoff quality right there

ballsofsteelandfury

I guess that’s why Baltimore lost

Unsurprised

Jesus, dude.

Gatoraids

This is most depressing story involving a Raven

Horatio Cornblower

Poor Lenore

Gatoraids

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lamar

Unsurprised

Banner

ballsofsteelandfury

Redshirt: FIRST PLACE! FIRST PLACE!!

Redshirt

If it is or ever was Brown, FLUSH IT DOWN!

Gumbygirl

Wow, what a fucking game.

Unsurprised

Holy shit. Bills actually win on a FG!

Unsurprised

This is Bundy Luck. Winning today on a FG will definitely not come back and bite them in the asses in the playoffs.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
WCS

EAT ALL THE SHIT RATBIRDS

BeefReeferLives

Woo!

Redshirt

If this upcoming field goal attempt goes Wide Right…

Horatio Cornblower

Well, it’s never gone bad for Buffalo before with a late FG…

Doktor Zymm

!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh we are past bananacakes and well into “batshit insane” now.

Doktor Zymm

Oh shit, it’s all up to Shan’khlor now!

Redshirt

Fake Punt?

ballsofsteelandfury

Harbaugh doesn’t have the stones for that.

Horatio Cornblower

He really fucked that one up. If he goes for it and they convert, they run the clock out. if they don’t, Buffalo either gloriously fucks up or converts with time left on the clock for Baltimore to at least try to respond.

Doktor Zymm

Oof short, this is a DECISION

fleshwound_NPG

0 for 3 on 2-point conversions is proof chasing points all game is dumb, kick the xtra points and only go for it late in games when you actually have to

and if they kicked the extra points, they wouldn’t have had to, because they would be leading

fleshwound_NPG

and to top it off, THEY CALLED A FUCKING FADE

fleshwound_NPG

and theyre gonna get rewarded because harbaugh is a fucking coward

Doktor Zymm

Still kinda seems like ballsitchmore’s game, but less so at 3rd and 9, wow

Sharkbait

Just a little bit of PI on the 2 pointer there

Horatio Cornblower

“meh”

-The Narrative

Redshirt

“I see nothing! Nothing!” – Referee Schultz

ballsofsteelandfury

Do we really trust the Buffalo D to get a 3&out?

Gatoraids

are they playing the dolphins?

ballsofsteelandfury

WOW. I guess we do

Mr. Ayo

I don’t trust either of these D’s at this point.

Horatio Cornblower

-D. Favre, looking at Brett and looking at the pictures on his cell phone.

Redshirt

One of these days, a QB diving over the pile is going to be European Uppercutted by a Linebackers forearm.

Horatio Cornblower

Assuming an unsuccessful onside kick, Derrick Henry is about to break one of 76 yards, during which he murders 4 defenders.

Sharkbait

0/3 on 2 point tries is a hell of a stat

Redshirt

Maybe they accidentally put the rejected plays in the Two Point Folder.

Jimbo

,

ll-cool-j-dont-call-it-a-comeback