Subsequent GTD reflections

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
You are sparing with the facial encouragements [in bed]
Irving (Severance)

Gotta help your partner along, by whatever means necessary.

Kinda mailing it in this week.  Was off last week, off Monday for some appointments with my dad ( fuck cancer) and not around much.  I away most of weekend for my lacrosse playoffs.  Went 0-4, we were awful.  Like shitting the bed would have been a step up from how bad we were.  Legs and feet are sore today ( Monday).

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I will go with 1996 and senior year for one Kobe Bryant where he:

-was Naismith High School Player of the Year
-won a state championship
-scored more than Wilt Chamberlain*
-got drafted into the NBA as a 17-year-old so his parents signed his contract
-took Brandy to the prom
*career points as a Pennsylvania high school basketball player, not that other thing
Downfield Matriculator

Never got around to that pilot’s license.

WCS

kobe got canceled for being a helicopter parent ppl forget that
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Today [Sept 1] would be Gumby’s 65th birthday. Since we shared a senior year in hIgh school, let us return to the 1977-78 school year. We had been friends since we met at the pool five years previously, but never dated. Until November. The seniors the year before caused so much drunken mayhem in Washington ( Losers! Lightweights!) that OUR annual senior trip to DC was cancelled, and the powers that be decided instead that for funzies the seniors in our class would get the privilege of hosting the seniors from a town in Indiana of the same name as ours, when they were returning from their senior trip to DC. You have never seen a bigger collection of rubes and hayseeds in your life. We dumped them off at a dance at the school , and a bunch of us went to a kegger where we got high and made vicious fun of them. We went back to the school as the dance was ending to take them home, and the slutty girl who was assigned to me was no where to be found. Reader, I lost my inbred exchange student! I was afraid to go home without her, so Gumby and I drove around looking for her. Romance blossoms in the damdest ways. When I got home, she was there, she had taken off with a guy from my class, the cheap ho. I hope he gave her herpes. But anyway, I got the love of my life out of it. Today is hard. He should be here. I miss him.
Gumbygirl

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Brocky

Brick Meathook

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LABOR DAY WEEKEND WRAP UP

Friday: stayed home and tried to not kill my wife, who was sick. you would have thought she had spent a month in Saddam Hussein’s jails.

Saturday: Two hours in car for two soccer games. Parent chirped a player on the field. I barely held it together. Came home to sick wife. Fuck, fuck FUCK!

Sunday: Two hours in car for two soccer games. We lost in the championship. Parents kept on saying “nil” versus “zero” like fucking Americans. Most irritating woman on team was screaming in my ear. She deserves the “Cannibal Holocaust” treatment. Judging by her size, they would have to use telephone poles versus run of the mill stakes.

Monday: clean turtle tank (2 hours); go to grocery store; drop off kid at pool; fold clothes; attempt to smoke a brisket and fucked it up; was told by everyone in house I was “on edge.” No, my fucking knee feels like it blew up and it’s been a month of pain. Also, i weeded the garden while my wife drank coffee.

Labor Day 2025 can eat shit with a fork and spoon.
jjfozz

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As promised for the maiacal

Thanks GTD. No way can this live up to the hype but thanks for asking.

DJ TAJ

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Looks up powerball numbers, only one number matches

Quietly deletes draft of companywide email of just middle finger gifs
Sharkbait

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I no longer have writer’s block, I have writer’s ED, as nothing I will do will live up to that[ Commanders Preview]! Excellent!
ArmedandHammered

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I don’t have cancer of the boobs, woohoo!
Gumbygirl

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Packed and ready to go. If your border guys let me in.
litre_cola

Just say loudly “Me llamo Esteban. La policía son muchos oink oink oink”.
Don T

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Anyone else get a DM from the Yahoo AI grades thingy saying that their draft was a “Cock-Gobbling Travesty That Only A Blind Retard Could Pull Off”. Just me?
scotchnaut

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You see, the problem is Khaaaaaaaaan. As a fellow supporter of a Khaaaaaaan owned team I can tell you they ain’t give no fucks about winning. 0 to be exact. They want the notoriety of being in the club and are ONLY there to make money no matter the product on the field/pitch.

And Tony has a massive drug problem that Shad looks past.
litre_cola

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Brocky

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Oops, it’s now an odd number.

Redshirt

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Oldest Fozz Spawn calls Middle Fozz Spawn to tell him that he now has an official girlfriend.

Middle Fozz Spawn: “Well, that’s nice but I think you’re an idiot for having a long term relationship. It’s fucking stupid.”

Finishing touch: phone was on speaker and his newly minted girlfriend was listening.
jjfozz

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So, I am sitting with a Doktor and a litre? Fucking green everywhere here.
Lawrence of Reginia

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scotchnaut
Author
September 4, 2025 7:28 pm
I’ll bet that the last time the phrase, “Schottenheimer will lead us through these difficult times” was heard during a Warsaw Ghetto Tenants Meeting. I’m expecting the same outcome.

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https://i.postimg.cc/qMqTLh6Z/Screenshot-20250905-215358-Gallery.jpg
Brocky
September 5, 2025 9:53 pm

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I’d like to give a shout-out to Wifey. Her niece suffered the death of her mother at the age of 14 and has become an extremely difficult person to deal with. Four years on she has made her dad’s life a living hell. Wifey jumped into the breach un-asked. Things are a bit better now.

My Prediction?: Wifey is going to wear down those rough edges with unrelenting love and acceptance and the niece is going to be so confused that eventually she’ll reciprocate against her “better” judgement.

/I’ve got $25 riding on it. Apparently FanDuel will give odds on pretty much anything
scotchnaut

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How have I not seen this wifi name before?

Doktor Zymm

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litre_log day 3 in California, have hung out with 6 DFOers and the liver is still good. Next stop Oasis.
litre_cola

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Jets gonna Jet
Col. Duke LaCross

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KEWPIE, WHAT THE HELL?

I like your thinking but that’s not Kyler Murray!

DJ TAJ

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Is everyone ready to just hand over your mental health to 53 strangers for the next 5 months, & be disappointed?

I am!

Go Phins!
Wakezilla

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September 7, 2025 10:36 am
My son, who is 13, earned a spot on a top-quality travel soccer team this year. This weekend he plays his first 2 games with the new club. Yesterday we played something called a “pre-MLS” team from Northern Virginia and soundly beat them 4-2. Today we drive 90 minutes away to Woodbridge (also Northern Virginia) for a 3:00 tilt.

I’ve never seen a coach get more out of kids, and for me, it’s like watching the old Red Army hockey team minus the joylessness. My son has already grown to six feet tall and is built like a tight end; the high school football coaches were trying to recruit him to play this year. He’s happy where he is, though, and that thrills his mom & me. Can’t believe he’s doing all this having had a clubbed right foot at birth. Fuck it, so did Mia Hamm. Can’t believe I’m already at the stage in his life where I feel my role is to just feed him to the best of my abilities, do no (further) harm, and basically step aside.

My first week bets are usually pig shit. I guess I don’t follow training camps closely enough, and thus expect every team to pick up right where they left off last season. However, some lines in the 1:00 window seemed out of whack to me:

• –New York Football Giants +6.5 @ WASH – I like the Giants here for the same reason I liked Dallas Thursday nite; that is WAY too much wood to lay in a division game in this league, unless something is seriously wrong with one team. Also, local coverage of the Commanders is always deceptively (and nauseatingly) positive.
• INDY -1.5 vs Miami – My hunch is Dolphins players wanted Foghorn Leghorn’s genius nephew shitcanned. Their disappointment is about to meet Jonathan Taylor head-on and get run the fuck over. I also think Daniel Jones’ career will experience a post-NY bounce. New York sports media is so overpowering and stupid it must crush your spirit. Now all he has to worry about is Gregg Doyel, and everyone intelligent hates him already. Humps are also starting a rookie TE, so you know that sumbitch has to be SMRT.
• Panthiz +4.5 @ JACKSONVILLE – Here’s that bias I mentioned atop these here picks. Carolina was coming around nicely at the tail end of last season and added a Polynesian cruise missile at wideout to streak all over the field. Jaguars have more to prove before they can justify a number like that. Are people still skeptical because his name is Chuba? That would be silly, wouldn’t it?

ALL THAT BEING SAID, I am a notorious mush. I just wanted to see if anyone agreed with my thinking on these 3 games. Happy football season you bunch of palookas, and may all your GAMBLOR! be profitable!

I’m dedicating this season to my pal Matt Wray, who passed away this year of lung cancer. I met him working at the same pizza joint in1996 and immediately became football buddies with him and his crew, which he generously welcomed me into when I was new in Virginia. He kept “THE BIG BOARD” every Sunday, and his apartment was the scene of many happy Sunday afternoons. Thanks for everything, Wrayboy, ya big Jersey galoot. Dumb fun for big dopes, indeed. Miss you, kid. Kickoff is in an hour and a half, send me a sign if you need smokes.
Fronkenshteen

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Me right now.

litre_cola

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The Donks fan in this bar is hilariously yelling. “I got 17 weeks of this shit coming. What the fuck????”
litre_cola

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This is most depressing story involving a Raven
Gatoraids

Poor Lenore

Horatio Cornblower

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lamar
Gatoraids

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Dok left, my DFO weekend is over, my liver rejoices.
litre_cola

I’m still there and encouraging bad decisions in spirit! (sips some water and declines a free beer)
Doktor Zymm

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STILLERS ARE UNDEFEATED STAIRWAY TO SEVEN BABY HERE WE GO STILLERS HERE WE GO CRANK RENEGADE WE’RE—-

/tased again by roommate

//wakes up at work, fully dressed somehow, with lunch bag
WCS

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Hey NBC, wanna go into why Baltimore moved on from their long time kicker? No?
Sharkbait

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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