I Did It So You Don’t Have To, Although You Might Want To. Part 1: The Tacolate

THE BEN’s wildest dream that doesn’t involve a bathroom has come true! The Choco Taco has been rebooted!

No, Klondike has not decided to make the Choco Taco again. Instead, Taco Bell has collaborated with Salt & Straw, a premium ice cream chain store Straight Outta Oregon, to recreate (or reimagine if you speak marketing) the Choco Taco. They call it the Tacolate (pronounced like chocolate. I like to use the Spanish pronunciation; TacoLAHte).

I went to the Salt & Straw location in the Arts District in DTLA on Friday, October 3, the day it launched. I got there right at the crack of noon as the store opens at that time and I wanted to avoid any possible hipster lines and/or interaction.

Luckily, there was no line and I walked right in, went to the ice cream cooler, grabbed my Tacolate, went to the counter, paid, and walked right the fuck back out. I only had to interact with the hipster cashier for like five seconds tops.

Here is a picture of the Tacolate with the Arts District in the background:

Luckily, no hipsters were around to ruin the picture. Here are your “nutritional” details:

As is usual with these things, they have a complicated way of opening for “presentation” or whatever:

As you can probably start to tell, the packaging keeps getting smaller. The wrapper is barely the size of the picture of the taco on the outer packaging. Keen-eyed readers will note that there is a sauce package underneath the gold packaging. It turned out to be a packet of Wild Berry Cinnamon sauce!

I thought I was also going to get a Mango Habanero sauce packet too but there wasn’t one. Maybe it’s a thing where you get one or the other but not both? And which one you do get is either a happy or unhappy surprise? Finally, it was time to open up the gold packaging to see the actual Tacolate.

Um,

Yeah. Not as big as I expected.

Ghost of tWBS: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!

Sooooo, what does it look like inside and how does it taste?

I halfway expected the inside to be dark brown due to the chocolate flavouring. The ice cream is not chocolate but actually “cinnamon-ancho” and it was quite good. The waffle shell was yummy and was the right blend of soft and crunchy, if that makes sense. Most of the crunch comes from the part covered with chocolate and toasted quinoa. It held up well after a bite and didn’t fall apart. I applied a little of the sauce to see how it impacted the taste.

The sauce had a great consistency in that it wasn’t too runny or too thick. I first tried it by itself and it was amazing. The berry flavours were very good but the cinnamon gave it an extra kick (slightly spicy for some weird but good reason) that made the sauce better than the Tacolate by itself.

When I took a bite of the Tacolate with the sauce on it, it was perfect. They really make a perfect combination. All the flavours worked really well together.

Alas, as the Ghost of tWBS would say, it was over way too quickly. The size of the Tacolate was so small that I ate the whole thing in less than 10 bites. The sauce was enough for the entire Tacolate and there was none left.

***

The Verdict

Let’s do this in the form of questions, shall we?

  • How much did it cost?
  • Was it worth it?
  • Would you buy it again?

My answers, in order:

  • The bar itself cost $7.50. The machine invited me to tip 25%, which I declined.
  • Sort of? Salt & Straw is a “premium” ice cream store and they have unique flavours that no one else makes. One scoop of their ice cream regularly costs about $5 depending on your location. The Tacolate contains probably less than a scoop of ice cream, but it is very unique and has other quite tasty features.
  • I’m not sure. If Taco Bell would sell that sauce packet by itself, I would buy a bunch of them and put that sauce on all kinds of things (including Lady Balls’ things). I can understand why Taco Bell and Salt & Straw decided to sell these exclusively at Salt & Straw stores instead of Taco Bell stores. They are way overpriced for Taco Bell but would be considered cheap at Salt & Straw.

Bottom Line: If you have a Salt & Straw location near you, I would recommend trying it. If you are a regular Salt & Straw customer, you will not think twice about the cost. I, being a regular Taco Bell customer, think it’s probably more of a once-in-a-while kinda expensive treat. But yeah, it’s really good!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Horatio Cornblower

Apparently The Rock is a partial owner of Salt & Straw, something I learned while finding out that I am between three Salt & Straws, two in NYC and one in the booming metropolis of Salem, New Hampshire?

CAN YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL….WHAT THE ROCK IS CREAMIN…(you know what, we need to workshop this one, guys)

Gumbygirl

HARF!

blaxabbath

Feels like Jonathon Gannon would be justified stabbing Emari Demercado in the eye. But Mike Bidwill is taking a hundred K from his coach.

Winning culture.

1000022220
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t help but ask who the 1 is.

Gatoraids

Dolphins vs Jets we were up 30-7 in 2000, tho we managed quite a few other bad 4th quarter losses

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just looked it up. That Jets team was actually decent – 9-7 under the steady, if unfathomably gentle hand of Chad Pennington – and was the kryptonite to an even better 11-5 Miami team.

BeefReeferLives

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Don T

Jim Brewer is freakin’ hilarious

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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SonOfSpam

Doing important work for us fatties, thanks for the review!

/opens new browser tab to search for this place
//gives up due to scroll fatigue

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: scroll fatigue is why ken whisenhunt’s character wasn’t able to cast a hold portal spell and got eaten by that gibbering mouther.

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blaxabbath

It’s a me-issue but the affection for moar consumer packaging seems to be a defining factor of new ‘good’ items. When I see cardboard packaging promising me a treat that is only guaranteed to be not-bigger than the box, I know to settle in for a ‘taste’.

That said, I’d eat this. But I’m also of the deserve-the-guillotine class and would buy 3.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just going to go up to the UConn Dairy Bar, get a gallon of banana chocolate chip ice cream, and call things even.

PEW-PEW-PEW!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of habeneros, my garden produced its first last week! It had as much kick as I was hoping for, and we enjoyed it with a chorizo omelette. My next preparation of it will be to make a nice chili oil and then head over to the next Federalist Society meeting venue and smear it all over the men’s room bathroom door handles.

blaxabbath

Bad news for all the teenage republican pages who are going to have burning assholes while compiling meeting minutes.

Gumbygirl

That’s the spirit!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By “spirit” I take it you are referring to ghost peppers? A fine suggestion!

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Senor Weaselo

The Federalist Society types can’t take a bell pepper.

Brick Meathook

Great review, Balls!

I’m pretty familiar with this filthy old town and I have no idea where the Arts District is. Probably near Skid Row, if I had to guess . . .

Last edited 4 months ago by Brick Meathook
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You can go to the one on Abbott Kinney to one up him on hipsters

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just checked and the nearest Salt and Straw is in New York. What the fuck.

WCS

Thanks for looking for me.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

for me it’s either New York City or Vancouver.
but they do ship if you are that in need

blaxabbath

Yeah right got this.

Senor Weaselo

Hudson and Charles? Listen, if I’m going to the West Village for non-traditional ice cream, I’m going to the matcha gelato place where the most concentrated gelato is like 15% matcha and you will feel it.

Last edited 4 months ago by Senor Weaselo
WCS

It’s worth pointing out my phone doesn’t autocorrect “harf” as an incorrect word.

Think about that for second.

Don T

420 calories per serving? Surely an idea / imposition by the marketing folks.

Bad IMHO: $7.50 is pushing it for a half-palm-sized treat. I ain’t stingy, but c’mon.

Good IMHO: “Tacolato” is a word I would not be embarrassed to say out loud.

Nit: Totally agree that, with that name, the amount of chocolate is underdelivered.

Dynamite review!

Doktor Zymm

Should I happen to find myself in Palo Alto for some godforesaken reason I might give it a try. Although I usually get their goat cheese and lilac or whatever (all both times!)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Choco taco is one of the few areas where the Ben and I are on the same side of history, so I shall be seeking this out to try!