tWBS Memorial Fantasy Football Leagues Update (Week 5)

¡Hola!

Your favourite Jello flavour has gone on vacay, so you have Substitute Teacher Balls filling in. Now you, Homecoming Queen, where is the film projector?

What do you mean those don’t exist anymore? You, Big 80s Hair Kid, where’s the roll cart with the TV and the VCR?

Are you serious? I actually have to do something for 47 minutes? Fuuuuuuu… Yes, you in the pink

“Let’s see what happened in the leagues!”

Okay, that sounds good. That should take up some time. Can someone get AI to generate the tables? Discuss amongst yourselves the ramifications of this week’s results and how they impact the rest of the season. That’s school work. Sort of. If you need anything, I’ll be over here drinking my perfectly normal coffee and no you can’t have any.

Freezer Vodka League

Week 5 Match Ups

Week 5 Standings

Week 6 Schedule

It looks like Dead Hobos are dead set on being relegated as they are the only team in both leagues that has still not won a game. Surprisingly, Pump Up The Spam is right behind them with only one win. Maybe Spam wants to win the Lowratio League so he can add another Gently Used Fleshlight to his mantle?

Atop the standings with 4-1 records, we have Indelible Prickstains FC, and The Drunky QB. Six teams are safe at 3-2 and still in the playoff hunt while the other four teams left are fighting to avoid the Relegation Zone.  I think everyone will agree that the byes and injuries really made a difference this week.

***

Lowratio League

Yes, you, the nerdy kid with the glasses

“Um, Mr. Balls. We have a problem! No one can find the Lowratio League info!”

Did you look under the rug?

“Yes. Nothing.”

Okay, just put up last week’s. No one will notice anyway.

Week 5 Match Ups

Week 5 Standings

Who earns promotion from Lowratio League to Freezer Vodka League? Who will be relegated and replaced in the senior league this year? Tune in to find out!

***

Okay, well done everyone! We managed to make it almost through the entire class. For being so good, you’re all getting stickers!

**hands out scratch n sniff stickers**

Okay, Fat Kid, you get a Ham. You’re welcome. Here’s a Spaghetti for the Italian Kid. A Taco for the Latina Lesbian. Tell me what you think of that one. Rex, you get the old shoe. Goth Girl, you get Leather. Report back to me on that one too. Okay, that’s good enough for now. Maybe the rest of you can earn some next week.

Yes, that means you’ve got me again next week as Mr. LemonJello will still be on vacay. So, no ratting me out to the Principal, okay?