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Another Sabado MOAR Football

King Hippo

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,

Various footy on USA and NBC, I am just too lazy to write about it.  Sorry about that.

Westwood Klavern (+25.5) at Indiana (Noon, Fox)

Suddenly, the DSF-free Bruins are the hottest team in the land.  Except, uh, the loaded freight train headed their way today.

Johnny Reb (+5.5) at Steerfuckers North (Noon, ABC)

Winner stays in the playoff picture.  Loser worries about spiraling into mediocrity.  Offense v. defense, should be fun.

War Damn Eagle (+2.5) at Pirate Kansas (12:45, SECN)

Have to love a battle between in-conference oh-fers.

Missouri (+2.5) at Vanderbilt (3:30, ESPN)

Here’s the Game of the Week, with Vandy favoUred a 2nd stright week.  In SEC play, no less.

Original Recipe Big Love (+2.5) at Cornpone State (3:30, Fox)

All of a sudden, the Cyclones are reeling.  Can they right the ship enough to derail the Stormin’ Mormon wagon train?

Illinois (+3.5) at Washington (3:30, BTN)

This is basically the B1G version of the Ole Miss/Okie matchup outlined above.

Steerfuckers South (-7.5) at Mississippi State (4:15, SECN)

Damn, we almost made it a whole window with no road dogs.  But Texas is on full upset-watch, in any event.  Great matchup for under bettors.

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Redshirt

Uh, JV Cincy, what are you doing?

0
yeah right

I kind of want to come back here to, I think it’s the castle that Queen Isabella was at when she gave Columbus the keys to the Ferrari, anyway, when it rains these gargoyles are supposed to spout rain.

Our walking tour guide says the gargoyles purify the water when it rains and I’m curious how a 500 year old stone/iron gargoyle is going to pull that feat off.

I ain’t gonna drink it but it would be cool to see the gargoyles spout rain.

Actual history may prove this comment inaccurate.

da2637ca-7779-4673-bed2-00a5cb28742b-1_all_7164
1
yeah right

After 5 days of bright sun a change is coming.

This is good news for sleep because the bars are closing shop as we speak but it does limit the morning activities.

I hear Sunday mornings are quiet anyway.

Plus my next activity isn’t until 2 in the afternoon.

Stuck with a granola bar and a Banana for breakfast I guess.

1000022892
1
yeah right

Still here and definitely getting cava happy. Just catching up with the people at home and they have lots of questions like,
“How the fuck are you there by yourself?”

And “Isn’t it scary?”

And I said “I really just wanted to see Barcelona” and “Yes and no. It’s scary as fuck when you get here and have no clue where anything is and can barely speak survival Spanish. But once you get around, start to know your surroundings and realize these people are not just as cool as the people back home but are even more welcoming, it’s not scary at all.
It’s fucking incredible.”

AND I’m only halfway through my trip!

I’ve got tons of cool shit coming up!

Woo!

I love cava.

6
blaxabbath

You should tell me these people more about why LA is better than them.

1
yeah right

Don’t tell them that. Then they’ll move there.

1
scotchnaut

“I Love Cava.”

-Bow Wow Wow, first version

2
Col. Duke LaCross

Evidently Fox believes there’s a big market for dudes to watch professional freestyle wrestling. Big enough to advertise it, anyway.

0
herodotus450

Why does EVERY commercial require that EVERYone in it is SHOUTING the whole fucking time?

0
scotchnaut

I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER FANDUEL’S ONE TIME PROMO-MATCHING YOUR FIVE DOLLARS WITH ANOTHER FIVE DOLLARS. HASHTAG #SUCKER

5
BC Dick

It’s cause on the Yout are on their smart telephones

1
Doktor Zymm

Wasn’t there legislation a while back that said commercials couldn’t be louder than the show? Whatever happened with that?

1
Doktor Zymm

It’s been a busy week, home from horseback and now it’s time to order some food and watch tv/play video games/nap in the hammock!

3
yeah right

Danced straight thru glass number 2 so it’s on to glass 3.

2
Redshirt

Iowa State is currently projected to beat BYU by a score of 840-0.

1
scotchnaut

I’m putting 10 bucks on the under.

2
Redshirt

I don’t know if I can handle Indiana being an offensive juggernaut.

2
yeah right

Just finished a beer to help dilute the cava.

Back to the bubbly.

There’s no way this will end badly.

It’s getting happy up in here.

3
WCS

“DFO Causes A Diplomatic Crisis”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoLGsgZTnjk

2
yeah right

Interesting side observation: there are indeed homeless folks here but not a crazy amount and most of them keep a very low profile.

The few who are asking for help are mostly in the ritzy part of town near the fancy designer stores.

Everyone who asks for help does it as a supplicant. They are on their knees, heads bowed, avoiding eye contact with a cup in front of them. Most just plead for help and kindness.

It’s heartbreaking and humbling.

Christ, I need another glass of cava.

1
SonOfSpam

Yeah, you can’t help everyone, but you CAN drink more.

2
yeah right

Working on that right now.

1
BC Dick

Everything’s better on vacation. Even the vagrants have class.

2
SonOfSpam

The Bruins’ 3 game winning streak may be at an end today.

3
WCS

Slow down with the TAEKS, Stephen A. Spam. It’s HAWT ENUFF already.

1
SonOfSpam

Do not try to stifle my truth.

2
scotchnaut

Spelled ‘trewf’ wrong. I expected better.

0
SonOfSpam

(didn’t wanna make it at all racial; more like a Real Housewives vibe)

0
scotchnaut

If you’re going full Real Housewives? Can’t wait to see your latest boob job!

2
yeah right

Yes, you can.

2
SonOfSpam

Not what you said at the time, hypocrite.

2
yeah right

Ok Dok and everyone, challenge accepted.

Alas no proper champagne flutes in the rental but soldier on I shall.

SALUD!

1000022890
4
yeah right

Glass number one.

1000022891
3
herodotus450

U of Florida President talking on two phones at the same time: “The only problem is, if you just leave your current coaching job the University of Florida will have to pay your buyout. But, if you were to be fired for gross incompetence this week…”
Lane Kiffin and Brent Venables simultaneously: “Just let me take care of that.”

2
yeah right

Just like the EPL is wont to do, today I’m on international break.

After a burger for lunch I just had homemade dumplings and karaage.

Exceptional.

There were a dozen dumplings, 4 xiaolongbao, 4 Peking duck and 4 “Steak” dumplings.
The xiaolongbao were solid but needed a little more soup inside.

The Peking duck were killer with the Chinese 5 spice and extra numbing from Szechuan pepper corn but the big winner and complete surprise were the steak dumplings.

They were actually ground beef with a heavy cumin and cayenne presence and boy were they delicious.

Super cool to watch them make the dumplings by hand in the store front window.

Siesta over, time to get drinking proper.

It’s after 8 PM after all.

6
scotchnaut

We’re witnessing yeah right inventing fusion travel in real time.

6
King Hippo

oh my, Lane Kiffin out-Lane’d hisself

0
Horatio Cornblower

911 Nashville should just be episode after episode of bacholerettes with a BA of .28+ getting their stomachs pumped.

5
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Needs a snarky voiceover making fun of their outfits and their itinerary

2
King Hippo

Is it just me, or are all the non-Johnny Reb/Okie fixtures boring as fuck?

1
scotchnaut

And Ole Miss is pulling away.

/I’m fascinated by this Hoosier team though

1
King Hippo

They’ll be every neutral’s pony come playoff time, fo sho

0
scotchnaut

Shoutout to an absolutely wonderful client of mine. (no sarcasm) She’s very religious in the best kind of way, never preachy or judgmental-she also has an interest in history and geography. She’s attending a speech given by a dude that is trying to square the circle of the existence of geology and the Bible implying that the earth is but 5,000 years old.

5
scotchnaut

I think I’ve mentioned this before but the grocery store she runs is next door to a liquor store. The first summer that she took over she remarked, “I keep on running out of limes-I don’t get it!” I made mention of perhaps customers needed them for their Coronas. Her response?

“What’s a Corona?”

3
herodotus450

What are her thoughts on wearing clothing made of mixed fabrics?

2
scotchnaut

She was open to the idea of an amazing technicolor dreamcoat in her teens but eventually realized that it was immature folly.

2
scotchnaut

Indiana holding UCLA to 0% field goal percentage so far.

0
King Hippo

finally got a bucket, thought might take until after the half

0
King Hippo

Lamar! out again?? Sommet is going on behind the scenes here.

2
Redshirt

Baltimore is converting into Tank Mode!

0
SonOfSpam

Probably another poop thing.

0
Fronkenshteen

Before he went down with the hammy, one of the fantasy football podcast humps I torture myself with mentioned noticing him getting caught from behind 4 times in one game (can’t remember which), which NEVER happens once he hits the open field at top speed. The next week was the KC blowout. Maybe a knee?

2
scotchnaut

He’s injured? “The Old Gray Lamar ain’t what he used to be, ain’t what he used to be.”

5
BeefReeferLives

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Last edited 5 months ago by BeefReeferLives
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Doktor Zymm

My same friends in high school that drove around looking for mailboxes large enough to stick their head into would also frequently reenact this bit from the Simpsons at parties

1
Doktor Zymm

Personal vendetta against fantasy football

0
Redshirt

My betting strategy is like the mighty lemmings, wherein I followed the majority off a cliff based on the 12PM games.

1
King Hippo

For the record, there are some nicknames where even I don’t know what the fuck they mean. I know Georgia State is the Sex Panthers but honestly no idea where or why I came up with that.

2
SonOfSpam

Anchorman reference? They say 60% of the time it works every time.

1
King Hippo

REAL TALK – ah has never seen that moviefilm. But still might be true, perhaps I noticed a meme??

0
SonOfSpam

You should correct that oversight. It’s quite funny.

1
King Hippo

Fightin’ Misters Pickle take the early lead on USF (12-seed implications abound)

1
King Hippo

I don’t know who started this “trend” of striped overalls with no shirt underneath. But they absolutely should be shot, along with every portly midwestern dipshit who participates. Even if you had a good body (you DON’T), who wants camera views of your fucking armpit hair?

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sure there are many people into that.

0
King Hippo

judges them in WASP

1
scotchnaut

Not enough to justify it.

1
Horatio Cornblower

We used be a proper country and have islands for people like that.

2
Senor Weaselo

“And then we nuked those islands until they glowed!” -Mike Priefer

2
scotchnaut

But that gave us the Bikini so I think it was worth it.

0
King Hippo

Slop game in Norman, highly recommend

0
Horatio Cornblower

Ah. Well. Nevertheless.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The JV preview names make less sense to me than the hippo thoughts names as I do not follow JV at all. I’m assuming that at least one of these games is made up

2
Jimbo

I also don’t follow JV, I think I get like half. Not sure what Original Recipe Big Love or Steerfuckers South are.

0
WCS

BYU and Texas, respectively.

I think.

2
King Hippo

YES and YES

1
Senor Weaselo

This is why I put actual names in parentheses for Wumbo!

(And also minimum. And also because these names are on full improv mode.)

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King Hippo

That’s becaise you are nice and thoughtful-like!

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

THANK YOU

3
Redshirt

I’ve always been assuming these are made up names to meet the Character Minimum.

2
Jimbo

Watching a documentary about the 1984 San Diego McDonald’s Massacre, glad this country has learned and taken steps to prevent these types of incidents from happening.

4
Doktor Zymm

It wasn’t as bad as the 1984 massacres of Sikhs in India after Indira Gandhi’s assassination, but that’s hardly reassuring

0
Brick Meathook

All of those pale compared to the UCLA massacre of Illinois in the 1984 Rose Bowl.

4
Gumbygirl

I just noticed there is a Sikh temple here in Jurupa Valley. I like Sikhs, they seem like good people.

1
Doktor Zymm

It’s a super interesting religion, I’ve been reading a bit about it recently. They’re all about being kind and helpful until you try to infringe on their right to practice their religion then they go into badass mode. The gurdawara here in Fremont was the first one in the US, and I kinda want to attend a service there just to check it out

2
Horatio Cornblower

LITRE GOAL!!!

0
Horatio Cornblower

“Looks like a couple of nasty back injuries on that goal!”

Miami LOLphins medical staff

1
Jimbo

For a second I thought they arrested Tommy Tubberville.

https://www.al.com/news/2025/10/penis-costume-arrest-raises-constitutional-concerns-amid-library-dispute-in-fairhope.html

1
Redshirt

What part of Darkest Timeline do you not understand?

4
Horatio Cornblower

In Tuberville’s case it ain’t a costume.

3
Redshirt

(phone rings)
Mom: “Redshirt? Can you help me pick out a new computer?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but Ohio State plays at…Next Saturday?! Sure, no problem.”

0
scotchnaut

Redshirt: [waiting patiently in the sitting room]

Redshirt’s Mom: [emerges from behind curtains holding a laptop] “This Lenovo-does it make me look thinner?”

Redshirt: [sighs, looks at watch] “Yes, but the Apple really brings out the color of your eyes.”

2
Redshirt

Her current laptop is from about twenty years ago. She knows next to nothing about technology. When I asked, she said something for “Internet, Church Videos and Taxes”. So, either she needs something decent to keep her connected to the world and help her navigate her new norm without Dad, or she’s become part of a cult or even a cult leader. With all the determination and tenacity I’ve seen the past couple of years, all possible scenarios are on the table.

If it is the latter, I’ll be sure to put all your names on the Protected Rolls, and you will come to no harm.

5
Horatio Cornblower

Will there be sacred pajamas?

2
Redshirt

Uncertain, but knowing my mom’s exorbitant supply of pajamas, its likely.

3
King Hippo

Just so long as she doesn’t have you set up her Tinder profile, amirite??

3
Redshirt

No, she’s insistent that Dad’s the only one for her. Even Dad gave her permission to find a second love, both serious “I want you to be happy after I’m gone” and jokingly “You’ll probably bring a date to my funeral”, but her words were “When you’ve had the best, why settle for the rest.”

Last edited 5 months ago by Redshirt
4
King Hippo

My mom’s been a widow for over 15 years now, and to my knowledge has never so much as dated anyone since. I get it!

1
Gumbygirl

Exactly. I have zero interest in dating. Forty three years with Gumby was plenty! Most of the geezers my age are looking for a nurse or a purse, I have no desire to provide either.

3
WCS

comment image

I have no idea what you’re talking about….

4
Doktor Zymm

So basically a Chromebook would be fine. Although now is the opportunity to get her into PC gaming and mining bitcoin!

3
Senor Weaselo

This will be a truly Strong Badian feat of fortitude.

0
litre_cola

Didn’t drink all week, abstained last night as well. Woke up, worked out, feel great. Still absolutely full of anger for a team i support. That and a Costco trip is looming…on a Saturday.

4
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Did Costco last night
Wasn’t too bad.
Did start the Christmas shopping, as there was stuff for the kids on sale.

1
litre_cola

Smdh no Barcodes v Whites commentary, feel like I am at an Arkansas Walmart checkout.

0
litre_cola

Well this weekend is going to suck. Fuck.

0
herodotus450

People forget Roger Clemens played for the Blue Jays.

0
scotchnaut

“Misremembered” was sitting right there. Unbelievable!

1
herodotus450

Is that one of yur fancy French words?

0
Redshirt

But the most important thing is people don’t forget that Roger Clemens is kind of an asshole.

2
Fronkenshteen

May I humbly offer these previews of today’s Prem action? They are emotionally fueled and I am not as knowledgable as King Hippo by any measure:

10:00 Chelsea v Sunderland: My upset special of the morning. Sunderland are playing like they’re here to stay, and are harder than a coffin nail. They draw inspiration from captain Granit Xhaka, whom I would NOT want to face in the dressing room at halftime after having given less than 100%. Chelsea just aren’t the same without Friar Cole Palmer and Nicholas Jackson scoring goals, and if Moises Caiceido hasn’t happened yet [changes to whisper] I don’t think it’s goin to happen.

10:00 Newcastle v Fulham: I see Adama starting on the right for Litre’s esteemed Whites, so my eyes instantly shot over to Fulham’s attacking left to see who might get on the end of the half-dozen crosses he’s sure to send in. Looks like Iwobi and Raúl Jimenez. Here’s hoping, buddy! Newcastle has Gordon and The Tower Of Sprockets up top, but I see Jacob Ramsey’s name and check my FanDuel balance…

No lineups on the late games yet but they are as follows:

12:30 Manchester United v Brighton: If this was NFL, I’d immediately think ManU bounces to the fucking MOON here after taking down Liverpool last week, but I’m not sure soccer runs the same way. Brighton are one of those mid-table clubs who always seem to be tough no matter who they deal away, and Welbeck has been on one lately. I’ll take Brighton here just for the dark humor of the thing.

3:00 Brentford v Liverpool: Liverpool are going to want revenge here and are going to feel they deserve it by simply tossing their jerseys on the field. They are going to find a team ready to rip their throats out and an atmosphere to match. Brentford does not fuck around. They play everyone tough regardless of the fact that they have been stripped BARE. Ivan Toney, Bryan Mbuemo, Yoanne Wissa; that’s the front 3 they’ve lost just for not being rich. Think they’re not pissed? Count the yellow cards today. This will be a classic game where every call in the last 40 minutes of game time goes Liverpool’s way so they can either equalize or win. The commentary will be unlistenable.

Last edited 5 months ago by Fronkenshteen
7
litre_cola

You sir are correct. Adama is on the right sadly but we are being very pesky. I like it.

1
King Hippo

Excellent writeups, and much appreciated!

2
Fronkenshteen

Love ya, Brother!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Well done Fronk, but needs more commentary that Arsenal is top of the table.

1
King Hippo

No 7:30 fixture today OR tomorrow. Get fucked, Inglen.

0
litre_cola

Its glorious.

0
yeah right

/ holds index card to forehead

I am going to predict your future. You will be consuming a burger in the very near future.

Look at this magnificent motherfucker. This is the Pokémon burger from Smash Burger House in the Gothic Quarter.

Double smashed patties, cheddar, a runny fried egg and black truffle aioli.

They will gladly pour you pints of icy cold cerveca to wash this down.

I live in LA, where the burger and fast food culture was invented and this thing was as good or better than any burger I’ve had anywhere.

I would travel back to Barcelona to have this burger and I’ll more than likely have another before going home on Wednesday.

Holy shit.

1000022633
Last edited 5 months ago by yeah right
7
Doktor Zymm

I learned yesterday that Au Cheval (typically considered to be the best burger in Chicago) sells more root beer than anyone else in the state of Illinois, even the teetotals want a beer with a good burger!

2
BeefReeferLives

Always found it disturbing that a burger joint is named “of the horse”

2
yeah right

This is today’s burger place. All of the burgers are named after video games. I was torn between the Pokémon, the Luigi and the Tetris but the Pokémon won because of the runny egg.

Fucking delicious.

2
WCS

How in the flying liquid ass lightening is Tom King Douche Wilson only 31-years-old?! This jerkoff is going to be around for another decade.

comment image

And Brad Marchand is 37??

comment image

Hawkey hepatitis AND syphilis! No one likes them, seems like they’re always around, and they never stay away.

0
scotchnaut

The Toronto Boob Jackers did a good last night.

2
King Hippo

GO LEAFS GO!!!

0
WCS

This would be fourth Toronto-based championship sans hawkey since the original NHL Expansion, correct?

Leafs fans hold a burning lighter under their wrist to feel something.

1
litre_cola

Raps have won, Jays have won, TFC has won, Argos have won their respective championships since the Leafs won.

1
scotchnaut

We’ll have to have Game Time weigh in on lacrosse champeenships as well. Salt. Wound.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The Toronto Rock* of the NLL (National Lacrosse League) have won the championship 6 times: 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2011

*currently based in Hamilton. Haha

Last edited 5 months ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
3
yeah right

I’m not surprised that I’m the first one here considering it’s 1:30 in the afternoon.

After 4 straight days of tapas I’m heading out for a burger and a beer.

Probably more tapas this evening after siesta time.

It’s Saturday so the city it’s fucking slammed with tourists.

I’m staying off La Rambla!

5
WCS

yo

1
WCS

What’re your plans for today (or any day, really)?

1
yeah right

Today is mostly rest, a few tourist shots, beer and food. I walked my ass off the last few days and the knees are talking loud. More walking tomorrow so this is just a chill day. Walked through two placas already and got some nice daytime shots.
Wandering through the narrow ass streets of the Gothic Quarter.

When you get away from the crowds it’s gorgeous.

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