[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

1 Nov 2025 JV NFL Night Thread

King Hippo

/

,

MOAR GAMES, demand teh ppls!

South Cakalaky (+12.5) at Johnny Reb (7:00, ESPN)

Real talk, y’all.  This slate ain’t great.  But maybe Johnny Reb sleepwalks a bit, what with all the Koach Kliff Khaos??

Steerfuckers North (+2.5) at Tennessee (7:30, ABC)

This is the actual, watchable game.  Winner clings to the leaky playoff lifeboat, loser can give up already.

Georgia Tech (-6.5) at NC State (7:30, ESPN2)

Godfuckingdamnit, YES I DO hate myself enough to watch this.  I’d be ashamed that fucking GT is almost a full TD favoUrite away to my Wolven Sort, except that I quit feeling things awhile back.

Troi Boiz (-6.5) at Cornfuckers (7:30, NBC)

The latest episode of moe-rons trying to match Fetch happen for Nebraska.  It’s NOT gonna happen.

JV WKRP (+10.5) at Team Secular Big Love (10:15, ESPN)

A Tweaker fixture worth staying up for, perhaps?  Not that I’ll be able to, thanks to being over 50.

 

 

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
308 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

ROJAS YOU SUCK!!! THAT WEAK-ASS GROUNDER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOI…Oh. Oh right.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It fills me with jjfozz-level fury whenever they refer to George Springer as a “World Series Hero”. He fucking lost that status when it was revealed that he FUCKING CHEATED.

6
rockingdog

Found a funny;

peak baseball is indistinguishable from the feeling of hitting your head against a cement wall

3
Redshirt

Update from UC/UU. Its your typical 24-7 Utah blowout.

Fumble
1st & 10 CINCY 25
1:19

B.Sorsby pass INTERCEPTED at CIN 27. Intercepted by S.Snowden at CIN 27. S.Snowden FUMBLES forced by C.Allen. Fumble RECOVERED by CIN-C.Goodie at CIN 3. Tackled by UTAH at CIN 3.

1
litre_cola

I don’t hear these announcers very often but John Smoltz is an idiot.

5
SonOfSpam

Indeed.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lean into that, you pussy

0
Horatio Cornblower

-rejected proposed title for Sheryl Sandberg’s book

3
Gumbygirl

I have to get up at 3:45 to go to the airport. My SIL and I just cracked another bottle of wine and are watching this game. She’s not even completely packed yet. We aren’t the brightest bulbs in the chandelier!

7
Redshirt

I’m just glad I’m not a fan of either team. If I was, I wouldn’t survive this game.

2
yeah right

Here we go Blue Jays!

It’s the reciency effect.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I predict that this Series will be won in the stupidest way possible.

4
Redshirt

Walk off Balk? Walk off Balk!

2
Horatio Cornblower

Pitch clock violation with the bases loaded.

3
Redshirt

Corked Bat takes go-ahead walk-off Grand Slam off the board for the final out.

2
fleshwound_NPG

it almost was with two dudes trying to light each other up in the bottom of the 9th for the 3rd out

3
Redshirt

Why do you challenge that?!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Gotta look busy.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it’s time for a safety base

0
litre_cola

Now would be the perfect time for an eephus pitch.

4
Redshirt

Oh, yeah, right. Darkest Timeline.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, come on and give me the 1-2-3 double play I want to see for some reason.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Extra innings just means that when the clocks go back, I still get my beauty sleep

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh that’s tonight? I should be imbibing something then…

4
yeah right

You have an extra hour of debauchery!

1
Don T

Oh my god! Good thing I’m smoking again.
This weekend.

3
yeah right

I fucking love you Stagger Lee.

2
WCS

Holy cripes. This could have ended in about 37 different ways.

Naturally, we’re going extras. Just remember, this is real, not that fantasy everyone has told themselves with a bat in their mitts.

1
Redshirt

Extra Innings? Why the fuck not?!

jim-carrey-ohcome-on
3
ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit that was almost one of the all time greatest fuckups in history!

8
Senor Weaselo

Bonus cantos.

Man, why couldn’t this have happened last year so I wouldn’t be rooting for the meteor to end what has otherwise been a perfectly cromulent series?

1
fleshwound_NPG

LMAO

1
Horatio Cornblower

This game has gone full plaid.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well of course it has, it’s taking place in Canada.

3
ArmedandHammered

That is so close.

0
Redshirt

He’s safe.

0
Redshirt

…or not. That was a quick review!

2
Horatio Cornblower

I think he was safe, but not enough to OT the original call.

And also that ending the World Series on a reply is never ever going to happen absent Don Denkinger level incompetence.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it bad that I’m rooting for a 1-2-3 double play?

0
fleshwound_NPG

if i had a nickel every time a kirk got hit hard in a high drama event

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just tuning in, seems like a low drama affair

1
Redshirt

Did LA burn their Setup and Closer already?!

0
SonOfSpam

Look, dummy, anytime you can put in yesterday’s starter, you fucking do it.

9
Horatio Cornblower

Relax Spam, he’s a Reds fan; they don’t understand the higher strategies employed by the likes of Dave Roberts.

2
Redshirt

Two words: Zac. Taylor.

1
SonOfSpam

He’s bringin in Koufax next.

1
SonOfSpam

Finally, Kirk can get his revenge.

On not winning last year.

1
SonOfSpam

OH NO KIRK GOT HIT

Waiting to see who did that

2
SonOfSpam

May have been a false flag, will check Twitter.

0
SonOfSpam

lol Dave Roberts doing what he can to blow this

0
ballsofsteelandfury

WT actual F?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Yamamoto signed a huge contract this year too, and Roberts is about to turn his elbow into hamburger.

2
Senor Weaselo

Scott Proctor punching the air… and then blowing out his elbow again.

0
Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way Proctor can throw a punch that hard any more.

0
scotchnaut

Sonny Barger’s grandson might have an owie.

1
Redshirt

…and as we all predicted, LA’s Game 2 and 6 starting pitcher is warming up after 0 days rest.

3
litre_cola

Dave knows what he is doing.

2
Redshirt

They’re taking their Cleanup Hitter out for a Pitch Runner?! They’re going for broke here.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Bichette isn’t scoring from second on a ball that stays in the park. They had to take him out.

0
Redshirt

It better work, because with Bichette out, Vladdy’s getting the Ohtani treatment and Toronto’s got a hole in the 3 and 4 spots.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Oh we’re not playing another inning

0
Horatio Cornblower

Shut up, stupid

0
rockingdog

lol

IMG_3015
4
scotchnaut

“Going For Broke” is the title of Antonio Brown’s autobiography. ppl forget that.

3
rockingdog

Found a funny:

My god Playoff Kershaw looming out there like Checkov’s Gun

5
Redshirt

Eh, I didn’t feel like winning $100 anyway.

0
Don T

Buenas… Just saw Louis CK killing it. Freakin’ genius. Doyers winning it would also be nice 😁

0
Horatio Cornblower

Killing it, jerking it, as long as people see it Louis CK loves it.

2
Bogdanski

For real? I figured he was gonna go full maga “comic” cuz the wokes cancelled him for jerking off into potted plants in front of his 20 something female openers. If he can still bring it, that would be great

2
Don T

20 mins. from my Apt. Pulled no punches. Hilarious.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You let him into your apartment?

1
Don T

Least I could do. He brought the A molestation material.

1
rockingdog

The stream I’m watching is Not going to commercials

That’s ROCKINGGGG!!! ⚾️

0
rockingdog

Damnit I jinxed it

lol

1
Redshirt

If Vladamir Guerrero Jr hits a walkoff homerun on the 1st pitch, we are living in a computer simulation and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.

1
fleshwound_NPG

it would tie clement for 30 hits…

0
fleshwound_NPG

oh so close

1
WCS

Won’t be the first pitch.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That was close…

0
Horatio Cornblower

So the announcers are just going to gloss over the umpire calling Smith out on a ball 2″ off the plate?

That challenge system cannot get here soon enough.

1
fleshwound_NPG

underrated HR given up by the jays, now dave roberts has to go to the bullpen

1
Horatio Cornblower

Dave Roberts just called and told me to start loosening up, which should give you an idea as to how depleted their bullpen is.

2
litre_cola

Did not see that coming.

0
SonOfSpam

Neither did Kirk.

I mean the Blue Jays’ catcher.

2
fleshwound_NPG

good thing we got daylight savings time and the weekend for the next 18-inning marathon

2
Horatio Cornblower

Miguel Rojas.

Just like we all said.

2
rockingdog

Holy shit 😮

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You know what happens to people who steal credit for my work?” – the old gypsy woman

1
SonOfSpam

PLOT TWIST

0
Horatio Cornblower

Somebody wake Hippo up; we got a bare shoulder situation behind home plate.

4
King Hippo

she could even offer me The Canadia citizenship, eh?

2
scotchnaut

Camera guy focusing on a female fan that doesn’t have big whatevers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V0TYIO6yv4

1
fleshwound_NPG

been focused on that chick in the front row with her shirt almost off nearly this whole game

3
Horatio Cornblower

As they should

3
litre_cola

They have to walk Ohtani yeah?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Nah, he’ll hit a 2-run HR to take the lead and then Dave Roberts will send Blake Snell and his 10 earned runs in his last 12.1 innings out for the 9th and nature will take its course.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh, moot.

0
WCS

Has anyone ever seen Blake Snell and Buster Bluth at the same location at the same time?

comment image

comment image

0
Redshirt

I don’t think its that much of a hyperbole to say Springer was trying to hit the ball to the United States.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s had a great game, I wonder what method he’s using to cheat tonight.

1
Redshirt

Seeing how he hurt himself a few games back, an inhuman amount of muscle relaxants, stimulants and pain killers.

1
scotchnaut

My Ouija Board says…Ouija Board. My Ouija Board doesn’t lie.

0
1 2 3
308
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x