Your Triumvirate of Afternoon Tilts

Featuring the hellscape that is the NFC West! Let’s do it again.

To The Games!

Cards/Seahawks:

One thing about Brissett, he knows which side of his bread is buttered. Somehow Harrison Jr, after a year and a half into his career, had a high of seven catches. Which begs the question, “Is Kyler deliberately not throwing the ball to him?” This also tells me that McBride is going to go on a freakin’ tear. For those that have him in fantasy he might be a league winner. But on the other side Darnold has a new playmate that goes by the name of Shaheed which will prevent JSN from being tripled so the Seattle O might get to another level. After sussing this game out I think it has great potential.

Rams/Niners:

I read/heard somewhere that San Fran is operating around 40% regarding their proposed starters at the outset of the season and now. Oof! But then again, it’s like that every year under Shanny The Younger isn’t it? They’ll keep it close but after this is over I think the Rams will have a ” Hi, I’m the NFC Favorite” nametag on their chest.

Lions/Commies:

This game had the status of being a calendar circler a few months ago. (calendar? what’s a calendar?) But like all things in Washington these days, Things Fall Apart. Detroit moves that much closer to the record they anticipated having as they head down the stretch.

Go get ’em in the comments.

5 4 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
132 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Downfield Matriculator

Watching the 49ers in this game is rather like streaming an Alexis Texas video after she bleached her asshole — letting a bunch of guys from LA score at will while pushing back once in while using an all-white backfield.

Unsurprised

Yeah!

/looks back and mouths “what the fuck is he saying?”

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Downfield Matriculator

You can pretend you don’t get the reference, but only after you delete your browser history!

Unsurprised

I genuinely don’t think I’ve seen a video of hers in a decade. I was never really into her outside some gifs of her ass (not filled).

Redshirt

Uh, I’m vaguely familiar with the name.

(moves “Saved Games” folder to another folder)

Mr. Ayo

That was a fun web search.

Redshirt

Look up the video of the ending when Trump shakes their commentators’ hands. Trump does his usual “pull the other guy towards us to show dominance” but the former player is so strong, and Trump is so weak, all Trump did was pull himself towards him. I’m surprised Trump didn’t fall over!

rockingdog

Found a funny:

[less than a week after dems sweep elections]

chuck schumer: have we tried my same old bullshit?

blaxabbath

I want to see how much eliminating food stamps lowers my caviar prices.

litre_cola

If you can, turn on the Canadian Premier League final. It’s in a blizzard. Ohhhhhh Caaannnaaadaaaa

ballsofsteelandfury

EVERYONE MUST TURN ON FOX SPORTS 2 AND WATCH THIS NOW!!

Trust me, this is better than any NFL game

Redshirt

Holy Christmas!

Redshirt

The ball can’t even roll!

Jimbo

I haven’t seen this much white since my last trip to Orange County.

Mr. Ayo

Saw the highlights, but don’t have FS2.

WCS

The Fuck Loins are doing whatever they want right now, just like Trump on Epstein’s Island of Wonderful Secrets.

Redshirt

You know that’s being screamed into the announcers’ headsets.

“DON’T MENTION EPSTEIN! DON’T MENTION EPSTEIN! DON’T MENTION EPSTEIN!”

LemonJello

Which team will score more points tonight; LioUns or HOX?

Unsurprised

That Slayton catch was ROCKING

LemonJello

I missed Ol’YamTits rambling like the dementia-addled bag of mixed pus and excrement that he is.

No, I would not like a recap. thankyouverymuch

Redshirt

I’m watching it. Its not too bad. He sounds like he’s three feet in the grave, but he sounds engaged.

Just supports my theory in the Lightest Timeline, Trump was able to buy an NFL Franchise and not have political ambitions. Just be another Jerry Jones in the NFL.

WCS

THANKS TAGLIBUE

Unsurprised

Yet another reason to hate every NFL owner. Their gain was our loss.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Redshirt

Trump just admitted he didn’t score any touchdowns?

Oh, good. They pulled a Dave and replaced him with a double. Things may get back to normal.

Redshirt

He’s actually making sense and is charismatic.

Who is this guy?!

WCS

I got that reference.

Downfield Matriculator

Looks like Agholor pulled a kidney — did not know you could do that

WCS

The National Football League: come for the chaos, stay for the new ways to cause trauma to the human body and mind!

Doktor Zymm

I would be more pissed about all of this but I’m not because reasons.

Unsurprised

Booze? Pills? Booze-filled pills?

Downfield Matriculator

Legend of White Mac followed up by Shan’klor — fun fun fun

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

Mr. Ayo

Darnold is really a very special QB.

fleshwound_NPG

nothing is more american than ignoring your president intruding an nfl game and instead illegally stream rams/niners on an iranian website

WCS

comment image

BugEyedBoo

We’re gonna have to listen to this motherfucker all night, aren’t we,

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– the unlucky couple in the room next door in the hotel where Oedipus went on his honeymoon

WCS

Wow, that’s a deep pull.

Unsurprised

Trump is so low energy, but he’s still better than Brady

BugEyedBoo

NFW. And I hate Brady.

Unsurprised

Uh … No reason …

Jimbo

Marcia?

Screenshot-2025-11-09-at-3.30.07-PM
Unsurprised

My hatred of Tom Brady knows no limits.

WCS

Trump now in the booth for Commies-Loins

This would be the time to go evacuate your bowels and refresh your preferred meal, snacks, beverages…

fleshwound_NPG

you wouldnt be the only one evacuating your bowels

Mr. Ayo

FFS, they even put him on RZ. First time I’ve muted this channel.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

Unsurprised

Cardinals haven’t been this cockblocked since the Boston PD stopped looking the other way.

Unsurprised

One of my parish pedophiles was also the police chaplain. The cops always knew in every one of these situations where it was institutional and at best just looked the other way.

Anyway. Fuck the world and fuck the Arizona Cardinals as a team, a franchise, a fan base, and anything else.

Redshirt

I’ve never been more tempted to take a road trip in my life.

IMG_2417
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, I’ve driven there plenty. It’s not that bad.

Unsurprised

Oh, yeah. Coming back to watch tv in sadness is much better than enjoying a rare sunny day in November out with people and life even if my neighborhood is half-dying. I make wise life choices.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
WCS

As a public servant, I’m obligated to ask if you need help.

Unsurprised

LOL.

Nah. I have ice cream now.

WCS

comment image

As a kid, I didn’t know what Prozac was, but this still made me laugh. Now, Prozac and ice cream are part of my daily routine, too!

Redshirt

(mixes homemade ice cream and Sertraline) “Mmm.”

(picks up phone) “Poison Control, please.”

Redshirt

I’d take WCS’s advice. As a Bengals fan, I’m persuaded to point and laugh.

Senor Weaselo

Some of us are mandatory reporters too!

WCS

I thought you played smart and rich people’s music for smart and rich people?

Senor Weaselo

Professor Weaselo is a mandatory reporter! (I think.)

Unsurprised

I also picked up a book from the library in time for Veterans Day.

IMG_7503
Redshirt

I missed on a $3,000 parlay because San Francisco forgot that Christian McCaffrey exists, he’s on their team and is amazing good at footballing.

Last edited 5 months ago by Redshirt
ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

jjfozz

Veterans: for all of you hard work, lost time with family, possibly getting your head blown off, we offer you a free meal that will induce intense diarrhea. Thanks Applebee’s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good lord are the Seahawks gonna hang 70 on the Cardinals?

Doktor Zymm

This is just a silly late window, lol

jjfozz

Every previous generation, including mine, loathes DC. It’s a typical Baltimoron reaction to an intense inferiority complex: white vs blue collar.

This being said, I’m enjoying this Commanders game.

Redshirt

Is the crowd booing Trump or are they not showing him due to the Commanders owner…uh…”servicing” him.

LemonJello

HOX beating the Qards like they’re a rented red-headed step mule that owes them money.

fleshwound_NPG

kyle shanahan

NEVER quit paying for 28-3

Mr. Ayo

Bidwell’s sexuality aside, I think we can all agree his team sucks and blows.

fleshwound_NPG

honoring paul tagliabue by watching rams/niners on an illegal stream from iran

jjfozz

If you want to go further, I’m planning on shitting on his grave in about two weeks

jjfozz

Deadliest Catch: it’s amazing what meth heads working together can accomplish

LemonJello

THIS COMMANDERS DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS CHRISTIANS IN THE GLADIATORIAL ARENA BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING EATEN ALIVE BY THESE LIONS

jjfozz

We switched over to T Mobile, if you hear about T Mobile stores going up in flames around Baltimore, it might be my wife.

Mr. Ayo

Their headquarters are just down the road for me. Let me know if I can help.

jjfozz

The quick action trunks are packed, will alert you prior to our wheels up.

Redshirt

Its amazing how much people eventually act like their spouses.

jjfozz

We’re both hard headed Italians, she’s even more combative than me in select situations. THis T Mobile rep is earning her money right now.

Redshirt

That was me with the Verizon rep. My first experience getting a solo cell phone plan. I probably feel the same as The Lady Fozz, but as a Pisces, I’m less likely to burn the store to the ground. I just add it to the ulcer.

Last edited 5 months ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What have they done to upset her? In general I’ve been pretty satisfied with them.

jjfozz

We’re switching over from Verizon. One headache after another. I warned her but it’s like talking to our dog.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m thinking I’ll root for the Rams for the rest of this season. I like Stafford, and they’re local, and based on how they are completely dismantling this 49ers defense they seem like they might make some serious noise in the playoffs.

ThePirateSloth

comment image

Mr. Ayo

TRAITOR!

ThePirateSloth

Bullshit! Fumble!
comment image

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!!

jjfozz

Tagliabue died today. Hoping he’s down in hell next to Irsay getting live porcupines shoved up his ass every five minutes.

WCS

Hi.

ArmedandHammered

HiHo

ArmedandHammered

It’s off to booze we go.

jjfozz

third beer, empty stomach, post hangover. two more and i’m going to ask mrs. fozz about sexy time

fleshwound_NPG

so trump is gonna talk during the 3rd quarter of lions commies on fox, the game im forced to watch on regular tv

thumbs down, fart noise, fire up the pirate stream

jjfozz

I’m sure his interview will be insightful, well planned, without any emotion or bombastic comments.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And certainly no unfounded superlatives.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would bet my house that he doesn’t make a single mention of Paul Tagliabue *or* Dick Cheney.

WCS

He doesn’t know who either of those people are/were.

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOO

fleshwound_NPG

so the texans thicc six created a scorigami?

thanks, duval!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think if you dangle the ball like that Houston defensive lineman just did – either in practice or in a game – it should be grounds for an immediate Code Red style blanket party.

Unsurprised

I’m going to put a cherry on that Lions/Commies entry by taking this opportunity to get ice cream rather than suffer the game.

Mr. Ayo

lol Duval again.

LemonJello

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Also, 36-29 is scorigami! Amazing.

jjfozz

THIS RAVENS TEAM I CALL IT DEEP FRIED CHEESE CAUSE IT’S GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK.

fleshwound_NPG

hard to decide who fucked the dog late in a game harder today

brian daboll, or chuck schumer

Mr. Ayo

Well it wasn’t Kristi Noem. She would just kill it.

Redshirt

She could do both. Its the Trump Administration.

jjfozz

I learned earlier this week that one of the Chicago mob’s biggest enforcers was a dog fucker.

Unsurprised

His wife and goomah couldn’t have been that ugly.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
ThePirateSloth

comment image

132
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x