Let’s see what we’ve got. Just the Colts and Saints on bye this week.
Bengals/Steelers:
Cincy doesn’t have a pass rush with Hendrickson in and he may not be playing so Rodgers should have all day. I guess if the game gets weird, loopy and ugly it could be close. Once again though, which Pitt D bothers to show up? The one that gave up 32 to the Jets or the one that held the roaring Pats to 14?
Panteros/Falconos:
This could be an odd sort of game that on the surface looks like a low-scoring incompetency-fest but both defenses have shown that they can stop teams in their tracks. Atlanta seems to be more Jeckyll and Hyde-they let Jonathan Taylor run for 200+ and yet sacked Indy Jones 7 times. If Atlanta can’t figure how to get the ball to Bijan/Allgeier for about 32 touches combined I don’t know what to say.
Bucs/Bills:
This should be the Game O’ Week (on this slate at least, there’s another one in the late window). Tampa’s a bit undermanned but you can run on Buffalo as easily as you can walk your dog around the block. The Bills are undefeated when Cook gets to 100 yards and Mayfield’s 4th quarter metrics were off the charts last time I looked.
Texans/Titans:
Stroud is out again with a sprained noggin but I feel more sorry for Ward, who must face that devastating Houston pass rush.
Bears/Vikes:
What to make of these teams? They both are well-coached but deeply flawed. Once some upgraded personnel are put in place the NFC North is going to be a gotdamn madhouse of a division. I think Chicago takes this because McCarthy isn’t there yet, not even close.
Packers/Giants:
I’ve not a clue as to what the combo of Kafka and Winston will get up to today but it sure as hell will be interesting. Kafka showed a great deal of creativity over at K.C. and I wonder how much that was stifled by Daboll trying not to lose. You know Jameis wants to let loose the long ball but the Giants have very little speed with both Nabers and now Slayton out. Hyatt’s the guy for the job but he’s Roberto Duran as far as hands are concerned.
Chargers/Jags:
Jax is a game over .500 but it feels like they’re three games under. Is it just habit to think of them that way? Brian Thomas Jr’s sophomore blues have handicapped what they can do in the passing game and the team is so non-descript otherwise. Here’s one for you-Herbert is the league’s leading rusher at the QB spot. Who saw that coming?
Do your thing.
Okay, time to see if they switched Flacco from Bronco Flacco.
Oh, no. A Backup QB. The Bengals only weakness. Besides the other shitload.
I like the idea of bluebunny and Rodgers being alone in town here on Thanksgiving (they both still live here, and no I don’t buy the one is married), eating tv dinners, watching lifetime movie network.
BIuebunny?
Either ice cream or a prostitute?
Both if the moneys right
– confused security guard at the Dallas Cowboys practice facility trying to direct a delivery driver
The former McCarthy silly!
There’s always a chance they go for a last minute treats run and collide head-on a deserted street because they both have their heads so far up their own asses they can’t see the road.
Huh, I didn’t remember seeing Juggernaut on the Steelers Depth Chart…
MUFF!
And not the Sexy Friday kind.
man, if not for jj mccarthy’s 4th quarter against the bears in week 1…
This McManus fella…nawt a kicker
Hell of a shot, though.
His only weakness is a screwdriver to the spine.
Bengals broke Aaron Rodgers? You’re welcome, America.
nfl player: *gets face-masked HARD, helmet gets twisted more than 90 degrees*
nfl ref: ???
people who gamble: GGAAAHHHHHHH
lmao
Referee: Hands to the Face, Offense.
Fuck incompetence. This is obviously malice.
Rodgers just starting to fake injuries to avoid going to Thanksgiving with the family
Now out of the game. Really committing to the bit.
Mother: “What about Thanksgiving?”
Rodgers: “Elongated Femoral Follicle Fracture.” Sorry.”
Mother: “Those are the worst. Thank God you won’t be able to attend this family get-together because you’re such a bitch.”
Rodgers: “What?”
Mother: “What?”
Oh no. Not a blow to the head of Aaron Rodgers …
Rodgers is holding his left wrist a lot…
Mount Washington!
F=ma
He’s the best thing on the team. Jonnu Smith needs to be fired into the sun.
Oh how I’d like to, but Kerry’s attorneys were very clear about the “no contact” order.
BLEERGH…
ANNOUNCER: We’ve secretly replaced Justin Herbert with Patrick Mahomes. Let’s see if anyone notices…
REFEREES: [notice]
THIS JOEY PORTER JR., I CALL HIM A HANK WILLIAMS SONG BECAUSE HE’S CARRYING ON THE FAMILY TRADITION OF BEING AN ASSHOLE
Flacco having a non-elite day. Reports say that pepper was accidentally added to his plain pasta and skim milk pre-game meal.
He bit the bullet and had a one-way from Skyline Chili (spaghetti only). The grease threw his digestive system for a loop.
They say lock your dog and your wife in the trunk for 15 minutes and see which one is happy to see you when you open it. Thats unconditional love.
…
Bengals…sack?
Yes, we all know they suck.
Wait..
Two straight Pittsburgh punts? I’m dreaming. I fell asleep, did I?
Just lulling you into a false sense of security! That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.
That’s our teams; always toying with our blood pressures.
I feel that way about having the house entirely to myself for a few hours.
So nice of Allstate to play their jingle at the beginning of every commercial as a five second warning to mute the tv
I miss it when they used to show a local station commercial before the break ended. Its was the perfect signal to get back to the TV.
Watt tried to turn the QB Death Count into a Hat Trick.
I’m home, yay. Handsome Henry and I were at the SIL’s for a few days. Fucker is almost 18, but didn’t he sneak upstairs at 5:30 this morning to terrorize their cats. Much screaming and flying fur. He is never going to outgrow the juvenile delinquent stage.
Love just checked into the blue hotel.
You can check out any time you like
But you can NEVAR leave….
aaaaaand down the tunnel he goes! Malik Willis is your QB for the packers.
Give them Joe Burrow’s name for a 10% discount and free Continental Breakfast.
Brian Daboll is working the checkin counter these days.
Daboll: [scans item, no price is shown]
Customer: “I guess it’s free, right?”
Daboll: [stomps around] “You fucking piece of shit-I’ve heard this 45 times! I’m going to…”
Manager: “Brian. What did we agree upon?”
Daboll: “I’m just a cashier now, not an NFL coach that can let my emotions run wild.”
Manager: “Now calm down, that’s a good cashier.”
Two ded QBs already?
We forced a punt? WE FORCED A PUNT!
Stingley looks surprisingly mobile
JC Lathsm is a dissapointment Post Comment
I didn’t know Cincinnati had a defense.
Not quite, we have a “defense”.
Neither did they.
It’s usually called “Unrelenting Halitosis”. But, whatever.
De Fence
To understand the Cincinnati Bengals defense, you have to look at the words that make it up: “def” and “ense”. These two words don’t exist, which is why neither does the Cincinnati Bengals defense.
Oh, challenge that!
Titans get less breaks from the ref than North Korean work prisoners.
Referee: “Offsides, #9, Defense.”
Will someone get Joe Burrow off the field and off the DL Rotation List?!
Bengals Offense still good. Bengals defense…
Stone of Victory looks stout #JustSayin
Giants seem up for it.
Sack! Aooooooo it’s mimosa time 🎉🎊
NEGATED DOINK!
AND BULLSHIT BAILOUT CALL
First nicotine break?
I’m off the gum today. The gum.
BLEERGH has overturned PALO
PALO
Ahh…the de-lafleuring continues on schedule.
“Son of a bitch! And all that I worked for?”
-Georgia O’Keefe
When do Pitchers and Catchers report?
When they get subpoenad in front of Congress
Let’s do this. Have 3 screens going, in case David Mills goes stratospheric
Today’s Panters Falcons game is sponsored by Better Help
-But the ad said a therapist that’s right for you!
-Sorry Mr. Young. I suggest you turn to Santería.
How goddamn fun is it to bet on Jameis Winston again?!
Bengals Fans Mood Update:
The Simpsons – IT’S ALL OVER, PEOPLE! WE DON’T HAVE A PRAYER!
I went ahead and started Jameis because a goddamn nihilist has to stick to his
gunsearmuffs because it’s cold up here.Grandson Noodles just let out a SBD that would make a corpse gag
As Ruby gets older her “digressions” become more and more convoluted, shall we say.
/trying to give the old girl the respect she deserves
Is Achane quietly the best player in the league?
you know, that’s an excellent point. That instant acceleration is pretty special (and not in Darnold fashion)
if I didn’t have RedZone, I’d be tempted to go full to VEP/Packers
But then you would miss out on the RZ musak
I’m assuming that RZ Muzak is what they will play in our retirement homes, to keep us docile
Pittsburgh is embarrassed and angry from last week’s performance and from the last Bengals game.
Either this will be a mercy kill or things are gonna get weird.