Yes, you get a guest conductor tonight. And boy howdy, do I ever have a RIPE TURD to present y’all.
Cowpersons (-3.5) at Raiduhs (8:15, ABC y ESPN)
The twin visages of HI I’M MARK DAVIS and Creeping Death Jerral Jones. The mind just boggles.
Both of these squadrons are absolutely putrid, but the ‘Persons at least have a competent QB, WR1, and placement man. Vegas has Maxx Crosby and a post-apocalyptic wasteland of immense proportions.
That said, Dallas is absolutely capable of losing anywhere, anytime, anyhow. It’s just an organizational principle at this point in time. They briefly made the Qards look almost competent. You are watching this because you are fond of car crashes/train wrecks/mine detonations, as long as it doesn’t involve sacrificing your own flesh. Hey, don’t feel bad about it. #MeToo.
However, Hippo will at least have the distraction of NC State/VCU hoopsball, as Will Wade (aka “The Man In Black”) has Hippo and all his wolven fellows ALL IN.
Neither Hippo nor Other Hippo has fuckshit MOAR to say. So here’s the best new song Hippo has picked up this month:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0q4oibfs9g
Horatio briefly alluded to Berman’s affinity for Canadian painkillers earlier. Here’s what he’s referring to..
“Nailed it! No, for real, that’s exactly what Horatio meant. Why are you all looking at me like that?”
-Blair Walsh
Good game RTD.
Now go use that West Coast time to put in 2 hours of K-Drama time!!
As expected, I caught a full load of grief.
Not all good news tonight. Jose Altuve underwent foot surgery, and it went fine.
Well, much like his at bats I’m sure he knew what was coming far enough in advance to prepare for it.
If Crosby’s gonna do that on a kneel down by all means put Williams back in and run the score up. Fucking idiot.
The 12 players on defense penalty was the delicious icing on the Raiders’ crap cake.
Oh come on, Dallas, run up the score (using my running back)!
THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM ONE OF THE GIRLS ASSIGNED TO DONALD TRUMP AT ONE OF HIS GOOD FRIEND JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S PARTIES BECAUSE I AM CRYING AND BEGGING FOR THEM TO “JUST GET THIS OVER WITH, PLEASE.”
Did the Raiders know the rules on Onside Kicks?
I hate this rule about telling the officials about an onside kick. The whole point of an onside kick is to
jap the other team(BEAT IT, PARCELLS), take the other team by surprise. So stupid.And only if you’re losing and it’s after 3 pm Greenwich mean time and the moon is waning. What a complete hash they’ve made of the entire kickoff play.
Just let people get their brains caved in once in a while or don’t even have the play. Throw some dice for field position.
Onside kick after a safety?
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
ANNOUNCER: The Raiders can make a game of this…
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: They won’t.
Now all I need is one more Pickens reception to bail my ass out, and I can call it a day!
Safety Dance!
and with that, I’m off like a prom dress, to bed. Later, Taters!
Safety Dance? Sure, why not!
Safety Dance! Yay!
Points for RTD! Boo!
Hey my friends this submariner has surfaced!
Don’t we have 2 Raiders fans here?
“These coaches actually coached together at one point!”
/the league is full of gotdamn retreads that always get another job somewhere. Give me a break
Sam Darnold is a perfect example of a ret…oh, retread, I misread that. Nevermind.
Didn’t they take Pete Carroll’s USC championship away?
Nope, just Reggie’s Heisman.
Which they later returned, because even Heisman Foundation said it was bullshit to take it away.
I didn’t think the Raiders would win, but woof….
I’m going to catch a lot of heat for not hanging around downstairs while my wife and mother-in-law watch K-dramas (“all I’m asking is for you to be present.”), and all I’m going to get for it is to watch the Raiders and the Hunters of Renfrow lose. So thanks, Raiders. Thanks a lot. Assholes.
THIS REQUEST FROM MRS. DR. DEADLY ESQ. (RET.) I CALL IT ARNHEM BECAUSE IT IS A BRIDGE TOO FAR!!
OPERATION MARKET GARDEN
Convince them Train to Busan or Kingdom is kdrama
Jesus Christ.
So why is it CLE won’t play Desean still?
He’s injured, I thought.
Hanging around for lame Tre Tucker points , even tho with Jayden , London and Olave Injuries mah season is tren de downqua
Did Buck just call the Raiders the Ravens, or am I drunk on fresh water?
It’s probably the fluoride.
Man am I glad I didn’t waste more than a few minutes of my life watching this year’s Raiders team before tonight. This is quite possibly the worst iteration of them I’ve ever seen.
A touchdown for Javonte Williams would have put me back in front, but they didn’t even let him try. Instead…
I suspect that Dallas is going to go ground heavy from here on out.
I was, uh, not expecting the Raiders to do the same.
Dallas is sniffing around the play-offs the same way I’m sniffing around Elle MacPherson: creepily and with no chance of getting anywhere.
Aim for Olivia Nuzzi.
(Just tell her you’re running for…something)
“Hey baby, how’d you like a little bit of a leper in you?”
Lowratio objects to this comment for multiple reasons.
Please. If I have to hear that “face off in the corner” joke about the lepers hockey game one more time…
Fun Fact: this is the same thing the Secret Service spotter told his sniper partner on several occasions.
Interesting to see Nike has replaced the big ‘Just Do It’ slogan on the fronts of their shirts with the equivalent emoji: Marshawn Kneeland.
So Avatars are the love child of JarJar Binks and a Smurf?
On a scale of are these my hands to Hippo, how high do I need to be to enjoy that movie
Super duper high or maybe
We own the original movie on DVD or maybe Blu-ray but it’s still in the cellophane wrapping
My kids loved the first one. I hated it.
Given the nation is under austerity measures, I know I’m giving everyone jackall this Christmas.
QUIET TIME, time for the economy to take a nap!
“Grabs pillow to put economy to sleep.”
– Dr Oz
MyEconomy
It’s spelled “Jackyl” and are you thinking CDs or cassettes?
That reminds me, I need to pick up some jackoff gift cards from the local spa to send to Robert Kraft.
..
Berman with the Fattest Three Minutes in Football
But with CFL highlights
Berman’s a big fan of Canadien pharmaceuticals.
Just a LITTLE push….