‘Noches… The Reverend is off tonight. In substitution, I’m gonna talk about two things close to my heart. First, cholesterol. We are now aware #Awareness
The second is the 1-10 Tennessee Titans,
, and tanking for the #1 pick.
If the season is lost by Week 13, a lousy team might as well earn the #1 pick by maximizing incompetence. The #1 pick is a Big Deal. Trading away the #1 pick for a proven NFL player, or picks, or both could yield an instant mini-rebuild. All it takes is a sustained hype blitz about a single college player for #1, and maybe that player behaving suck-uppy professionally in meetings with interested NFL teams. Playing against cellar colleagues, like The Pauls or the Saints in Weeks 15-17, are opportunities for that precious loss that gets your team to #1. It’s logical.
Brain: Losing now is a strategy for long-term success DUH
All other cells in my body:
Can’t abide the tankin’ lifestyle. I would rather be a bandwagon fan than a team season completist when my team has nothing good to show and the derpness gets deliberate. If I want consistent emotional disappointment year after year, I’ll marry hastily—NO, gracias.
If you watch your team play and hope for a loss, I won’t judge. I’m hella sympathetic, in fact: every spring and summer are reminders that lousy fitbaw is better than no fitbaw. Airtight logic; but as with most human dynamics, a good outcome requires setting logic aside.
Unlike life, which is cumulative until you die, all pro fitbaw teams get a yearly reset. The term is a season and games are the units—with every team starting 0-0-O. Every year college players, on the cheap, are for the taking. Plus draft order (leg-up for losing teams), the Lee’s socialist salary cap, and collective-farming TV deal dough make a fertile petri dish for fan hope. All our shitty team needs to do is hit with a coupla prospects. Which is calming, when rookie play is imaginary and daydreamy during the offseason. The system is geared to stop bad teams from becoming pathetic. As long as fan commitment is proportional to emotional retar– SPECIALNESS, we’re hooked. I fear.
All I want, as a fan, is to see my team not be a complete fucking embarrassment. Some fans can’t accept anything less than a championship each season. I admire your spirit. Take heart; the Pats and Iggles became juggernauts AND champions. For me, I’ll take the Dan Campbell Lions as inspiration. Brave / reckless coaching to win, decent eye talent at GM, give every opponent a tough game. Who would’ve thunk it: each year DET has a chance at winning it all, injuries permitting.
NEWS
(from the House Organ .com, an espen partner, no link)
-Panthers S Tre’von Moehring was suspended one game for cockpunching. Recreation at 1:09
That movie was not THAT bad. I’d may even watch it again, but first gotta find the right weed strain.
-Bills sign WR Brandin Cooks. My only explanation is market manipulation of the “Rostered” % in 16-team Yahoo Fantasy leagues.
-Saints worked out K Justin Tucker, signed Cade York instead. Catholic decision-making at its finest.
-For the 3-8 Bengals, Joe Burrow “will return to the field Thursday night against the Ravens for the first time since he suffered a toe injury in Week 2”.
No tanking in Cincy. Good for them, good for us looking for escapism after a holiday dinner.
SPROTS TO MIGHT (from espen)
Check local listing for time. This daylight savings time of youse got my computer and cellphone all inaccurate.
NHL
Dallas @ Edmonton – 10:00 laptop
TRAVELING 3s
Hawks @ Whiz – 8:00 laptop
Magic @ Sixers – 9:00 laptop
TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL
Colombia
Independiente Santa Fe v. Deportes Tolima – 8:30 laptop
FINALLY,
The Titans ain’t tanking on purpose, yet. The players haven’t quit and the offensive playcalling has gotten less cowardly in the last two games. And, this year, TEN finally got consistently good special teams—and a bona fide returner in rookie Chimere Dike, the first dependable-to-fantastic K/P returner since Pacman Jones during that coupla years way back. Dike is the current leader in all-purpose yards, which is definitely a thing BAYBEH!
Mood: fine
Banner via filter.vn, gifs from giphy.com
It’s sad because everyone knew Vrabel would be good at a subsequent HC stop.
Pluribus is genius.
The pleasure centers in my brain are going absolutely bananas with frustration right now because they are being denied a second mai tai. They’re right to be upset; that thing was delicious.
We’re all caught up on “It: Welcome to Derry” and I have to say, neither It nor Derry are very welcoming.
Being African-American in the early 1960s seems fun. Also, any other time in American history. At least the clown is an equal-opportunity killer.
Looks like you’re losing Mora to Colorado St. Expected, but still rough.
Hey, Chip Kelly needs a job.
“All right, I know it’s early but are we not gonna talk about the fact that Luka has already had 24?”
Overheard from…
a.) a spectator of tonights Lakers-Clippers game OR
b.) a server at an all-you-can-eat taco night
YOU MAKE THE CALL
c.) the director of the Houston 500 after filming had begun
d.) a concerned neighbor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0
“… just fatly going around corners”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4
“Hambidextrous”
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/qw16f0/steven_segal_knows_how_to_hold_a_rifle/
I want to see him fire that thing just to watch the bullets spray gloriously and every direction but towards the target.
Should I be concerned?
Seems more “Canadiaun virus” if it politely asks you to delete your own files for it.
He was polite
https://share.google/images/8WKCWJYdjtMWqV3AI
https://share.google/ohHvbf8YrhvjUNR8g
I will never fully understand how to post a picture
It has to have .jpg or .png at the tail end of the link
Speaking of the Steven Segal movie era, just caught an old Mikey Roark flick where he nails Jacqueline Bassett at the end… with Jacky showin it all. Sweet. Now time to run.
Thanks Don T, your writing is always a fun read.
I don’t know this film, feel like I ought. I remember him boning Carre Otis in some bad movie. Good for him, boning attractive women (Kim Basinger, Marisa Tomei, and such and such)
He was a piece of ass 40 years ago.
Wild Orchid
Also Wild Orchid
9 1/2 Weeks
The Wrestler
Damn. Angie Everheart was in Another 9 1/2 Weeks. I think he also banged Daryl Hannah in The Pope of Greenwich Village as they betray Eric Roberts’ character.
I thought Daryl was with Mickey the whole time, right until she dumped him and took all the money.
I can barely remember the movie. You’re probably right.
I went to Vons yesterday, and made a list so I wouldn’t buy any stupid shit, for a change. I got everything, but then I got lured onto the rocks by the Toilet Bowl Cleaner Sirens. I have three unopened bottles, for Chrissakes! But I live in Mortal Fear that I will run out, and the Toilet Police will come and take me to Potty Gitmo. Is it just me, or does anyone else have something they buy every Goddamned Time they go shopping? And why the Fuck am I randomly Capitalizing, like the Fucking Cheeto?
About 15 years ago give or take, I got into this weird habit of buying mustard seemingly every other time I went to the store. One day we ran out, and my wife was astonished to find about 7-8 containers in our pantry. Very random, not like some weird fetish as far as I know, just bought a lot of mustard. What I’m saying is, welcome to the crazy table.
Candy.
Gotta keep the van stocked, especially during the school year.
Those kids aren’t gonna vanish themselves.
We do, but I can’t think of what it is right now. Which is very on-brand, because we will be at the store and I also will not remember what it is or the fact that we already have a large supply of whatever it is, and buy more!
Mexican Coca-Cola during the summer, fancy chocolate bars every goddamn time.
VODKA
Oh, look at this fancy fucker whose state lets him buy vodka at the supermarket
I understand the need for rebuilds, and that sometimes my team’s longterm interests would be better served by a loss than a win, but I can’t bring myself to cheer for a loss. I mean, sports fandom is inherently illogical anyway, and my cheering doesn’t actually influence anything, so why do something that makes me feel bad in the moment?
I won’t do it, because it makes me feel bad and
120 Minutes Playlist Project Update: The 90’s have arrived with a BANG.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGp47YwDZ48
Such a great tune.
So it’s Tuesday. My wife and I had a drink (I emptied the dregs of a bottle of Bulleit.) Middle Fozz’s friends came in so I had to have a few more beers. Older Fozz’s friend came in, so yeah more beers. So it’s 8 o’clock on a Tuesday, my mother is insane, I’m continuing to crush beers.
I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM!
As long as you don’t run out of beers, you don’t.
Don’t forget the plan. TRUST THE PLAN!
Let’s not forget The Battle for America’s Missing Mitten, as Eastern Michigan battles Western Michigan.
Also on NBC/Pee(heh)Cock(heh), 10 PM DFO Time (stay up for this, not like you’re workin this week)
Battle 4 LA, NBA Cup. The Lake Show and The, um, Clip Show? are unbeaten and in the same NBA Cup division, so this game is yoooge. NBA Cup fever, catch it!
Oh, only the Western half of the USA gets this on NBC. You Easterners get Orlando/Philly starting soon. No idea about NBA Cup ramifications of that game. Maybe it’s important. Maybe it’s Maybelline.