“How Did I Do At The Job I Did?” – A [DFO] Season Preview Review

Hey everyone,

It’s your old pal Beerguy, back again ahead of the annual DFO Hate Week to start possibly a new tradition in order to feed the #ContentMonster – the season-ending review of the previews.

It’s also a good chance to laugh at ourselves because unless you picked RAMMIT, there was little likelihood of anyone being correct with how everything played out.

Now, rather than go down the list of how each team performed, I’m going to stay in my lane and just look at the two teams I previewed – the Seahawks and the Falcons.

The Falcons:

Preview prediction: 7-10 and missing the playoffs

Midseason update: 10-7 but missing the playoffs

End result: 8-9, missing the playoffs yet somehow also being the decider in who won the division.

When the Falcons season started, I had a terrible feeling that danger lay on the horizon but didn’t know the direction it would come from. Turns out, the rot started with the kicking game. A missed game-tying field goal in Week 1 cost the K-pop named Younghoe Koo his job. He was replaced by three-named booter John Parker Romo, who lasted until a missed PAT in Week 9 cost the Falcons a tie on the road in New England. He was subsequently replaced by Zane Gonzales, who the Falcons never bothered to cut because by that time they were out of the playoff hunt.

It was a non-sexually confusing season to watch because at times the Falcons looked like world beaters, beating the Vikings (Week 2) and the Bills (Week 6) to go 3-2 and raise doubts about their annual mediocrity. But losing seven of eight during the middle of the season, including a loss to the Jets,

^{I enjoyed the two-for-one shot this allowed me.}

left them 4-8 and staring Cancun in the face by the time December started.

A final testament to how this season went was their Week 15 Thursday night game versus Tampa. They won that game despite committing 19 penalties & blowing a two-point convert, in a game Al Michaels was openly deriding as it was occurring.

That win was the start of a four-game win streak to end the season, but it wasn’t enough to save Raheem Morris’ job, as the Falcons called in a local organization

to have him and his staff removed before the lights even turned off on Sunday night.

But Arthur Blank at least wrote a nice letter about it:

And look what they’ve gone and done now. Since Jerry Glanville is 84 and Dan Reeves is dead, ol’ Arty Blank went to the recent Well of Sorrow and pulled out the greatest quarterback, who never raised fighting dogs, that the franchise has ever seen to be the team’s latest savior.

Staring him right in the face Day-One is the situation at Quarterback. Not helping the cause was the physical & mental bludgeoning of Michael Penix and the burgeoning incompetence of deadweight millionaire Kirk Cousins. The Falcons have a less gropey yet equally expensive problem on their hands, and there’s no real plan how to resolve it.

Matt Ryan,

actually had the decency to resign from his broadcast job to take on this position. He was only there at CBS three years, but he got a nice on-air sendoff after announcing his new gig. (As a counterpoint, Phil Simms was there 17 years and people just chose to forget he existed, Armin Tamzarian style.) I guess doing the right thing does come naturally to some people.

Offseason prediction: beyond some managerial on-field salary dumping, either a last-minute hire before the Draft or a hilarious choice that will spark an intra-state civil war.

The Seahawks:

Preview prediction: 10-7 and missing the playoffs

Midseason update: 12-5 and being a Wild Card team

End result: 14-3 and being the #1 seed

My preseason quote about the defence seems the most accurate thing I’ve said since I told that cop New Year’s Eve that my BAC was 0.0:

On paper, this defence has the chance to be something really special. The guys they drafted with all those bonus picks a few years ago are now rounding into shape, both as individuals and as a unit. They will keep the offence in almost every game. Of course, the other side of that coin will be that they grow to resent the offence because of how bad they are & we get another Richard Sherman vs Russell Wilson situation, but without the chance of a ring to give it the veneer of respectability. Having to come in after so many three-and-outs will wear down even the strongest of characters.

They lived up to the hype and essentially won this team the top seed. Ignoring the Rams game they won in OT, the Niners game to clinch the division was all the proof one needed to see that into effect. They shut down the Niners all game, held CMC to just 23 rushing yards, limited Purdy to just 127 yards passing while sacking him three times, and didn’t panic when the offence left them with short fields to clean up.

Sam Darnold, who has an uncanny ability to mimic the passing success of his opponent, is possibly going to ride this D

right into Trent Dilfer’s 1999 Super Bowl ring.

I don’t even mind being wrong on the Over. After watching the decline of Russell Wilson and the fortunate incompetence of Geno Smith, I’ll take this run for what t’s worth. I’m already planning to go down for the Divisional Round. If they make it to the Conference championship, that’s BeerBrother’s game because WineWife can’t handle stress live.

Since I first typed this, it’s now official that they get the Niners on Saturday Night.

And with George Kittle tearing his hamstring, that makes Brock Purdy even more dangerous than ever. (The fewer tools that man has, the more lethal he becomes; it’s like a fucking Seagal movie.) Plus, if current Sam Darnold turns into 2025 Vikings playoffs Sam Darnold,

the Seattle defence is going to be busier than ever trying to will this team to the Conference championship.

Looking ahead to next year, the defence will win them more games than Sam Darnold will lose them. The difference will be that, unlike the Falcons, there’s more of a hole if something goes wrong. At least the Falcons’ Penix-Cousins combo had the promise of measurable results. The Seahawks currently have Drew Lock, who never took a snap he couldn’t underthrow, and Jalen Milroe, who only touched the ball three times the whole season yet somehow lost a fumble.

Drunken playoff prediction: ALL THE WAY, BABY!

Sober playoff prediction: A hard-fought victory over a hated opponent, another hated opponent on the horizon, with the ultimate goal being to avenge a wrong from a previous decade.