Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Got nuthin for yas, been busy and like, the whole, life thingy.  

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Jimbo

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Blood moon eclipse tomorrow night. I’m sure that’s not an omen or anything

Doktor Zymm

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Here ya go.

scotchnaut

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“Do you really think our middle son [90% of my stress] is ready to go to Iowa for college? He could stay out there the rest of his life.”

“Christ, whatever it costs I will pay.”

“You’re a real asshole.”

“25 years of marriage and you’re just now realizing this?”
jjfozz

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Nothing I like more than getting an in-person Court appearance that would have involved three hours of driving down time canceled, then logging on and finding that my employer has sent me three lesson plans, none of which have anything to do with what I do, that have to be completed over an estimated 2 hours of down time.
Horatio Cornblower

Every year I get assigned “your role in preventing workplace violence” .
My role is getting the F out if I see someone with a gun or I hear shots. None of this hide or fight back BS they talk about now.
Jimbo

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All the Bears fans are freaking out about their Pro Bowl center retiring at 27, but they’re forgetting the important thing: all of this is meaningless and we’re hurtling toward the inevitable heat death of the universe whilst accelerating humanity’s demise through technology and our own inhumanity.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Don’t know if we’ve discussed or not, but the NFLPA report cards came out a few days ago. Mostly what you would expect with a handful of surprises. Yinzburgh was basically shit across the board except for head coach, so another indication that next year has the potential to be an epic clusterfuck. I’m getting more and more curious how the AFC North is gonna play out next season and it’s still only March
Doktor Zymm

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Nobody:

Me: “SPIRIT! BOMB!”

Redshirt

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“Congratulations to Sharkbait, who edged SonOfSpam”
BeefReeferLives

Hey, I appreciated it.
SonOfSpam

…eventually
BeefReeferLives

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Ooo. Nice one from Dave @ The Draw Play today…

https://www.thedrawplay.com

(Sorry, RTD, but it’s funny cuz it’s true)

BeefReeferLives

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So it appears a U.S. Navy submarine sank an Iranian warship in the Indian Ocean and the “Department of War” is all tingling about it.

That’s like bragging about beating up a retarded kid. The MK-48 torpedo probably cost more than the ship it sank.
Brick Meathook

Question…do you think any soldiers or seamen or Marines like Hegseth’s schtick? Using “warfighters” and “lethality” and all the macho bullshit?

I wanna think everyone’s just rolling their eyes at him, but maybe some are bought in.
SonOfSpam

Probably. Young, dumb, and easily manipulated is the ideal, especially for infantry types. Submariners are smarter, because they have to do a lot more than point and shoot.
Gumbygirl

Boots in the infantry are young dumb and easily manipulated. After a while you get jaded by all the “ooh rah” bullshit this and “warrior ethos” that and wonder if your officers should be drug tested, and IQ tested because of the absolute stupid shit they think, say and do.

Excuse me, but I need to step away and tell that young LCpl NOT to marry that stripper, give her power of attorney AND not to buy that clapped out, used Hellcat Charger at 28% interest. (This flashback brought to you by the United States Marine Corps)
LemonJello

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Check out Mr. Alex here. In between inventing board games, he’s an actual bone-a-fide jounalmalist! Congrats, man! Thanks for the BotG Combine Edition!

If any of yinz are interested in coming here for the Draft, let me know. I’m working, but, more than happy to help with local Yinzer info, and perhaps a couch to crash on. Just call my work number, and tell whoever picks up that you know me. Kind of.
WCS

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Don T

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Last season Daniel Jones played several games with a fractured fibula and then suffered a ruptured Achilles. For 2026, the Colts put the transition tag. What’s Dimes gonna transition to? A cyborg?
/bows, blows kiss
Don T

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“Redshirt, why are you laughing?”
“Nothing. Go back to work.”

Redshirt

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If you’re going to be an idiot and drink hopelessly drunk, maybe try and not drive your vehicle into the wall of the closest fire department…

Fuck me, people are dumb.
WCS

That’s no way* to talk about the Secretary of War!

*this is absolutely the way to talk about that drunken re*ard assclown
LemonJello

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Check it out! Here’s the inside of my fucking head!

This is from the MRI I had in December (long story) but they pronounced my head and brain “no more abnormal than we expected.”

It took me this long to figure out how to get a copy of it, and I want to pick the best slice and print it and frame it and maybe use it as my official portrait.

(The image is like looking down on the top of my head. This slice includes my eyeballs at top and my brain or what’s left of it)

 

Brick Meathook

“I want to stick my dick in it.”

-Horatio’s DM to me that I promised not to share
scotchnaut

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Department meeting with lots of upper management.
Dipshit (not my) manager, commenting on my bald head: What, you joining the dark side?

Me: No. Love of my life has cancer. Dark enough?

Feathers falling would’ve been deafening.
I love times like these.
NotShogunButShogun

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As part of my retirement preparations and asset consolidation… I sold my car today. Wifeys car is newer with low milage and it’s registered Italian.
My trusty VW Golf TDI had 160k over 14 years. It was US specs and purchased tax free through the PX. To clear vehicle registration and by the SOFA and Italian law I had to sell it to another America or junk it. It’s made a young Warrent Officer happy because that puppy is mint condition.
Farewell good friend and many more safe miles and happy trails for your new pilot.
2Pack

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“Japan and Korea, long time rivals and not just in baseball…”

Holy shit WBC announcer dude, take two seconds to think about what you just said!!

“In addition to the baseball games there’s a long history of genocidal invasions and sexual slavery, but it’s nothing Godzilla can’t solve by bringing both countries together.”
Horatio Cornblower

Like the saying goes, those who don’t know history don’t have to worry about it
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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So to overshare something annoying and not horrific…

Had PTO this week. HOWEVER. We have audits due (will not explain further other than to say, stupid shitty busy work that I hate). So I worked all week, every single fucking vacation day, and got all my shit finished this afternoon. Next week will be 15 years at this company and man if certain people weren’t ruining the economy I’d be checking out other places, but I’m sticking with the devil I know. Anyway, definite first world problems, but this week sucked.

Thank you, please go back to staring at boobs and listening to new Sturgill.
SonOfSpam

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Car joke:

being a carless american is awesome. financial harm caused by rising oil prices won’t directly effect me, and secondary effects aren’t something we are trained to think about. when the time comes i’ll just blame the rising prices i do experience on supernatural causes. maybe goblins
rockingdog

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I larfed.

scotchnaut

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I have plans to satisfy the Dr. Mrs. today.

That’s right, we’re doing three loads of laundry.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Bread store, fruits and veggies purchased. Wifey carted around to admire and purchase herbs and candles. Lawn cut. Fertilizer procured for application tomorrow. Wifey’s car cleaned and detailed.

I deserve this pizza. Have a great weekend you guys.
2Pack

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Everyone break out the Trump 45-47 hats. Because the DOW futures just passed 47K and is screaming ass-first toward 45K.
Redshirt

pam bondi saying “the dow is over 50,000” is going to become the new “it was 28-3”
fleshwound_NPG

I made that joke last night to a stranger at the Kraken game when they went down 6-2 only to find out he’s a Falcons fan. Whoopsie doodles!
Mr. Ayo

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Lousy Smarch weather happening here. Milan derby on TV. Found some weed cookies in the freezer. Do I know the strength? Nope. There are 4 total, imma start with one and see what we get in an hour. Hopefully nicely high.
litre_cola

Freezer Score!! So great when that happens. My buddy found the better part of an ounce of shrooms encased in ice in the back of his freezer back in college.
BeefReeferLives

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litre_cola
litre_cola
Editor
Reply to BeefReeferLives
March 8, 2026 3:49 pm
I think at the bottom of the chest freezer is some weed butter BC Dick gave me a long time ago. It is so damn strong which is probably why I haven’t used it in a few years. If you take too much it feels like LSD.
litre_cola

The one time I made edibles for a group of friends I worried that I had failed in my canna butter extraction because no one who ate the brownies said anything about them.

The next day they told me “I was too busy trying to figure out where my arms went to compliment your brownies.”

Still mildly proud of that.
obscurejones

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Well, at least Trump saw this coming and filled the Strategic Oil Reserve.

Oh wait, last summer he sad he would when the price was right.

ART OF THE DEAL.
SonOfSpam

Moar like FART OF THE DEAL.
Jimbo

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March 8, 2026 9:26 pm
One step closer to this whole stupid system crashing and burning.

Exclusive: Kraken has won access to the Fed's core payment systems, making it the first crypto firm to be able to move money on the same rails used by banks and credit unions.

— The Wall Street Journal (@wsj.com) 2026-03-08T03:44:01.527748Z

Unsurprised

This is not what I wanted when saying Release the Kraken.
Mr. Ayo

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Finish from the L.A. Marathon today. The American guy sprinted past the Kenyan guy in the last few yards. I can’t think of a worse close-second finish than after running 26.2 miles.

SonOfSpam

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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