There’s not many of these football-free Mondays left when you think about it-only 17 more after this one. And we all know that time is going to fly by like the motherfucker he is. Hockey and basketball will carry us into June, the oh-so-tainted World Cup will follow and those that follow the baseball will be fine and dandy. And then our beloved football will rear its head, and despite every preseason ever being really shitty, we’ll watch some of it. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Majors in golf, tennis, horseracing, carjockeying*, sweaty men hurting each other, bicycling and of course the FIBA 3X3 World Cup and the World Rhythmic Gymnastics Championship in Frankfurt, Germany. I’m such a snob, amirite?

*perhaps Ayo could do a preview of 24 Hours of/at(?) Lemans, just thinking out loud because we’ve not had many car racey intros.

So some football news that I stumbled across is that the first Sunday Night game of the season will be the Giants hosting the Cowboys. (Horatio, I challenge thee to a hatewatch) Dallas has won 24 of the last 25 matchups, I’m sure and it’s best to give these teams a Prime Timer as early in the season as possible while interest is at it’s very peak. Fox Sports is featuring both Nabers and Sk8erboi even though both may not be ready by opening week.

I was scanning some NFL stat sites, as I tend to do when I get the insurance invoice for our fleet. Has the cost gone up 30k in two years? Why yes, it has. Hold up, let me get back on track.

I was looking at “most drops by players” and Jameson Williams was 1st with 12 and lo and behold Sun God was 3rd with 10. This is a bit of a puzzler because-as far as I know-Goff doesn’t throw balls that could be considered ‘wonky’ and besides, this metric assumes to cover passes that bounce off the mitts. The other fella that stood out was R.J. Harvey-the only RB in the top 15-having 7. That’s kinda brutal if he’s your pressure release valve when things get dicey.

Anyone Remember Tank Dell?:

I know that myself and Dok do. In worrying news, he’s not quite ready for OTA’s just yet. I hope it’s a situation of team doctors being extraordinarily careful with his progress but Jeebuz, he went down in December of ’24. I’d love to take a flyer on him in the last round of a draft but then I recall that Stroud has regressed so much from that year.

Do you have a sneaky last-round fantasy pick that you’re thinking about? Don’t worry, no one will remember, the chips in our bloodstream from the Covid vaccine guarantee that.

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do we have any Minnesotans in the clubhouse?

SonOfSpam

You betcha, here’s a hot dish.

(presents self)

Doktor Zymm

Lions @ Bills week 2 Thursday night game

Horatio Cornblower

I will be there for the Giants-Cowboys Hate Watch.

I will likely not be sober.

Doktor Zymm

It’s gonna be fun, even MOAR fun than GIANT COWBOYS which probably wouldn’t be fun at all now that I think about it. More horrifying really.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I ever get selected as a contestant on The Running Man I demand that Kash Patel be put in charge of The Hunters.

https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/nancy-guthrie-100-days-since-savannah-guthries-mom-went-missing

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY JAMESON WILLIAMS I CALL HIM KASH PATEL BECAUSE CATCHING IS HIS JOB BUT HE OFTEN FAILS AT IT.

King Hippo

Well, shit. Craig Morton (of my very earliest Donks WOO!! memories) died.

He also Superb Owl’d with the Cowpersons, but we’ll forgive that.

Don T

Morton will meet Job’s wife in heaven, bond over terrible puns

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a Lot going on here

SonOfSpam

Oh a margarita DOES sound good.

jjfozz

Fucking remote missing. Again. We don’t live in the fucking Taj Mahal.

Doktor Zymm

That would be a hell of a commute

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did you check the vacuum bag? Sometimes our ends up in there.

Horatio Cornblower

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve carried the remote into the kitchen while getting a snack, then left it there, wandered back into the TV room and then spent ten minutes wondering where the fucking remote was, I’d have Applebee’s money.

And I do have Applebee’s money.

What I’m saying is, check the kitchen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s always the first place I look. Next is the pantry. And third is the Arby’s that opened up at the end of the block.” – Coach Reid

2Pack

Been there…
/ multiple times…

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King Hippo

but what if you COULD?

Doktor Zymm

Then it would 100% be in the vacuum, what with those thousands of tourists tracking dirt over all the carpets

blaxabbath

I put a tile on ours. But I’m also the only one with the Tile app.

SonOfSpam

Without the fucking remote you gotta work the Fleshlight by hand.

So to speak.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Some cool ppl made an RPG game about Trump/Operation Epic Fury

Apparently one of the ways you loose the game is by holding Melanias hand lol

https://www.epicfurious.com/

rockingdog

🍻

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rockingdog

🇺🇸

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rockingdog

Putin is a horse man lmao

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rockingdog

You can play it on a web browser. They also set it up as an arcade game too…👾

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is at the DC War Memorial on the Mall. I may have to see if it’s still there tomorrow since that’s pretty close to where we have footy practice.

Doktor Zymm

Oh wow, this looks amazing

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just noticed the “lube acquired” bar.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And now I just noticed that they misspelled it as “aquired”.

Doktor Zymm

I love how tiny Marco Rubio is!

Doktor Zymm

Tank Dell is to lower body injuries what Tua is to ‘back spasms’

I assume Sk8erboi will be fine since the really dumb ones usually have some sort of mutant healing factor, like all the energy the body saves by only having to deal with 2 or 3 synapses goes towards rebuilding soft tissue

Very much looking forward to the schedule release, to figure out a game or two to try and go see

King Hippo

Hippo is back as well. Think I shall go sleepy time now.

Since racing cars was brung up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyY12mEg7Rw

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aaaaand I’m back

jjfozz

Are you back, back in the New York groove?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

More like back in the trying to plan a flight out of BWI funk

WCS

the Majors in golfcomment image

Tees off Thursday!

Jordan Speith has his now seventh chance to complete the career grand slam (winning all four majors), but hasn’t been playing well at all for over year now. Scottie Scheffler is the defending champ, and a heavy favorite to win. Rory’s been back to playing like 2010-2013 Rory. Rory’s the latest of six golfers to capture the grand slam, after winning last year’s Masters. He decided he enjoyed all the perks that came with it, so went out and became the first player to win consecutive green jackets last month since Nick Faldo in 1989-90. There’s suddenly like 15 guys named “Cameron” who are winning tournaments, including 2022 Open Champ Cameron Smith, and Cameron Young who won The PLAYERS (yes, that’s it’s official title) in March. 2024 PGA Champ Xander Schauffle, Russell Hanley, and Viktor Havland are others that should be in the fix. It’s also got John Daly in the field! That’s always worth mentioning.

It’s being played At Aronimink in Newton Square, Pennsyltucky, outside Philly. The late, great tWBS and I found ourselves watching the 2019 PGA outside DC, when we both happened to be in the area at the same time. Seamus may have won some money that week, putting some cash on eventual winner Brooks Koepka.

I’m looking forward to it. This has been your WCS Nobody Cares About Golf But I’m Telling Yinz Anyway Update. Blame scotchy for bringing it up.

Last edited 10 hours ago by WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: Cameron is what the New York Jets didn’t tell their players was the nature and the status of the surveillance devices that were installed in the locker room

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/jprr20/jets_players_alert_nflpa_about_hidden_locker_room/

Don T

Started watching “Sunderland ‘Til I Die”. So far, it’s been as uplifting as “Midnight Express”.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, you kind of know how it ends

ballsofsteelandfury

Giants v Cowboys in the first SNF game?

I hope Collinsworth has been doing his throat/jaw exercises!

jjfozz

I’ll be watching and waiting for “Harbaugh Confused Face”, “Harbaugh Fucking Up the Clock Face”, “Harbaugh Blowing a 14 Point Lead Face.”

WCS

Glad to see you’re alright.

jjfozz

Right as rain.

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