Monday Morning Mock Draft: Action!

Guten Tag, drones.

Today is my first day back at work after a two-week vacation.  They say a good vacation has you chomping at the bit to get back to work and get back at it.  If that’s true then this vacation sucked because, if I may quote the (presumably) late scrivener, Bartleby, “I would prefer not.”

I am, suffice to say, reasonably confident that, when I am able to retire, finding meaning in my day-to-day life outside of a job is not going to be a problem.

That said, I am back at work and smack into the middle of an expert’s deposition at 10:00 am.  What kind of asshole schedules something like that for their first day back after two weeks off when it’s already going to be a disaster zone?

This guy.

Although,

the expert kind of controls the date and time.  Be an expert, kids; it pays well and you can screw with everyone else’s schedule.

Anyway, that point of all that, (other than building the word count), is to say that I had a couple of good topics lined up, but I also want to participate in those good topics and I likely can’t, so we’re going to go with something else that I’m not as committed to.

Action Stars!

Now, an important rule that will almost certainly be violated:  Once the actor, or actress, is drafted, they are gone for ALL action roles.  Doesn’t matter if you want Stallone for Rocky but someone already took him for Rambo:  Once he’s gone, he’s gone for all roles.

Also Rocky probably shouldn’t be considered an action movie but that’s a debate for another time.

With the first pick I take the King of Action Movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger.  You probably figured that from the featured image.

The rest of you are on the clock.  Hopefully I’ll catch up with the later parts of the draft.

 

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Gumbygirl

Last one!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

7. And finally, the Bronny to the LeBron of my first round pick: Brandon Lee. This scene from his first movie Rapid Fire remains one of my favorite fight scenes ever. To think of what might have been…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk7E8Crwtdo

Gatoraids
Senor Weaselo

2nd pick: Donnie Yen. Gimme Ip Man and Caine
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ladies and gentlemen…welcome to our disease.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0kMcRy18Dk

scotchnaut

Can’t believe Rudy Ray Moore is still on the board, motherfuckers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5-4IB5vgJY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[checks carefully]

6. Matt Damon. Mainly for the Bourne movies but he’s got some other decent action-based stuff on his resume as well.

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Brocky

Bridgette Wilson

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why is she mad at me? What did I do?

NotShogunButShogun

You know…

Brocky

You got caught looking up her skirt when she was boarding the school bus

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did what? I never!

Gumbygirl

.

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Gatoraids

Iko Iwais – Raid 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Taq67POlvWU

rip hammer girl

scotchnaut

I’ll take THE BOZ. He’s the star of Stone Cold, One Tough Bastard and Midnight Heat. He also appeared in an episode of Murdoch Mysteries last year!

boz
Senor Weaselo

Good afternoon, getting in now and gonna start with Sonny Chiba. You may know him as Hattori Hanzo in Kill Bill, but I know him from this.
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scotchnaut

Some know her as Ilana Wajc, others know her as Chesty Morgan, star of two action movies, “Deadly Weapons” and “Agent 73”.

chesty
Brick Meathook

Steven Seagal

Screenshot-2026-07-13-at-5-29-30-PM
Brick Meathook

Lewis Wilson

Screenshot-2026-07-13-at-5-17-19-PM
Gumbygirl

Sam Neill. RIP

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

A self Blair Witch, those are rare

Doktor Zymm

Handy if you need to land a plane too!
https://youtu.be/iSi6iF9kVBs

Brocky

Carl weathers

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see tax evasion has let Wesley Snipes fall in this draft. Yoink.

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