Monday Morning Mock Draft: Screw You, I’m On Vacation This Week

I took this week off as I usually do, because we get the 4th off and I get a 5-day vacation for the price of 4!  THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!!

Which also means I likely won’t be around much tomorrow, but I will be around more than I thought I would, because my original plan was to go climb some New Hampshire mountains that exceed 4,000 feet, something I last did in 1997.  In 1998 se had our first kid.  We are now empty-nesters.  Are those things related to each other?  MAYBE!

The weather forecast for the Mt. Washington area, however, is basically a 50-60% chance of thunderstorms for most of the week and unless you want to make the newspaper for all the wrong reasons you do not want to be above treelined when one of those things comes rolling through.  I once spent the night in the woods well below the summit of one of the Tripyramids, (a series of peaks in NH that exceed 4,000′.  Bonus points if you guess how many), and that was scary enough.

So that’s out, but I’ll probably still stay up until 2 am and get up at 11, as God intended.

Anyway, Scotchy is again the brains behind the topic this week, (Rikki also had one in the running, but then I realized (a month after he gave me the topic), that he was moving a dwarf joke), and it’s ‘One-Hit Wonders,’ but only for sports.  Mayhaps one day we’ll draft musical acts.  In fact I can pretty much guarantee that we will.

With the first pick Scotchy takes someone named Andrew Hammond, who was apparently known as The Hamburger.  I don’t have a fucking clue who this guy is.  TO THE GOOGLES!!

Ah, Hammond is a hockey goalie who had a hell of a rookie season for the Ottawa Senators in 2014-2015 and is now retired, having washed out of the KHL after two games with Tract Chelyabinsk.  “Washing out” is unfair, (which is why I said it); it appears from his Wikipedia that Andrew was motivated to return to North America, and really, who could blame him?

With the second pick I will take Brady Anderson.  In 1996, whilst playing for the Orioles of Baltimore, Anderson hit 50 home runs and had 110 RBIs.  He never hit more than half that many HRs again, (nor had he before), and the closest he ever got in RBIs would be 81.  Anderson is a classic one-hit wonder in the world of sports, and apropos of nothing I believe ’96 is generally considered the start of the steroid era in baseball.

A reminder, just in case anyone, (Blax), skips to the bottom and doesn’t know quite what we’re doing here:  One-year wonders, sports only.   Rikki’s in charge, assuming he reads this far.

The rest of you are on the clock.  I’m going to get drunk.