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Opening the Season with Grace
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[…] Massachusetts took the day off because some thug broke the law. And, speaking of thugs, they have Cam Newton, you […]
Broncos fans want “their” Caucasoid fullback to have a simpler name, preferably three to four letters.
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Holy shit, I used to work for a guy named Dennis Lewis! If you threw in a little more casual racism and complaints about his family being ungrateful, you’d hit the douche on the bag!
P.S. – I think that if you actually planned ahead, instead of being like my lousy wife who can’t even pack me a decent lunch in the morning before a busy day of yoga and waiting for Maria to come clean the house, then many of your run plays wouldn’t just be “if Funchess is covered, n-word rig a QB run to the sidelines and try to avoid any defenders trying to slam your brain into the inside of your skull.”
Also, I’m having trouble with my Word updating. Can you send in Low Commander to see if this has to do with me setting up new contacts on my iPhone.
Annnd yup, you just made my god damn day.
Coworker: Hey, what’re you laughing at?
Me: NOTHING!
Football would be perfect if not for all the people
Problem: Smug Bearded Guy isn’t in either of the cars when they collide.
I hate that guy. I don’t know what it is about automobile commercials that they just always have the least likable stars. This guy, the Ford Truck voice over guy “Remember those SMART GUYS from science class we used to cheat off of? Well they built the alloy frame!”, and the Mazda voiceover guy are on the top of my list.
It makes the year-end Clarence event commercials quite palatable.
The Ford voice is that shitheel Denis Leary, isn’t it?
I would buy that.
Doesn’t change my opinion though.
I miss Mike Rowe
I miss David Leisure.
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I think the Mazda guy s Aaron Paul.
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That really bums be out. Especially because he isn’t like, “Drive this Mazda, BITCH!”
Solution: Car B needs to move the fuck out of the left-hand lane!
Remember, the defense diving at Cam’s head WAS NOT the fault of the defense. I just want to make it clear that the defense attempting to decapitate Cam WAS NOT the fault of the defense.
But, you know, shame on Cam for flossing on the sideline.
“Listen, I’m not saying that flossing isn’t a key component of good dental hygiene. I’m just saying you don’t want to get carried away.”
– Michael Strahan
I’m shocked he didn’t bring up Cam trying to play up to BIG DENTIST with the sideline flossing.
Always trying to ingratiate himself to the Chili Brothers.
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THAT’S NOT A LEADER!
The flossing story is a great example of how bullshit stupid the media is – and fuck unions. (Don’t get angry with me, I have my reasons.)
Re: your last point – oh, I’ve tried, many many times, but those pesky bodyguards of hers and that STUPID JUDGE BERSTEIN NO YOU KEEP A DISTANCE OF AT LEAST 500 YARDS have made it quite difficult.
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What is the name of this person? For, uhh, research purposes
Hear fucking HEAR!
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