Diet Lesser Footy Weekend

No, this is not a #HippoLyf reference, I am still a fat fuck who will remain such.

Just…not much in the way of viewing.  Our Kraut pals at Treyverkeusen look to wrap up their “Invincibles” status in the Bundesliga, home against Augsburg (9:30, ESPN+).  Nothing else matters there, to my knowledge.

After that, you “get” to see who is promoted into the 2024-25 Championship, as Wembley hosts Bolton and Oxford (11:15, ESPN+) in the League One playoff final.  Classic story here, the humbled giant against the minnow upstart.  Oxford call themselves the “U’s” because sometimes Brits are very un-creative like that.

Tomorrow, tune into USA to see King’s Afrikan Water Pistols finish a very strong 2nd, by mauling “somehow on 40 points” Everton.  A second place with PROMISE, if you will.  It won’t matter, unless Retiring Dour Ginger Cunt David Moyes has a shocker up his sleeve away to City of Men (11:00, NBC).

Speaking of, I miss Faye Reagan.  She and Georgia Jones were such a cute couple, you know?

Yeah, I know this was brief.  I tweaked my lower back on Wednesday (or was it Thursday?), and am MOAR doped up than usual.  Talk amongst yourselves.