Sexy Friday – 20240517

TGIF! One of the great benefits of writing this weekly post is I copy the last week’s template. Which means I get to relive all the pictures from the last week. That benefit was totally annulled thanks to RTD’s inspired topic for Request Line this week. Thank you, Tina!

Survival – Personal Edition

Anyway, it’s also wedding season! Like many of us, we’ve acquired and amassed proper attire for such events. And, like some of us, that attire was sized for a smaller version of ourselves. Today, we’re going to address those of us that have a proper tux that has apparently shrunk during its most recent cleaning.

  • Have a little chat with the other groomsmen and, if possible, the waiters for the event. See if you can’t find someone with a tux that you can swap with for a proper fit for both of you. Although remind them that it’s more important that you look good than them.
  • The main one, the waist band on those stupid pants that weren’t tailored correctly. Fortunately, this is a tux. So you can do this life hack thanks to the fashionable cummerbund. If cummerbunds aren’t on the table, a properly wide belt will also work. Anyway, the life hack is safety pins or paper clips. Link them together and secure them on each side of the waistband to hold things together. Also, don’t forget about them when you have to use the bathroom, tubby.
  • With a tux, the pants aren’t that special actually. Just get a cheap pair of black pants. Make sure they fit so you don’t have to do the previous step. Then, to spice things up, grab your roll of black electrical tape. Measure it out to the length of your pants, then cut it in half lengthwise, then apply to the sides of your pants. Tada! Tux pants!
  • If your jacket doesn’t fit, just keep it unbuttoned. Unless you’re in a Chris Farley in a little coat situation, it will appear to fit.
  • So the jacket still kinda fits, but the sleeves are obviously short. This is where you show off your cuff link and watch game. Those will distract from the misfit. Further hide this issue by keeping your arms slightly bent at all times.
  • Your shirt might be a little, or a lot, tight at the collar. No problem! This is a tux affair which means you have a bow tie. Proper or clip-on, doesn’t matter. Grab a couple of rubber bands, thread them through the button holes, and loop them over the collar button.

That’s a good enough start. I’ll cover other aspects of the gentlemen’s attire in future editions.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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fleshwound_NPG

good. do not have to watch boring peter deboer hockey anymore

fleshwound_NPG
  1. call on the ice was no goal
  2. goalie stick was tangled with opposing player
  3. whatever, goalie interference is made up
Horatio Cornblower

Susan Sarandon is kind of batshit, but good lord.

https://x.com/youwouldntpost/status/1791603071019344056

Doktor Zymm

Nawt the most horrible nightmare. Unless the gin turns into spiders.

Doktor Zymm

It’s okay, they’re probably cute spiders!

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Horatio Cornblower

If I played the point position for an NHL team, or for that matter any hockey team, I would never not take a slap shot when I got the puck. Doesn’t matter what the play is, how many guys are between me and the net, even if I’m sober: that puck gets passed to me at the point it’s going to get heaved at the net with a quickness.

I should point out that this is strictly hypothetical. I can barely skate in a circle. Standing on skates and actually taking a shot is something miles past my capabilities.

2Pack

Why’s lady number 3 looking so sad? She’s at the beach. I’d take her for a walk. She’d be smiling like this fine gal in no time. Nice job Mr Ayo.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Jesus, I’d love to help her with her back issues!

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way that’s real.

2Pack

Yeah I think some got creative… but still…

2Pack

An nobody bitches about Bricks photo shops so I felt moving in this direction would be alright.

Am I wrong?

ballsofsteelandfury

I ain’t complaining.

Besides, if she’s Italian, there’s a healthy chance those are real. I have a friend at work that’s Italian and hers are about that size.

2Pack

There is a lady who runs a bar at the beach we go to who I swear is that big. And good looking too.

Brick Meathook

I highly approve of this image

Brick Meathook

General Ulysses S Grant just after Lee’s surrender.

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Brick Meathook

Meanwhile, his most trusted lieutenant, General William Tecumseh Sherman, has just led an army group south from Chattanooga, sacked Atlanta, marched across Georgia living off the land, securing Savannah as a supply base, and then marched north towards Grant through rainy swamps and rivers, building their own roads and bridges as they went and making 12 miles a day with 100,000 men and just as many beasts, who all have to be fed every day. Confederate general Joe Johnston called it “the greatest army since Julius Caesar.”

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2Pack

Which is why we named a tank after the guy.

Doktor Zymm

When people have headphones in and therefore don’t realize that their phone is blasting I’m willing to give them a pass if they’re old, but if they’re younger than me? Screw em

2Pack

If you can isolate them, I’ve found that flash bang grenades really impress people like that.

Brick Meathook

Always one of my favorites:

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

Abraham Lincoln conspirator Lewis Powell just prior to his execution. They told him a pretty good joke, and then they hanged him. Historical fact.

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Horatio Cornblower

The joke ended with the line “other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

Brick Meathook

Lewis Powell: Ha ha that’s a good one

Brick Meathook

Tom Brady after his meds run out:

https://postimg.cc/bsPZf4bL

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

TB120

fleshwound_NPG

avs fans like me should not worry that much about tonight’s game against the ice cowboys

1. they showed some guts in game 5 to force this game
2. the bigger worry is all the questions after the season (landeskog, drouin, the guy that shall not be named)
3. core is still super young (i have pubes older than cale makar)
4. lol they are not boston

fleshwound_NPG

and holy shit, NYR and FLA are fucking wagons right now, with destiny (party like its 1994) squarely on the side of the ice gints

rockingdog

Found a funny:

My posts are but a mirror. If you see good posts then you have joy in your heart, and if you see bad posts then you carry misery with you. If you wish for my posts to improve, you must first improve yourself

Dunstan

HA HA HA FUCK YOU BRUINS

Fantastic start to the weekend.

fleshwound_NPG

take a look at bawstahns playoff record against teams not named the leafs in the last decade and sit back and lol all night

Brocky

I just always go back to this video

https://youtu.be/S-h46vxck4g?si=jTj9KuwxSOVvs6QK

fleshwound_NPG

ill help ya, skip to the 3 min mark and LOLLOLOLOLLLOOOLLOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpvcBCMhP3Y

fleshwound_NPG

(thanks alot vancouver)

fleshwound_NPG

THIS IS NAWT HAPPENING AGAIN TO THE BROOINS!!! WHAT THE FACK!!! WE AREAH HAWNTED BY THE GHOST OF TAWMMY BRAHDY FOREVEAH!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Someone on the Bruins should absolutely hammer Bennett in the handshake line.

fleshwound_NPG

WHAT THE FACK WAS THAT SWAHYMAHNN?!?!

DJ TAJ

So lost, I’m found

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Senor Weaselo

Not a fan of this slider sauce on the bun, and don’t get me started on coleslaw, but the Reaper drew tears and is legit. Done and dusted though, now to use the Mac and cheese to help cook my jets.

King Hippo

cole slaw is an abomination before God and man. And I is from The South!

King Hippo

Was trying to think whether I’ve been to a wedding since my divorce (many moons ago). Pretty sure I haven’t.

And if my daughters all elope and/or put off marital bliss long enough for me to die? Golly gee, I never WILL!

Brocky

Alright, I’ll post some more

Spoiler

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ballsofsteelandfury

Very nice!

2Pack

Wow.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

🎶🏔️🌊

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Brocky

Flipping solo sikoa stealing my look

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Game Time Decision

NLL playoffs game one on TSN or ESPN+

scotchnaut

Ron Maclean needs an Order of Canada because he’s a decent guy and he dialed in Don Cherry’s incredible shittyness for multiple decades.

Game Time Decision

Still don’t get why Cherry is even a thing.

Dunstan

Did he? Or did he sit there and coyly say “oh, you!” when Cherry was being ridiculous?

rockingdog

And then they score 2 more from a couple more singles and a Braves error!!!!

Now it’s 3-1! ⚾️
That’s Rockingggg!!!

Goooo Padres!

rockingdog

Padres score a run on a Profar RBI
Now it’s tied 1-1!!! ⚾️

That’s Rocking!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

5, 6, and 10. All day every day and twice on Sunday.

Brocky

Here was my wedding attire last year,

Can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of tunes

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Brocky

*fan of tuxes jesus christ auto correct

Horatio Cornblower

That’s some A++ matching, sir.

Brocky

The red and black attack

Never fails

Horatio Cornblower

Carolina Hurricanes: comment image

scotchnaut
Brick Meathook

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Brocky

To be clear, neither of these were my wedding,

And again, red and black

Brocky

Alright, something a little different this week.

Please, if you’re gonna comment, leave no Spoilers

Spoiler

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha!

Horatio Cornblower

“That’s so close to my fetish!”

-Jeffrey Dahmer

Game Time Decision

Coming to an arena near you

2Pack

I’m fine with it.

Doktor Zymm

I think all my marriagable friends are married already, or at least the ones that might invite me. I have a lot more options for things to wear though, and I think my formal pyjamas would also be appropriate for weddings!

Brocky

I think my formal pyjamas

They’re called kimonos thank you very much

rockingdog

Padres vs Braves! ⚾️
Hopefully this game is Rocking!!!

Goooo Padres!

Brick Meathook

Father of the B-2

King Hippo

1, 2, 7, 9. So, so very good. Especially love 7’s disapproving look.

Senor Weaselo

Hot damn, there’s a hot chicken truck in front of the bank, and I’m on my own for dinner (because Senorita Weaselo is playing an opera in the Boogie Down tonight, and I’m getting her food later). Which means a brief House of Pain quote!

Guy in truck: How spicy?
Senor: How Reaper is your Reaper?
Guy in truck: It’s spicy.
Senor: Hit me.

I got the slider and tender combo with mac and cheese so we’ll be back later to see if I feel like dying on the FDR Drive.

Doktor Zymm

Seems about right

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King Hippo

I can just imagine Rikki seething that Week 10 thingamabob

Doktor Zymm

Oof, bad news, the Chefs are playing your Donks in week 10

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m already seething.

Senor Weaselo

I mean I would expect nothing different.

rockingdog

Hahaha!

That’s Rocking!

Doktor Zymm

The marina employee might be a woman?

Horatio Cornblower

Seems kind of optimistic that Rasheed Rice will last that long.

Game Time Decision

No way Butcker lasts to week 8 with the Swifties against him

Horatio Cornblower

We should see if we can get him to slur Koreans. The combined fury of the Swifties and the BTS Army will not only get rid of him before training camp opens, but likely also provide enough clean energy to get the Earth through whatever year Hippo’s Footy Manager is currently in.