SEX DOLL DILDO CATALOGS.
Allow me to explain and/or provide some context. As we have mentioned in the past, we get a lot of random emails at DFO HQ. Some are from dumb German law firms, some are from websites looking to “collaborate” in some weird unspecified manner, and some are from businesses looking to network. Hence, the email below:
The Maestro, of course, knew exactly who to forward it to. We are in the process of acquiring said catalog for a future post (meaning I begged The Maestro to reply YES) but, in the meantime, I’ve spent quite a bit of time ANALyzing the offer, for your benefit. As always, I have some questions…
- Why are the dildos in the middle row on the far right picture censored while the others on Row One and Row Three are not?
- Is it “dildos” or “dildoes”?
- Would our Canadian friends spell it “dildous”?
- Isn’t it cute that each ball gets its own censor circle?
- Are the Dildos in Row 2 censored because they are manual while Row 1 and Row 3 dildoes are remote control?
- Is that a clit tickler on Row 3 or are we talking about a two-penis dildo?
- If the latter, do we call that the Horatio Household model?
- Are we really expected to believe that those breasts are MID sized?
- Why do all the sex dolls have black eyes?
- Do they want to avoid a Katya situation where the user thinks he’s fucking a 68 Camaro?
- Is there something magical about a girl that’s 5 foot 4.173 inches?
- Will Americans ever learn the metric system?
- Is this the incentive they need to adopt it?
- 12 centimeters seems a lot longer than 4 inches, amirite?
- Not to complain, but why is the butt opening shorter than the vagina opening?
- Isn’t it obvious I wasn’t consulted on this design?
- Where are the Latina Blonde models with giant tits and giant asses and a voice modulator that calls you “Papi”?
- Considering the Rose Vibrator retails between $65 and $85 and we can pick them up here for the low low price of $17 a pop, how much fucking money are those online sex stores making?
- Isn’t it nice that the handy dandy drawing gives the proper technique of pinching your nipple while engaging the Rose Pro 7?
- Would you really put the Woo on your nipple, though?
- I mean, where does the vibrating dildo part go?
- Are you giving yourself a vibrating titty fuck with the added bonus of a nipple licking there?
- Would you buy lingerie for your Chinese Sex Doll?
- If so, would you get it from Shein or Temu to complete the theme?
- How many units should I order?
Would our Canadian friends spell it “dildous”?
That seems like an adjective, like “I’ve always found Brett Favre to be extremely dildous”
Since these are from China, I wonder if there are tariffs?
Who will introduce the Fucktoy Freedom Act in Congress to stop this????
Boebert would raise a hand, but they’re both, uh,”occupied” right now…
I never believed that there was such a thing as too much (consensual, and with an adult) sex, but if you’ve reached the point where “buy a 5’4″ hunk of plastic with mid boobs to fuck” well, I may have to rethink that one.
Says the guy with a sex dwarf on retainer/living in his basement…
There’s a pool table, dart board, fold out couch and cable TV in the basement, which is also the coolest room in the house this time of year. He should be so lucky.
See what happens when you buy a season pass? What was I there 6 weeks ago and now going again? If any of you folks are at Knott’s Berry Farm today say hello, I’ll be the old guy with a ponytail wearing a Ramones t-shirt.Now where are my gummies?
We were actually in the area a couple of week ago looking at senior apartments for my mother-in-law. We actually joked about getting her a season pass.
Don’t forget, this afternoon, 3p EST…
Krauts! Kilts! WHO YA GOT???
Not beer apparently
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/article/bars-run-dry-as-tartan-army-arrives-in-munich-for-euro-2024-762l3h72s
GERMAN pubs running out of beer is just shocking. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Decent chance they invade Belgium just to restock.
Not like they don’t know the way.
Merry First Ballmas.
Considering those dolls are only about 5’4′ they may actually be mid-sized breasts on a much taller doll. But then, I am a boob man so I really want to see what they call large or xxl on on of those dolls. I would take one each of the dolls listed, as those sorority lesbian sex scenes won’t act themselves out.
“They also don’t write themselves, either.” – a frustrated screenwriter, trying to get sleazy Hollywood producers DTZM and RTD to actually pay his invoice
/the invoice is paid in dildos
Had the same reaction on “MID”
Right?!?
I assume the ‘mid’ is just in reference to the other models of doll rather than any reference point involving actual people
Order a set for the whole platoon. Its our birthday after all.
Happy Birthday Army… you don’t look a day over 248…
And… This We’ll Defend!