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SEX DOLL DILDO CATALOGS.
Allow me to explain and/or provide some context. As we have mentioned in the past, we get a lot of random emails at DFO HQ. Some are from dumb German law firms, some are from websites looking to “collaborate” in some weird unspecified manner, and some are from businesses looking to network. Hence, the email below:
The Maestro, of course, knew exactly who to forward it to. We are in the process of acquiring said catalog for a future post (meaning I begged The Maestro to reply YES) but, in the meantime, I’ve spent quite a bit of time ANALyzing the offer, for your benefit. As always, I have some questions…
- Why are the dildos in the middle row on the far right picture censored while the others on Row One and Row Three are not?
- Is it “dildos” or “dildoes”?
- Would our Canadian friends spell it “dildous”?
- Isn’t it cute that each ball gets its own censor circle?
- Are the Dildos in Row 2 censored because they are manual while Row 1 and Row 3 dildoes are remote control?
- Is that a clit tickler on Row 3 or are we talking about a two-penis dildo?
- If the latter, do we call that the Horatio Household model?
- Are we really expected to believe that those breasts are MID sized?
- Why do all the sex dolls have black eyes?
- Do they want to avoid a Katya situation where the user thinks he’s fucking a 68 Camaro?
- Is there something magical about a girl that’s 5 foot 4.173 inches?
- Will Americans ever learn the metric system?
- Is this the incentive they need to adopt it?
- 12 centimeters seems a lot longer than 4 inches, amirite?
- Not to complain, but why is the butt opening shorter than the vagina opening?
- Isn’t it obvious I wasn’t consulted on this design?
- Where are the Latina Blonde models with giant tits and giant asses and a voice modulator that calls you “Papi”?
- Considering the Rose Vibrator retails between $65 and $85 and we can pick them up here for the low low price of $17 a pop, how much fucking money are those online sex stores making?
- Isn’t it nice that the handy dandy drawing gives the proper technique of pinching your nipple while engaging the Rose Pro 7?
- Would you really put the Woo on your nipple, though?
- I mean, where does the vibrating dildo part go?
- Are you giving yourself a vibrating titty fuck with the added bonus of a nipple licking there?
- Would you buy lingerie for your Chinese Sex Doll?
- If so, would you get it from Shein or Temu to complete the theme?
- How many units should I order?
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