Now is the Time of Monsters: Tuesday Open Thread

Holy shitsnacks, it’s here! It’s finally here!

Almost seven months of waiting, watching, speculation and just plain Bullshit has finally led us here. In two days, The Harvest will finally commence.

It’s gonna be a weird one. With the exception of Aaron Rodgers (and arguably Kirk Cousins) the Old World has effectively died. And with Mahomes, Lamar and Josh Allen occupying three of the four spots on QB Mount Rushmore for the foreseeable (3+ years) future, the question is who has a shot at the Teddy Roosevelt slot. Joe Burrow and Tua are talented but have a 17% chance of being permanently crippled on any given play. Herbert looks the part, but has he been Mark Prior’d so long he’s useless? Jalen Hurts looked like a contender, but now he’s Big Mad at the coaching staff and has too much gametape for defenses to pick apart. Modern day Kurt Warner Brock Purdy? Modern day Vince Young Kyler Murray? Modern day Kyler Murray Caleb Williams?

I think we are making a lot of assumptions that teams will Build On Last Year that are unwarranted. The Lions? Empty threat. Houston? Regress to the mean. Green Bay? No way. Pittsburgh?

Wait, no one thinks Pittsburgh will break 9-8.

I do think it’s going to be a frustrating year to pick individual games, because the Muddled Middle (teams on track to be 7-10 to 10-7) is going to be very large again this year. Remember how the Packers and Bengals were pretty good last year, while the Broncos and Raiders both played like ass? There was one game separating them! Madness abounds in the Age of Parity!

NFL NEWS:

-San Francisco finally got it’s house in order, signing Brandon Aiyuk and Trent Williams to extensions. Blind Squirrel. Nut. Etc.

-Ja’Marr Chase is playing chicken with Mike Brown, holding-in and threatening to miss the Bengals season opener if he doesn’t get a reworked deal. Normally I’d say Pay the Man His Money, but I frankly don’t want to see him piss away the prime of his career in Cincy.

I don’t expect the Bengals to blink here- they’re holding Tee Higgins hostage on the franchise tag, and Chase still has two more years on his rookie deal. To put that another way, the franchise tag means the Bengals have the ability to squeeze three more prime years of service out of Chase at sub-market salaries (including $1.055 million this year). Does anyone really think Mike Brown is going pass that up? Hell, he probably jacks off at night to that shit.

Conversely, Chase has significant incentive to stick to his guns. If he blinks now, his credibility for holding out in the next two years is significantly compromised. Moreover, missing game checks this year ($62k per game) is a lot more palatable than next year ($1.4 million per game).

So look for this to drag out a couple weeks.

-Cam Heyward got paaaid.

Good on the old guy for getting One Last Bag.

-Haason ReddickWatch: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Jets, never change…