Because the current Darkest Timeline isn’t enough for my asshole brain, I am reading Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72 at present. Holy shit, was that drug-addled lunatic ever a unique and insightful author. Highly recommended.
Now, to the games. Hopefully, you remembered to sleep in.
South Cakalaky (+21) at Alabama (Noon, ABC)
Oh man, somebody’s gotta PAY for last week, even if Nick Saban isn’t there to slaughter puppies no MOAR.
Washington (+3) at Iowa (Noon, Fox)
This is…such a shitty window. And the best game has a team playing on a 9a body clock, for an 11a LOCAL kickoff. Fox really sucks in how it time windows its JV coverage.
Texas (-14.5) v. Oklahoma (3:30, ABC)
Red River SHOOTOUT. I would note that BOTH Texas and Oklahoma have (for decades) overwhelmingly, and almost-exclusively GOP governance. So next time your racist uncle tries to bellyache about the Demmycrats hurr durr safe space woke mob.
Paedo State (-4.5) at Southern California (3:30, CBS)
Look, we all know that the Paedos will drop the soap in the showerthe ball at some point. Why not today?
California (+3) at Pitt (3:30, ESPN)
The ACC is such a hot mess that this fixture has become both interesting and potentially relevant. Still mad at the Golden Shower Bears for choking the Miami game away.
Arizona (+4) at Original Recipe Big Love (4:00, Fox)
Oh, this gon’ be LIT. Stormin’ Mormons have the makings of a special season cooking, and the Fightin’ Blax will give that Golden Plate hypothesis a stern test this week. Probably the game of the window, since Steerfuckers North are unlikely to put up much resistence to their Southern steer anusbedellows.
I should add a MIC index and a China index to my retirement account
https://xcancel.com/RnaudBertrand/status/1844930898476793974#m
29 fines! NFL making sure everyone is staying safe. Also, the dude who got tackled was fined. LOL
https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/status/1845193313286033732
I wish this was evidence of the Shield trying to reduce injuries and not just ass-covering.
I’d be so far up the union reps ass if I got that fine.
Someone is going to receive my flood of anger. And you volunteered, Some Dick.
No surprise that Paedos have no familiarity with Trojans.
yeah many of sandusky’s conquests were not of pregnancy age or gender
Thompson had a great article in ESPN magazine right after 9/11 that was dead on balls prescient.
He wrote some great shit on Page 2. That was the best stuff the 4 letter ever did.
Looks like I’m getting the SF proposition political ads on Hulu. Silly politicians advertising outside of the city to people who can’t vote for the stuff they’re promoting!
Undersized White Guys(sorry) Our Precious Army Team beats UAB 44-10.Don’t b all jelly of our BUTCH arned forces smgdh
Just told mom in law we are transitioning as I pour her a rose.
Good luck with your new cooter!
“Do you remember when you said ‘You’re not man enough to be with my daughter? Turns out you’re right as always!”
“You’re giving her a kiss on the rose? Kinky!”
-Seal
Ooh, I have time to play the new Civ monthly challenge today!
Oh boo, the new one isn’t here until the 16th
Folks, I woke up today on a mission.
The other day I noticed something moving on my red pepper flake bottle.
I have pantry moths.
Motherfucker.
I grabbed a trash bag and started throwing shit out.
Then I noticed they got in my semolina flour.
My fresh pasta flour!
Then I put on my war face and called in the air strike.
This aggression will not stand, man!
Burn it all down. Collect insurance. Find a new apartment.
Wait, first step is remove all valuables.
Kill it with fire
Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Airtight containers for flour and sugar and such should go on your xmas list. Those things are great
Completely agree.
I think they hitchhiked in one of my bags of chilies and I have (had) a LOT of chilies.
Moar Oban. Hell MOAR white wine!
Fun fact: I call vodka white wine to seem classy.
Very potatoey?
My tasting notes on Kirkland Vodka are subtle hints of citrus and rose and the texture is silky.
Titos is better, but can’t beat the Costco price.
An excellent value!
IMO Titos is phenomenal
Chopin was always my favorite fancy vodka, but Titos is a solid bar staple
Never heard of that one, or had it. Looks like my local liquor store has it though. Will try!
It’s potato-based while most of the premiums are grain-based. Gives it a light, sweet note in the finish. Super good. Also try and pick up some Zubrowska if you’ve never had it, buffalo grass infused vodka, mixes great with apple juice
*starts vodka list in notes app*
Someone is having a more interesting day than I am so far.
HOWEVER, I just dropped off my family’s completed ballots, which is to say, FUCK YOU MAGA!!!
I tried to drop ours off yesterday. City Hall was closed at 3:45, no sign on the door. Their regular hours weren’t even posted. I think they’re closed on Monday for Indigenous Peoples Day, so I will turn them in Tuesday.
We’re lucky to have a drop box nearby, which helps my “avoid people always” strategy.
The drop box is inside City Hall. Not convenient!
I handed mine directly to my mail team with explicit orders to deliver it directly.
They’re a good crew.
Solid baseball game.
Tigers punched way above their weight this year.
And, like the Commanders, the Guardians found success when they got less racist.
THERE’S A LESSON HERE.
So I’m in a bar enjoying a mid day meal, been watching the baseball game on mute for like 30
And I’ve just realized it’s the Spanish broadcast…
Do with this information what you wish
Also the game was on delay
In hell? The Steerfuckers (North y South) pep bands, on infinite repeat
Love my inlaws. As they shoot Akavit, I get this.
Beauty!
Inject that Bees/Holes ending straight into HippoVEINS
Holy shit, that was smart af (realizing the outside chance he could get dinged for a safety if he knelt)
ONSIDE PUNT!!!!!
That’s a catch
-my future wife, rolling her eyes looking over the dregs of the offerings at HusbandCon in Sudbury, circa 2000
Possible Deep South Bananacakes??
Wouldn’t be the first Cock that started hard but quickly ended up going soft.
Am I the only one watching hot Holy Cross on Fordham action?
/love the local default channels
In the clubhouse or the ocuntry?
Yes?
methinks Bama is planning to punt, not try a FG
Cocks having trouble keeping inside the uptights.
Cocky comes up short. Also somehow WAAAYYYYY wide
Just a little case of Peyronie’s
Curse you, The Script!
Based ball may get weird.
Come on Cocks! Perk up here!
You’re saying these Cocks need to stiffen and stand tall then they can start pounding away?
Oh, they also need better penetration.
Need to pull out of a blitz at the right time too.
I sent the kid and wife off at the airport this am. Hit the gym and got home to turn on some Georgia Tech v UNC rando action.
Got a punt return td out of it. So this time alone is looking good.
Also, how does UNC have 4 noncon games already?
Here’s my problem with ‘tough old white guy LIKE YOU says vote Kamala’ commercials.
Every single dude who looks like them I’ve ever met is 100% voting Trump and possibly hanging out armed at ballot boxes over the coming weeks.
I want Rihanna, Colin Kaperknic, and Tupac’s hologram in a commercial like, “Vote Kamala and you can say it.”
I know Coach DeBoer must be feeling glum, but buck up little trooper. Be grateful you are at least white, and thus will make it to your car alive.
COCKS!
Lol Bama
a full window of games THIS WRETCHED, in the 2nd week of October? FOAR shame.
Through text messages, I’m bullying my younger skull fracture kid to jump in the lake with me.
Cocks. Game.
Unique pick up line there
Jedi mind tricking them to ask me to open a white. I think MIL is on board at noon. That is too damn far away.
A white drink you say?
Jeebus, why not just drink antifreeze. And/or lighter fluid.
Say a prayer for my MIL-she wanted to host a Thanksgiving dinner on Monday but everyone chose something else to do, so now she’s switched it to Sunday and calling all her nieces and nephews to guilt their parents into showing up. This is what trying to grift and steal money from your kids for over 50 years gets you.
It truly is a time of Fuck Your Feelings.
I would wager if you took her on a weekend “hunt” of yours, you and your wife wouldn’t hear from her very much again.
Just as an addendum-I’d like to remind you that my SIL has “hard water” at her place so they wash their clothes at MIL’s place (10 minutes away) for which MIL charges a monthly fee. I’d also like to point out that BIL is a forgetful guy and sometimes leaves money in the pockets of his pants. MIL keeps everything she finds because of course she does.
Why have enemies when you can have family.
— Q.A. ron
Dear family: I hate the “in law” formality. My love and devotion for you is overwhelming. That is beyond question.
Still, there’s mandatory tomorrow and I finally got my ass in shape to be in the couch all day, without shifting.
Happy Thanksgiving, save me the giblets.
Clemson-Wake Forest is the JV equivalent of finding an old, unnoticed brown stain in your sheets.
/one thing about having young ‘uns that have girlfriends
Me: “Hey, what are you up to tomorrow?”
Kid: “Oh we’re doing [lays out itinerary]”
/girlfriend comes over and what you think might happen, happens
Itinerary: “What the fuck?!”
Show us your acting chops, Dee.
Bro in law is up, now just waiting for him to crack his first beer so I don’t appear like the alcoholic. I am a binge drinker dammit!
I’m already drinking vodka, so you’re in the clear!
ah mean, this checks out. I am only one pill in, apologies for the slow start
I have edibles with me to take the edge off in the morning. Watching Scotland play with UW Iowa in the background.
BOW DOWN!
I am starting to doubt the validity/wisdom of this instruction.
Wait, ROLL TIDE!
TIDE CREAKS ALONG WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY AND SLURRING OF WORDS
Wifey is doing a bicycle tour on Mackinac Island so I did some work for a few hours and alcohol was consumed by 11:01 EST.
Figures a bird is picking for Ducks.
her first sentence best be what up, boners
That is so incorrect, I’m tempted to downvote it.
THIS is the proper answer.
I reckoned ESPN wouldn’t allow that. But she deffo added “assdicks” to my lexicon.
She would not be allowed on Italian sports TV dressed like that. Ladies do not wear sweatshirts here. They show cleavage.
AS GOD INTENDED!!
She got the Bird sign! lol
put McAfee and Deion in a steel cage, shoot them full of PCP, let ’em fight to the death
And then shoot the winner. Then the loser, just to be sure.
The winner gets 24 hours to eat and/or rape the opponent’s corpse first, but yeah.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL SWEET DEE IS GOING TO PICK JV NFL GAMES, I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOME REASON I PUT THE TEEVEE ON BEFORE KICKOFF.
a very beautiful lady, and like Josh Groban say NOT AT ALL LIEK A BIRD
I can think of few fates MOAR terrifying than accidentally kicking NICK SABAN’s finger on a placement kick attempt.
TRUE HIPPO STORY – I broke my right index finger holding for a nerf placement, the summer after kindergarten. Said finger is still visibly askew.
Hello Hippo. Monica says ciao.
Ciao indeed!
Kind enough to show Hippo a little shoulder goodness, even. What a classy
broadlady.Sum quality shoulder there Buddy.
Time zones continually mess with my brain. 630 am tomorrow for the mandatory viewing? Doesn’t time zone lord know I plan to drink all day and watch sports with my brother in law???
View it as a challenge instead of a hindrance.
NO. Mandatory means MANDATORY. You can nap today.
(also, is mandatory FOAR Dick, too – tell him not to MAKE ME come out thar and kick his ass)
Welcome to the PDT
If I made it with You, Zymm in Vegas, I can make it here.
I got no sleep last night. Zero. I have trouble sleeping during the day. Gumby has had a whole string of bad nights, so I don’t really expect tonight to be much better. By the London gamr tomorrow morning, I will look like this guy
Fuuuuuuuuuck. Click on him, he’s supposed to be giffing.
He does gif.
REMEMBER! If the teevee is on, and you don’t INTEND to fall asleep, but nod off anyway? That is acceptable/legal.
Was not expecting to see Tony Dungy today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Amw3bBIYf54
Working on 16 here and starting to get a little silly.
Also, Mizzou is hosting UMass this week? That’s a way to prove the doubters wrong, guys.
ASU beat Utah at home last night. Big deal for ASU.
I love it. Utah is clearly way overrated (UA beat them too; OK St nearly beat them) — which has been coming since the offseason — and now ASU is started to have hope. And what’s that thing RockingDog says about hope?
Most importantly, this guy’s comment is awesome. Dillingham will be out of ASU faster than you can say, “110 degrees in October!”
WVU beat the liver bile out of Okie State last week, in Stillwater. Cowpokes are 0-3 in Big 12 (16) play.
I love to say hope/wish in one hand, shit in the other – see which gets full first.
Woke up to a message from the school Friday around 5:00 in the morning that due to an armed and dangerous fugitive being pursued through the town by police, school would be cancelled for the day. A couple of hours later we get a follow up message saying the suspect was in custody and after-school events (the football game) could proceed as normal. An hour or so after THAT comes the update to the update saying due to “the effect of the tragedy on the school community” the game would be postponed. Through the grapevine of this extremely small town, I’m hearing a 17 year old kid attacked the parents of his ex-girlfriend. Stabbed the mother to death and stabbed and shot the father. Monday is a holiday, thank god. Then on Tuesday I’ll introduce the kids to “Dark Side Of The Moon” or some fucking thing. Anything to give them advice and a perspective on life that is universal, curious, and broad. Because NOTHING happening in this place is worth ending your life over.
Deny the family ever existed.
There has been a few of those here lately. Teenagers killing girlfriends and in some cases families. Not sure how much violence in the media has to do with it, but I suspect that, and inattentive family situations are contributing. I just don’t recall this many happening in years past.
Gets directed inward sometimes too. This happened at a high school back home that was situated right next to the interstate. Kid went to school, made a big scene, then a few minutes later stepped out of the trees right in front of a semi.
Social media doesn’t help. Personal experience with my daughter, even the ones that have a lick of sense get caught up in it, and what the rest of the school will think. Which was a thing back in the stone age, but social media causes a positive feedback.
Yeah our peer pressure was word of mouth. Today it’s amplified with social media.
I don’t understand this sort of behavior at all, mostly because my ex-girlfriends’ parents liked me more than the ex-girlfriend did.
Also I will bet $100,000 that the kid in this situation is white, because he is ‘in custody’ and not ‘shot to death while resisting arrest,’ which is a real missed opportunity by the cops, because there is no chance anyone would complain about it given the circumstances.
If he were black, it wouldn’t have been labeled a tragedy. It would be proof that The Threat is at Our Door.
You mean transgender illegal immigrants.
Not sure who he is because he’s a minor and the news won’t reveal the name. But I know he was found one county over by a search helicopter responding to a vehicle fire. He burned himself up somehow, was apprehended, and was airlifted to a D.C. hospital. Lot of blanks still to be filled in. The ones filled in already sure stink, though.
Cut they smell of charred flesh.
Put in a 6-team parlay at 12:00
WAKE FOREST +20.5 vs Clemson
Missouri -27.5 @ UMASS
Wisconsin (ML) @ RUTGERS
ALABAMA -21.5 vs S. Carolina
ARMY -27.5 vs UAB
Washington @ Iowa UNDER 41.5
This was the result of approximately eleven minutes research and I’ve barely watched a minute of college ball this season. Any parts of this look doomed to explode on take-off to you sharps in the clubhouse?
I mean, the methodology alone was enough to make me start researching How To Open A Sportbook.
Tough, but fair.
Also, these CFB spreads are insane. And I can see Missouri up 26 in the 4th and the conference chair calls in, “run it up. We’re going to document how bad everyone does ATS as the next filter decide who stays and who goes.”
I can’t imagine my day being ruined by Rutgers, but here you are.
Good luck and god bless.
I don’t like to bet large favourites but you do you.
Only large asses for Balls.
Hunter Thompson’s description on Edmund Muskie is absolutely amazing.
Is that the one that goes something like, “Locked in a rolling boxcar with a crazed water rat.”