Sexy Friday – 20240913

TGIF! Try not to eat any pets no matter where you are. Also, welcome back footy! Set those alarms and get your Peacock credentials ready.

Survival – Personal Edition

In today’s edition, you’ve made some terrible life choices and are now near two cats. Not only that, but these two cats are fighting. Here’s how to break up that little spat so you can hear your TV again.

• Make sure they’re aren’t play fighting. If they’re not hissing and baring their teeth, it’s just play fighting and there’s no reason to get involved. Let them have their fun.
• Start by identifying the aggressor. This should be easy as they’re the one that’s on top in the fight.
• Assuming you know the aggressor’s name, yell in a loud voice their name with commands like stop, or no, or dirt nap time.
• Also make loud noises with your hands, feet, or other objects banging together.
• Try to separate the cats. No, not with your hands. Get something like a mop or broom or other long item, and stick that in between them and nudge them apart. If you’re outside, use water from a bucket or a hose and soak them.
• If you have a sturdy pair of long gloves, you can subdue the aggressor by grabbing them on the back on their neck. Then pull them away from the other cat and press them firmly to the ground. Hold them there until the other cat gets away before releasing.
• If this is an house situation, separate the cats for at least an hour. If they still want to fight, confine the aggressor to a safe room for a week. Then try slowly reintroducing them to each other.

That should do it. Hopefully neither needs to be euthanized, but sometimes they can be real dicks, in which case pick your favoUrite and say goodbye to the other one.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!