I mean, don’t get me wrong: I am a great believer in the power of Nothing Left To Lose. I get all the shivers when I watch this scene, and sure- you kind of need to abandon any hope of surviving in order to think charging howevermany thousand orcs with pikes.

But

I’m not sure that a big speech about how shitty things are about to get is the most motivational thing you can say there. And while it sounds badass, yelling “Death!” as a battlecry seems a little weird when you think about it.

Sidenote: I am always impressed when I think about Very Serious Actors (especially Very Serious British Actors) just absolutely nailing patently silly lines in sci-fi or fantasy movies. Bernard Hill, nearing age 60, is dressed up in silly armor on a horse in the middle of a field, surrounded by a giant film crew and 200 other actors. Goofy-looking fucker Peter Jackson yells “action!” and he just fucking SELLS it.

No stirring music, no camera tricks. Just absolute professionalism. I’d hire him as a head coach, if he weren’t dead. Probably end up with a long injured list though.

-Speaking of charismatic leaders who lead their charges into a fucking meatgrinder, Dan Campbell either needs to work on his imagery or get help for an eating disorder. Campbell, who famously talked about his team biting kneecaps in his introductory press conference, had this to say about his team’s crushing loss to the Most Glorious Football Bills:

What happens is, you get used to eating filet. And I’m talking all of us. And everything’s good. Life’s good, you know? But you forgot what it was like when you had nothing and you ate your f—ing molded bread. And it was just fine. And it gave you everything you needed. And sometimes you gotta get punched in the mouth and remember what it used to be like to really appreciate where you are.

Dan, I recognize that this may be my privilege talking but: eating moulded bread is not “just fine.” It doesn’t give you everything you need, unless you need mycotoxins and (if it’s rye) ergotism.

Then again, since symptoms of convulsive ergotism include mania, psychosis and spasm, maybe we’re too late to save Dan Campbell.

-Speaking of too late to save, two more quarterbacks appear to have settled their tabs at the Last Chance Saloon. Tennessee’s Will Levis was benched after his fourth turnover against the Bengals, and it looks like Mason Dixon Rudolph will get the starts going forward.

Meanwhile, Jameis Winston will ride the pine behind preseason hero Dorian Thompson-Robinson after yet another three interception game. I really am puzzled by what Cleveland thought they were going to get out of Winston- he threw 13 touchdowns to 12 interceptions, which is one more touchdown than history suggested he would get. It’s like getting a dog and being disappointed when he wags his tail.

-I strongly urge the New York Jets to draft Deion Sanders and his son. It’s gonna make the Lavar Ball shit look positively benign.