![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy [in bed].
Vaclav Havel
This is a very technical way of saying that you want to stay under the covers.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
So, are we an Empire now, or still just a Republic?
LemonJello
A circus.
Brick Meathook
Oligarchic Kakistocracy.
Redshirt
I think I saw them open for Night Ranger at the Illinois State Fair.
LemonJello
Well, nothing else is going on today, so time to turn on the Xbox and level up 37 times in Fortnite.
Horatio Cornblower
Are you the Cardinals QB?
Jimbo
It’s usually exciting when Bears get a new Johnson, so let’s see how it plays out.
SonOfSpam
They’ve interviewed 17 people and counting. I think they just like interviewing people.
Doktor Zymm
“I am here for my interview”
SonOfSpam
I took a nap. Did Trump introduce the Hyenas to Pride Rock yet?
Redshirt
Fuck.
Gumbygirl
“Okay”
-Litre, grabbing a nearby sheep
(may still be salty about yesterday)
SonOfSpam
litre_cola
Redshirt
Handy guide
Don T
Musk responds after backlash over gesture at Trump rally
While there is some truth to Autistic/Aspergers making weird spontaneous movements as a way to express emotion that they cannot fully express normally, Elon’s actions and the location looking like a goddamn Nazi Germany rally does support the “Seig Heil” argument.
Redshirt
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably wants to annex the Sudetenland is a duck
Sharkbait
TSN’s national hockey drivetime podcast-y hockey thingy spent 15 minutes discussing whether Auston Matthews would catch Leon Draitsel in goals. There was a brief break regarding, I don’t know, something. And now there’s talk of what center should be traded to the Leafs to shore up their depth.
/and you Americans complain about wall-to-wall Trump coverage
scotchnaut
It’s 12:26AM January 23 so it’s BRICK’S BIRTHDAY.
Thank you.
Brick Meathook
https://volcano.si.edu/volcano.cfm?vn=257100
I was doing some light reading about volcanoes today. Check out Yasur in Vanuatu, which has been erupting for over 200 years and quite possibly much longer!
Isn’t it a beauty?
Doktor Zymm
Someone’s bored with their current lair.
Mr. Ayo
Saw this and obviously thought of ArmedandHammered
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Welp, Burrow’s unofficially on borrowed time.
Redshirt
We used one of my putts all i contributed to the foursome today. Our team got second, which seemed pretty good considering the first place team was clearly like all into the fundraising event and I just pulled out my brother and his pal to carry us.
My brother won the longest drive so that was cool too.
I suck at golf and don’t think I’ll ever find the time to enjoy it. But as far as social events go, sticking to my own group for five hours and open bar plus food and the goodie bag has some school-branded gear and a can coozie for me. So this may be my annual school social event.
There was a hole in one contest for free tuition for a year. I actually pulled up and put that shot square on the green. It’s important to know your motivations i guess because most everything else was a disaster.
But it was cold and I really hate that shit. I’ve got the boy chopping (hammer in splittering?) firewood for me right now. I’m gonna get crispy sitting by the fire tonight.
Also –Trent Baalke what a shitty fucking way to go out. I mean, you’ve obviously failed if you’re being canned. But, regardless of your shortcomings as a professional, you can’t help but know you are Wrong when the organization cannot bring in good help because of you. That’s a marketplace rejection. Brutally honest. But also Trent knew the Jags would fuck this up because they fuck up everything and now they’re worse off than if the Jags had just balled up and called in him on Black Monday.
I think the Jaguars will win a SB before the Qards.
blaxabbath
Got a warm up stick tonight.
RELEASE THE KAKKO!!!!
Mr. Ayo
HI I’M MARK DAVIS
I JUST HIRED THE ONLY GUY CRAZIER THAN ME TO COACH MY FOOTBALL TEAM
I LIKE HAVING FUN AND JUST AIMLESSLY MILLING ABOUT
The Maestro
MY TODAY GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME TO HIRE HIM!!
I LIKE MY TODAY GIRLFRIEND SO MUCH, SHE MIGHT BE MY TOMORROW GIRLFRIEND TOMORROW, BUT PROBABLY NOT MY SUNDAY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I DON’T THINK SHE GOES TO CHURCH!!
I LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH, BECAUSE AT THE END I GET TO SHAKE HANDS WITH THE GUY WITH THE COLLAR WHO TALKS A LOT AND SAY ‘HI I’M MARK DAVIS’ AND I REALLY LIKE DOING THAT!!
Horatio Cornblower
“Still not making a promised painkiller”
BeefReeferLives
Dear JD Vance,
I am cooking dinner and my wife is fixing the toilet. Are we doing gender roles right?
litre_cola
WOOOO I HIRED SCHOTTENHEIMER SO I CAN CALL HIM SHITTENHEIMER WHICH CRACKS ME THE FUCK UP WOOOO YEE-HAW
Disappointed it ain’t Deion, but happy it’s stupid.
SonOfSpam
Wait, what?
/checks internet
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS CHRIST!!!!!
Horatio Cornblower
lol sorry to be the one to break the news also lol and lol
SonOfSpam
Self portrait:
Brick Meathook
Family Portrait:
Redshirt
I have been laughing randomly ever since I heard who JJ hired to coach his stars.
ArmedandHammered
WCS
Straight into the community’s veins:
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/43538463/snyder-hates-commanders-success
SonOfSpam
Was watching Return of the Jedi when Luke is totally taken off guard when Palp starts blasting him with lightning & thought:
“Ya know, Yoda should have probably mentioned that during his training. Bit of an oversight, that…”
BeefReeferLives
I think the only consistent thing throughout Star Wars is: the Jedi are really fucking dumb.
“Force abilities run in the family. Let’s strongly discourage our members from forming attachments and having children.”
“We’re a little worried about this angsty powerful teenager with anger issues. Let’s forbid him from having a girlfriend.”
“Starting to think that maybe there’s a Sith around the government somewhere, but who could possibly figure that out?”
“Ok, things are pretty badly fucked. We need to protect these infant twins, who may become the last hope of the Jedi, from Anakin Skywalker. I’ll take Luke to his home planet, call him Luke Skywalker, and put him with his aunt and uncle. Nobody will ever suspect anything.”
“Let’s not give Luke or Leia any Jedi training until they’re well into their teens. . . . Ok, look, I can’t train him now, he’s too old.”
“Fine, I’ve started training him, but he’s not ready to face Vader yet. He’ll lose and probably get turned to the dark side. If Vader kills Leia, well, no big whoop.”
“Shit, he’s determined to leave and face Vader. Let’s not tell him that Vader is his father, I’m sure Vader will be chill and not mention it to try to turn him or anything.”
“Well, damn, he left and is going to get himself turned. It’s ok, there is another. I mean, she’s being held captive by Vader, who will probably kill her now that she’s served her purpose as bait. And she’s the same age as Luke but doesn’t even have the beginnings of training, but I’m hopeful.”
“Oh, you’re back from facing Vader, which I said you weren’t ready for and I was right! Huh, he told you about the father thing, who could have known? Well, you’re a Jedi now, except for one thing — you have to face Vader! Yes, I know I just told you that you weren’t ready, but now you totally are.”
“Yeah, you’ve got to kill your dad. Sorry, but once you start down the dark side, there’s no coming back. It’s simply impossible.”
And remember that a lot of this is coming from the guy who is supposedly the wisest of Jedi. Shit.
The one thing the Jedi have going for them is that their enemies are even dumber. “Our philosophy is so fucked up that we’re incapable of working together to defeat the Jedi without backstabbing each other. So we will voluntarily limit our numbers to two, which is great odds against many many Jedi. Oh, and those two will be constantly scheming to kill and replace each other.”
Dunstan
THIS REFEREE I CALL HIM MERRICK GARLAND BECAUSE DESPITE HIS STERN WARNINGS NONE OF THE WASHINGTON PLAYERS ARE THE SLIGHTEST BIT CONCERNED THAT THEY’LL FACE ANY KIND OF REPERCUSSIONS FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The only thing worse than Superb Owl ads?
Trailer ads for Superb Owl ads. Get this shit off my TV.
Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower
BeefReeferLives
Don T
It is my birthday. So I get to go to the coffee shop for an hour or so after the gym to work.
blaxabbath
the Lasik site is on fire.
Beerguyrob
Redshirt
January 26, 2025 7:40 pm
fleshwound_NPG
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.