God, what a night that was! I’m still picking Tonight Girlfriends’ underthings (those that bothered to wear underthings) out of the branches of trees in the Clubhouse yard! Don T is still asleep in a lawn chair with a bottle of Patron in his hand. Hippo is in the corner trying to make friends with a “Eww, dog” as he put it. Gumbygirl and Dok are whispering back and forth and looking at the rest of us. That cannot be good. Ayo is rifling through all the stuff in the freezer and yelling for “Stoli. Sweet, sweet Stoli”. RTD came up to me and said, “Did you hear that?” I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s the sound of a vacuum not running.” Horatio is re-enacting Kemba Walker’s run through the Big East Tournament to no one in particular. It’s damn chaos is what it is.

Otherwise, there’s not much going on but I did see a few items-

Turns out that the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are eating Payday! bars this year as their salaries increase a fair bit. As late as 2019 they were getting a whopping $200 per game but then after a lawsuit was settled it increased by double. Apparently now it’s been upped to $1600 in what a reality-deprived shaker of pompoms described as “life-changing” money. Ok, everyone is in a different financial situation but I stuck my nose in the air as I typed that. Another cheerleader added, “Now I don’t have to wash my panties in the sink of Stephen Jones’ private bathroom as he films me anymore!” It’s the little victories that make all the difference.

There’s been much consternation that J.J McCarthy’s appendage has atrophied to pasta dimensions because he, a) missed a year, and b) played in a Harbaugh offense when he was at Michigan. Fear not, Justin Jefferson assures the media that McCarthy, “definitely has an arm”. “Damned with faint praise” is running through my noggin currently.

Tonight Sports:

Toronto-born Shea Gilgamesh-Alexander will attempt to hand the Thunder its first champeenship.

Here’s something that the kids are listening to. Well, one kid. Ok, my oldest Skull Fracture Boy. Enjoy.