Guten Tag Drones.
I barely remembered the draft this weekend, but here we are at 11:05 pm Sunday night throwing words on a computer to avoid doing any work on Monday. Gotta love this timeline.
I’ve been noticing a lot of folk around here starting to get pretty excited about the return of football, even if it’s preseason, to which I say
Preseason football is worse than methadone.
I, uh, assume.
Bunch of no names you’ll never see outside of Canada, the XFL, or an arena within four weeks, interrupted by 4-5 play appearances by players you do recognize. All while it’s sunny and warm out and you should be outside. Or at least inside, watching baseball, as God intended!
OK, OK, look, I can pander withe the best of them. If it’s football you want, football you shall have.
Last off-season we did a few drafts taking offensive players, but I don’t think we ever did the defensive side. Could I easily check and find out if this is the case? Yes. Will I? No. Why? Because it’s 11:13 pm and I’m not getting paid for this.
This week we take NFL linebackers. 3-4, 4-3, inside, outside, middle, doesn’t matter. If they played linebacker in the NFL they are eligible.
As always when drafting professional football players, (and comedians), it’s what they do professionally that matters. What they did, allegedly or otherwise, off the field has no bearing on their value here, nor does it reflect on your complete lack of morals drafting them.
Although it should.
I’m giving the first pick to Scotchnaut, because he gives me a lot of suggestions, because as, (I think) the only and certainly long-suffering New York Football Giants fan in the clubhouse he should be making this pick, and because, much like Highlander, in this draft there can be only one for the first pick, I’m just going to assign him Lawrence Taylor.
Objections can be made in the back room, which I won’t read because I can’t get in there.
With the second pick I’m going to take Randy White, a holy terror for the Cowboys defense back when I started watching football.
Here’s Randy about to make Jim Zorn question every life decision he made to get him to that point.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Are we doing the secondary next week so I can draft Sean Taylor?
Does anyone else have the Gif Brewery application for Mac? I got a new one and this was a clean slate but I forgot Gfycat went the way of the Titanic and took that great application with them.
Re-sharing because I doubt many saw it last night
https://twitter.com/the_wordwalker/status/1930467822087397844#m
Andre Tippett back when the Greatriots were fun.
If I recall, he took martial arts lessons in hand-fighting to improve his techniques in getting past o-linemen and it was regarded as ‘weird’.
Whereas these days “weird” is used to describe guys who lost their virginity to couches and other guys who traveled to private islands to have sex with children.
that’s just what ALPHA MANLY MEN and Presidents do, not us plebs
Sigh… I yearn for the days that the statement “I think that raping kids is wrong & should be punished” was not seen as ‘virtue signalling’ or ‘political’
smh libtard
yup. Just an anachronistic bleeding heart, I am…
Tippett is a pretty solid example of nominative determinism, assuming he broke up more than a few pass plays during his career.
Ok, let’s piss off someone and take Nick Buonoconti
https://youtu.be/MoFbhL1cKq4?si=IYvClpmwpbLLJrb3
As mentioned before the Giants used to be swimming in talent at the lb spot so that really good players like Pepper Johnson, Andy Headen and Byron Hunt had to wait around to get a starting job. The best of them was Gary Reasons (he had to wait until his age 29 season to start!) and he found other ways to contribute. Back when I lived and died with the team this fake punt was absolutely crucial to the Giants massive upset of the Niners when they were going for the Threepeat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et8uKNp7Aeo
And then because I missed the morning I’m invoking my pedantic prerogative* to take another pick to shame you all for leaving Derrick Thomas on the board this long. So I’m taking him.
*Don’t let Horatio tell you that’s not a thing, and generally don’t listen to him.
https://youtu.be/6ZNr8xYC-Z8?si=7dg_63kEjK4RjbCB
I see Brocky has a stack of Bears media guides to take all the LBs our team ever had. So we’ll stretch value and cockblock him by taking Otis Wilson next
If Hunter Hillenmeyer is his next pick, though, we have to kick him out of the clubhouse
Wilbur Marshall
Monster of the midway, disruptor of offenses, and the last thing joe Ferguson sees before he drifts off to sleep
https://youtu.be/wj28tuacg3w?si=uY93670woxFImFPQ
That’s a beautiful fucking hit that would probably get flagged today. SMH
Probably get away with it on Cam Newton, but do that to Mahomes you’d be looking at a fine and suspension.
The Bumblebees are back. 🐝
Ugh. (Insert MY EYES, THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! gif here)
Also, who the hell is “Reirmut”? I don’t recall him being on the roster…
Probably one of the SS adjuncts assigned to each team by Homeland Security.
https://www.steelers.com/news/steelers-unveil-1933-throwback-uniforms
https://www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/news/pittsburgh-steelers-throwback-uniforms-city-crest-2025-26-season/
That’s Fort Pitt on the crest, if you were wondering. Jeff Goldblum is a yinzer, he’s from the same nabe ( West Homestead) as I was born in.
Michael Keaton (aka Michael Douglass) grew up literally four blocks from where I did.
Don’t blame this on science, this is far more likely to be the work of Yog-Sothoth.
I know they SAY it’s parasites, but maybe all the bees are dying of shame from being associated with these unis
I saw that earlier today. Just been shaking my head all morning…
I don’t hate the jerseys, but those pants are dreadful.
Most are, hence why we hate them on this site
Jordan Cameron, who was called a “Jack linebacker” ( see the year 2015) by Sean Payton.
Folks, I don’t mean to threadjack (but I may, anyway), but I again wanted to thank yinz.
I’ve been feeling quite lonely this month. Because of life circumstances, I haven’t seen princess or any of my kids since 4th of July. Princess and her mom have been at war with each other for almost two weeks now. She and Duke WCS live with her parents (Duke’s grandparents); it’s complicated (a lot of old school Catholicism and unaddressed obsessive compulsive disorder). Lil’ and Lil’er WCS are out of school, and their mom and they have been traveling often.
Anyway, I haven’t seen my favorite people in a while, and the loneliness is starting to get to me. You guys rock, and so thanks again.
Larry Foote was the bass player of the Dick Lebeau defenses: almost never the flashiest or dynamic, but essential. Like bass guitar, something’s just not right when he wasn’t on the field. Foote was an overlooked force that blended in exceptionally well among the James Harrisons and Troy Polamalus of the NFL to create a top-five defense for 15 seasons.
tl;dr you guys help me when I’m feeling down and Larry Foote was a great LB. The two aren’t mutually exclusive
we’re here for you, whenever needed.
Larry Foote was awesome. Your description is spot on.
& sorry to hear about the family issues. Sounds like you’re trying your best to not get caught in the middle of the dispute, which can be very difficult. You’re in my thoughts, WCS. Hope the fussin & a-feudin’ stops & you are re-united with them soon.
I was going to pick him next but stupid work got in the way.
Truly, the curse of the drinking class…
You hang in there, my darling dear! I know what you mean, I shudder to think what my life would be like without all of you chucklefucks!
I’m about to be home alone myself for about ten days. The first 48 hours or so are always glorious, and then I start missing the Dr. Mrs.
That vacuum ain’t gonna sweep itself…
I go thru the same thing-I feel like a yoke has been taken off my back and then a few days later its, “Hey, where’s my yoke?”
Zach Thomas who thanks to the genius of Dave Wannstedt and Nick Saban ways to squander a rosters with him Junior Seau and Jason Taylor and others. Just one of many defenses around league guilty of not finding way to end Bradys career. Still 6th in league in tackles history.
Larry “Law Dog” Timmons.
Wasn’t flashy, but solid, dependible, & hit HARD.
London Fletcher
Dude has the record for most consecutive starts as a linebacker at 215, and he played in over 250 consecutive games.