Buenas noches, damas y gérmenes. I’m subbing today for Rev because he had to attend a private zoning matter about a developing sinkhole near where he lives, which he asked to be kept private. Oh yeah, absolutely.

So anyway, what happened was: there was a HOA meeting earlier today and someone who introduced himself as a “soil engineer” mispronounced “chasm”. Well, a snort was heard near where Rev was sitting. Which is totally out of character for him, but the guy does love when other people are wrong.

Anyway, as a fan of TEN, a shitty AND irrelevant* team that was seen as a seller, I have some taeks about the fire sales that went down.

* Unlike CIN, JEST etc. cte. etc.

Teams doing well this year want to add The Missing Piece for a deep playoff run. Bad teams admit that this season is a wash and demand draft picks for their good players. I would expect the GMs on good teams, looking for players, have owner backing to give out draft picks like ICE hands out payroll forms. BUT: what if the trade doesn’t work out this season?

That’s where I see the Clots right now.

Indy traded their first round pick for 2026 and for 2027, in exchange for NYJ CB Sauce Gardner. Which is strange for any NFL fan waiting for the Daniel Jones other shoe to drop, which happened this last week (50-31-1-3-3 fumbles). Clots are showing mad confidence in Indianapolis Jones, and I guess the thinking goes that seven wins condemns you to a high 1st for 2026, which is beyond a top-prospect college QB. Still, first rounders in two drafts is the capital that can gets you moved up. Now it’s gone, for a shutdown CB.

This means IND is stuck with the current QB room until 2028—unless a splashy free agent QB is signed or Kirk Cousins undergoes something like Him training. Predicción: GM Chris Ballard is gone in 2026, new owner wants to hire her own GM if Indy has to hang a “2025 Divisional Playoff Participant” banner.

As to the Jets, I gotta add a prologue to the Sauce trade. Back in late September, TEN traded CB Jarvis Brownlee to the Jets for a 7th to 6th round swap. This I remember vividly, because it’s all I read while at the mechanic’s that time. Tl dr, I got boned at the mechanic and the Titans got something for a talented player they were about to cut for blatant PIs and giving lip to the coaches. Really hope Brownleee excels in heh, I mean 🤭  with the New York J

You guys cursed.

That may change. No matter where you live, candles and chicken blood are readily available. Furthermore, the Jets also traded DT Quinnen Williams to the Cowboys for a 2026 second rounder and a 2027 1st. This, by my count, makes it two first round picks in three successive drafts for the New Jetsy Jets. This includes well earned, homegrown tanking, which gets you a 1-3 pick, where the wildest and therefore sweetest delusions are cooked. Just think: a Fernando or Manning at QB in 2026—hell, even I know of them, and I avoid JV fitbaw like Venezuela invade-baiters.

Other notable moves, graded by the awesome Judy Battista, here.

You:

Yes I wanted to date her when I was at university and she appeared on The Sports Reporters. There. Too full disclosure. I believe what she writes, for her work ¿okei? Ok.

SPROTS TO MITE

No times. I’m still adjusting to YOUR weird clock back thingy that now forces me to stay awake past 9 PM here for a gad damned KICKOFF instead of napping through sometime during the third QRT of a prime time game before a workday.

Pretext, covered.

NHL

Mammmoth [sic] @ Sabres

Flyera @ Canadiens

Bruins @ Islanders

[INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK] @ Rangers

Eulers @ Stars

Predators @ Wild

Predicción: this will be a civilized game. For hockey, I mean.

Later

Lightning @ Avalanche

Red Wings @ Golden Knights

Panthers @ Decks

Jets @ Kings

U.S. CIVIL WAR

“Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest attacked a Union supply base at Johnsonville, Tennessee.” In 1864. There, I give no hours. But for you, Dear Reader, I give the year.  Never say I don’t love value cherish consider respect acknowledge undermine detest avoid ghost you.

IRRELEVANT ROUNDBALL

Milwaukee @ Tirana

Orlando @ Hotlanna

Philly @ Chic*g*

Charlotte @ Na’wlins

Later

Phoenix @ Golden State

FINALLY,

“Chasm”, of course, is pronounced like it’s written. Exactly like “charade” and “character”. Pft, what a dumbass. Anyway, we might need to raise bail for Rev later tonight, because this week I dared him to call someone a welebicho.

Banner via here, gifs from giphy.com.