Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

Welcome to the world, kiddo. You made it! At last!

The last time I was writing about life advice for you – and for myself – I was cautious and perhaps a little bit scared of what was to come. As it turns out, I was wrong! In all the best ways possible!

As it turns out, the best time in your very young life to be alive is right at this exact second. It’s true. Pretty much nothing will beat December 2025 as the ideal time in your life. Your mom’s doting on your every need, your dad got some time off work to try and do likewise, you’ve got friends and family visiting all three of us, and you don’t have to lift a finger for any of it! Not that I think you can control them that well at this point, anyways. Not only that, but Christmas is coming, there’s cool lights and fun sounds everywhere, the house smells great from yummy food (though I guess you’ll have to wait a little while longer on enjoying all that), and I’m certain that there’s a mountain of presents coming from somewhere. Everyone’s feeling really, really good as we head into the holiday season.

All that worry I had back in the summer about your life has so far been unfounded. Sure, it’s only been about two weeks since you’ve been born, but I see no way this could possibly turn around and regress. Infants never cause anybody stress… right?

Best of all, it’s safe to be a Patriots fan once again – just like your dad!

Yes, looks like after three years AN ETERNITY in purgatory, the Pats are back, and are poised for a deep playoff run once again. Since you have no prior experience with being absolutely downright miserable due to circumstances entirely out of your control, nor with any of the Brady-Belichick-Kraft baggage of decades past, I must tell you that you’re joining the fandom at the perfect time. It’s also very fortunate that you have a humble football genius for a father. Yes, I have receipts to prove it.

Let the record show that I said Drake Maye would absolutely be a stud QB at this time last year. And not just that, but he’s now a favorite to win MVP alongside Jonathan Taylor. I think the only surprising part of his ascent was just how fast it happened. His game is no fluke this year; he not only sees the field well, but he’s also finally getting the help that he needed in order to have more time and flexibility. The New England O-line, which was panned at the start of the year even with big additions in Will Campbell and Garrett Bradbury, has gelled into a top-10 unit in the league according to PFF. He also has shown fantastic chemistry with Stefon Diggs, who I said needed to be a true #1 receiver in order for the Pats to make headway. Diggs’ presence on the field and drawing additional attention from the secondary has allowed a number of other receivers to have some breakout years, including Kayshon Boutte, who’s become a go-to field stretcher with some notable deep ball proficiency.

I must also go on record and say that prior to the start of this season, I felt TreVeyon Henderson was going to be a good running back and like many others, thought it strange that the coaching staff didn’t want to give him carries at the start of the year; with Antonio Gibson going down and Rhamondre Stevenson still acting like he has butterfingers, Henderson has absolutely made the most of his opportunity to be the new leading rusher. This makes him the only Ohio State grad I have ever liked in my entire life.

Ultimately, though, the biggest reason for this rapid turnaround has been the fact that the team has had competent coaching for the first time in a long time. Mike Vrabel has been a breath of fresh air and has done a great job of fostering a culture of commitment and accountability – two of the lynchpins of his time as a player here in New England – and more importantly, Josh McDaniels knows exactly what is best for Drake Maye and the offence. Every QB he’s ever worked with in New England has looked good. Hell, he got Mac Jones to a damn Pro Bowl. That ability to have effective playcalling, especially in the red zone, has been an absolute godsend for the team.

What is there to critique about the team? Honestly, not much. The team’s two losses this season have come largely as a result of turnovers – something that has been mostly a non-factor from Week 4 onwards. If there’s anything really left to prove, it’s whether or not they can hang with the so-called “favorites” in these post-bye games, especially with a depleted O-line missing two key starters in Will Campbell and Jared Wilson. The team has Buffalo at home next week; the Bills look like a shadow of their former selves, and are just 3-2 on the road this year. If New England sticks to the game plan they did back in Week 5 and exploit the ridiculously soft Buffalo secondary, I like their chances – and being at home this time around definitely doesn’t hurt matters either. But the real test is Baltimore. The Ravens have turned things around after an awful start, and Lamar remains Lamar, though their recent win streak has also been aided in part due to a soft schedule courtesy of some key injuries. I know that Mike Vrabel does not want to get into a run and gun battle with Baltimore, but if the Ravens’ offence brings its A game against the Patriots, it might be the only way this one gets done – especially on the road.

But we have to look big picture. The Pats have gone from 4-13 to a playoff spot – and a potential division title – in a calendar year. That is absolutely awesome, and should be celebrated accordingly. This is a season that can absolutely be built on no matter what happens, moving forward. I hope it also signals to players elsewhere that this franchise can again be a premium destination to play for – and to win.

However, my sweet little child, I must also step in here and begin to educate about the proper ways of conducting yourself as a fan of the Patriots. It is important to remember that you can never, ever be reasonable about this team. It’s not enough to just want playoffs, or a division title. It’s SUPER BOWL or BUST, EVERY YEAR. NO EXCEPTIONS. And if the team just happens to fall short of that, well, then you should SCREAM and CRY. You’re already an expert in that department, so I think you’ll take very naturally to these expressions of emotion. Ultimately, this team may well be too inexperienced to get to a championship, but when you see the mediocrity of such perennial AFC candidates like Buffalo and Kansas City, it does allow for a little bit of imagination to start seeping in… And at any rate, I foresee this fanbase returning to its naturally smug and annoying ways for a long time to come, just as Catholic God intended for all of us.

Anyways, I am going to go enjoy a little of bit of time away from you for a few hours, so I’ve brought in a babysitter to help look after you. He comes highly regarded, and I am certain you’ll be in great hands. You might even learn a few things while your mother and I are away! Looks like he’s at the door now.

ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP KID. I GAWTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAH PLAY ACTION PASS AN’ HOW IT’S ABSOLUTELY RUININ’ THAH GAME! WAY TOO – Y’KNOW – MELANATED – A PLAY CALL FAH REAL FANS LIKE US. THANK GAWD WE AIN’T GAWT THAT NEWTON FELLA AROUND ANYMOAHH! AT ANY RATE, KID, I WAS PRAWBLY THREE WEEKS OLD WHEN I HAD MY FIRST MAHLBORO LIGHT, SO IT’S TIME WE GET DOWN TAH BUSINESS, HUH? WE AHH PAHT OF THAT GREATEST FACKIN’ FANBASE IN ALL OF SPAHRTS! NO ONE DENIES THIS! YOU AHH GONNA BE A FACKIN’ CHAMPION, OR-AH DIE TRYIN’!

[The baby begins to cry. It’s unclear if they’re happy or sad tears.]

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Banner image taken from here.