Jeff Fisher Did His Job

The Rams have fired Jeff Fisher, per Chris Mortensen.  Since Mort is generally solid, I’m going with it.  After my theory on Jeff Fisher started to trend, a year later, (thanks PFTCommenter!), it really started to seem true after the Rams handed him a contract extension.

Welp, those days are over.  I don’t have Jeff Fisher’s stupid mustache and inability to understand the basics of the NFL game to kick around anymore.  I’m sad that it didn’t happen here in St. Louis (unlike what Fox Sports reporter Dieter Kurtenbach thinks we knew he was a terrible coach here too.  Not that he bothered to read any of the local reporters taking him to task.  Fuck you, Dieter.) I’m glad it happened.

Jeff Fisher is one of those falling upwards folks without the ability to fail gracefully.  Nobody has ever been paid more to perform so awfully that wasn’t classified as a CEO.  Hopefully, they keep Les Snead, so that I can keep laughing at the awfulness, but they realized that Fisher was killing them on the field, and that people won’t show up for a bad team.  (The fans bailed in St. Louis, sure, but we knew they were leaving, so what was the point.)

Now, I don’t want Rams fans in LA to think I don’t like them.  That’s absolutely not true.  In fact, the booing and leaving games early, while expected from you guys, has entertained me to no end.  You guys got what you wanted, and I’m happy for you.

I am happier, though, for every Rams loss.  Any time I think I’m getting over it, I drive past the Dome that we’ll be paying for the next 20 years or I remember the $16 million dollars the Rams and the NFL let us spend on trying to keep the team here, even though it was a done decision.  Todd Gurley’s observation that it was a Middle School Offense was accurate, as most middle schools also run the same 5 plays and can’t throw the ball more than 5 yards down the field.

Back to Fisher.  This is a man stuck in the 90’s, not understanding how the NFL had moved on.  I mean, he owned Oakley wraparounds and had a goatee.  He was the Blockbuster video of coaches.  And that is how we’ll remember him, until he becomes the new head coach of the Browns or 49ers or whoever is dumb enough to fall for his “Leader-of-Men” schtick next time.  He leaves the Rams tied for the most losses of all time with Dan Reeves, who at least seems like a nice guy.  Jeff Fisher seems like an angry NASCAR stepdad.  Who is also a terrible head coach.

Jeff Fisher isn’t the guy I really hate, though.  Stan Kroenke is the asshole here.  And now he has to pay Jeff Fisher for 2 years to not coach, which, I suppose, is better than paying him to coach.  So everybody that isn’t Stan wins.  Anything that hurts Stan Kroenke FUELS ME.  It’s a hate that will never abide.  Whether his hairpiece is controlling him or if he’s just an awful human (hint: it’s the latter) Stan Kroenke can eat the biggest bag of rancid hippo shit ever bagged.

Oh, and they gave away their next 2 first round picks for Goff.  So, enjoy that.

UPDATE

They named John Fassell, son of Jim, to be the interim head coach.

Hold on.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh shit.

UPDATE 2