Your “Calm Before The (Playoff Hockey) Storm” Open Thread

It’s time to feel the jolt of driving a motorcycle off a helicopter while high on cocaine again. I can’t recall who originally said it but I think Horatio shared it with us. I do love me the opening weekend of March Madness but for a months’ long risk of high blood pressure/heart attack/UTI’s/scrotal acne/early onset left-handedness, nothing beats the hockey. In that vein, let’s do an all-hockey tidbit report. The first ever?

Naked Exposure Results in Contract Extension:

You read that right. Columbus coach Rick Bowness had one of the more emotionally transparent post-game pressers that I’ve seen in some time. He called out the team and addressed his own job status at the same time.

The Blue Jackets GM has extended him, so things should be interesting now that Bowness has essentially been given free reign.

Back to the US, back to the US:

Skip the “USSR” part. Austin Mathews is waffling about playing for the Leafs next season when the conventional logic is that the team is going to get all blowed up in the offseason. What’s the going rate for a 1930’s villain mustache and the ability to choke on command?

I Want Some of That Jagr Blood:

Ovechkin was asked about playing another season and in a truly non-Rodgers-ian response he shrugged his shoulders and said, “you can pretty much count me in”. The non-story is the story. These days…they’re killing me.

Something Stinks in Florida:

As per usual but this time it’s related to hockey. Alek Barkov-he who has missed the entire season with a knee owie-is going to play for Finland in the World Championships. I’m giving the side-eye to the player, the team and the whole of Finland because this ain’t right somehow. Oh, I don’t know how but it would be rude not to question this decision.

Be yourselves in the comments.