Showdown Saturday Thread

First off, good luck to Litre, BeerGuy, and all other Protestants in Good Standing who need just a single point away to filthy Celtic this morning (7:30, CBSSN/Paramount+).

Inglen proper only offers up the cabbage fart FA Cup final (10:00, ESPN+) between Chelski and City of Men.  Meh.

All actual non-Scottish footy with actual stakes happens tomorrow.  Realistically, all that really matters is the Spurs/WHam! (UK) race to the bottom.  Hammers realistically need to simply keep pace this round, and pray for Everton to vanquish Spurs on the final day.  That’s…not awful goddamned much to hang one’s hopes on, but it’s all they got.

Because I am out of things to say, I challenge the readership to declare the winner between the following two candidates for Best Smiths Cover:

Contestant 1:

Contestant 2:

Feel free to suggest others, or grouse about whatever you will.

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SonOfSpam

I like #1 Taj Mahal on top of an exacta with #5 Talkin, #7 The Hell We Did, and #9 Iron Honor underneath. I am betting zero dollars on this.

Good luck gamblors!

scotchnaut

You want some random 50 goal scorer? [slight nod to Horatio] Here’s Blaine Stoughton, the fella that potted 56 in ’79.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqWfUbckdas

Horatio Cornblower

4 or 5 really great seasons, then was out of the league within 2-3 more. Never was sure what happened with him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just a perfect encapsulation of the imminent SpaceX IPO:

1000002015
scotchnaut

Pep only 8 trophies behind Alex Ferguson now.

Horatio Cornblower

People care about the Europa?

Horatio Cornblower

So nice to see Man City finally catch a break.

scotchnaut

I just knew that band of plucky underdogs would somehow pull it off.

scotchnaut

Canada beating the pancetta out of Italy 6-0 at the World Championships.

Pleasea Mr. Canadaman, I havea no more to give you. I need some for my family. My little bambino, he hungry again.

2Pack

FYI… Elizabetta Canalis is looking mighty fine in the TV ads for San Benadetto sweet tea…

Just thought you should know.

Pubblicita-The-San-Benedetto-recensione-640x360
Last edited 13 hours ago by 2Pack
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[narrows eyebrows jealously]

– Bryon Noem

Horatio Cornblower

Suddenly I have a hankering for tits iced tea.

scotchnaut

How long have Chelsea been a collection of dirty cunts?

litre_cola

THEY DON’T EVEN PLAY IN CHELSEA!

Horatio Cornblower

So someone keeps saying. Not sure who.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re the fucking worst.

herodotus450

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, USA, a known icy tundra winter wasteland which has never had any kind of sprots success as far as I can tell, is approximately ta the same Latitude as Berlin… WEIRD!!

scotchnaut

There’s your cheeky goal!

Horatio Cornblower

That was insane.

litre_cola

Oh good it’s snowing. Welcome to May long weekend in Alberta.

Horatio Cornblower

Related, I need to put shorts on to mow the lawn later.

scotchnaut

I was just joking with someone yesterday that Calgary usually gets a snowstorm in May and September, so that one is on me.

litre_cola

Was 20 C all week. Long weekend? Snow.

2Pack

Thank you Hippo, I like the Panic cover a tad bit more.

Just finished (finally, retirement prep and out processing the DOW have absorbed much of my time lately) this very interesting book that Brick recommended. I highly second his recommendation.

Thank you Brick.

IMG_20260516_171459
litre_cola

Cold War Kids suck.

2Pack

What did not kill us, made us stronger.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes, yes, we all know what you can get desperate Ukrainian refugees to do if you throw a few Benjamins at them.” – Steve Tisch

Horatio Cornblower

The Cold War ended as I graduated college in 1991. Coincidence?

I mean, yes, probably.

2Pack

From deep under the sea.

I at least got to look at the Warsaw Pact through binoculars over the border. Then headed back to base camp to watch porn VHS tapes.

You should thank me for that service. Someone had to do it.

Horatio Cornblower

Palmer grabbing the wrong leg while pretending to be injured is not helping his “I’m not Sam Darnold” argument.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You have got to check out “My Oxford Year”. It’s basically Emily in Paris goes to Oxford. It’s divine!

Horatio Cornblower

“I know it was a bad first half but half the crowd hasn’t come back!”

I howled.

Last edited 13 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

“Surely the second half can only be better” is one hell of a way to describe the “action” so far, but that’s why the Premier announcers are so much better than anything we have.

litre_cola

The game in Glasgow put this to shame.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m hearing the Hearts fans stormed the field? Is that true?

I haven’t bothered to look for video myself. I’m very lazy.

litre_cola

Celtic fans did and assaulted a couple Hearts players.

Horatio Cornblower

Charming.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always thought that The Smiths’ songs were perfect as they are and any attempt to cover them was basically an insult, but if you put a gun to my head and made me pick one I’d accept Richard Butler’s offering:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsiUwObwRLw

litre_cola

Dude looks like he drives his ’03 Vauxhall Corsa to boot sales and sells counterfeit toiletries.

scotchnaut

City’s possession stat is at 68% but it feels like 90.

edit: though Chelsea seems to be coming on the last few minutes

Last edited 14 hours ago by scotchnaut
Horatio Cornblower

Man did the Scottish Premier fuck over Hearts. That’s the kind of VAR corruption Edward Longshanks would have been proud of.

litre_cola

Last week and this week. Sigh.

Horatio Cornblower

Last week might have been worse. A VAR penalty for Celtic in extra time?

My Babysitter Is Stuck In The Dryer 14 was a more subtle assfucking than that.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

That Eyetalian Spanish fella they have might be my least favorite player in the Premier.

Last edited 13 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
scotchnaut

Man City playing some hockey-inspired footy and getting away with it so far.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just hoping both teams have fun, sustain a lot of injuries that last 2-4 weeks, and maybe a suspension for a certain Viking.

scotchnaut

[waves Applebees coupons at ref] “There’s more where this comes from.”

-Horatio

Horatio Cornblower

I won about $200 playing poker last night and every one of those dollars is available to the Chelsea player that takes out Haaland.

/Premier League player sneezes, uses $100 bills to wipe nose

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Last edited 13 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
litre_cola

This sucks

scotchnaut

/watching the FA intro and they’re doing a bio of Bernardo Silva

As a Canadian, cheering for someone called “Bernardo” gives me pause.

And subbing in for Bernardo now is recent Austrian acquisition Homulka-together they make a great team

Me: “Really?”

litre_cola

Fuck. Brutal.

blaxabbath

Of the $4billion settlement for the Maui wildfire survivors, a billion goes to the lawyers.

For just getting what was never enough in the first place.

Fun note – my big industry improvement is ‘out’ now and, I’d say, positively received. One of my points is how, “that’s how we’ve always done it!” is no longer an option and, “fuck that homo part of the code, no one ‘needs’ it.” is something the lawyers will now contend.

And I can tell young and small-business Sebastian dropping the L-word first seems a little desperate BUT the way to sell it is to simply explain the logistics. Too many lawyers. They need work. They will create work. That is the nature of their industry. Houses are too expensive. Your typical cable news viewer is seeped in a victim mentality. And construction defect suits are the new slip and fall so long as you’re willing to total-out your home, not actually get anything they promise, and watch Saul Goodman take everything in the settlement.

And the homebuilder already has the lawsuits baked into their budget.

Anyways– the number of lawyers is directly correlated to the high temperatures warming the globe and the only way to fix Mother Gaia is to act

Horatio Cornblower

You’d think I’d be offended by this, but he’s not wrong.

litre_cola

Told Deci I was going upstairs to get more coffee.

/hammered thc penjamin and packed a nic pouch

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola covered up for me in Arizona.
“Dad, is that gum? You don’t chew gum.”
“Your Dad just has a mint in”

Love her.

blaxabbath

Fucking UPS causing pouch rations!

litre_cola

USPS is the way!

litre_cola

Stone cold penno. No argument here.

litre_cola

Get innnnn Shanks!!!!!

Suck my balls you Fenian bastards!!!

Last edited 16 hours ago by litre_cola
litre_cola

I see we are playing prison rules. Fine by me.

litre_cola

We ain’t as big of haters as Rangers. We hate them for being a rich club and their Catholicism isn’t as big as a fuck you as it is in the derby.

litre_cola

They sing Never walk Alone so that should seal.your hate for the hoops.

Gumbygirl

Nobody looks good in horizontal stripes.

litre_cola

Oh I be up. 5 am no alarm prob due to no drinky drink last night!

litre_cola

I fear the worst but hope for the best.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is not what I meant when I said I have a big sports day today

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck Fredbird but yes. Two.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh there’s a shocker.

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