Keeping It Tolerable: Mundial ’26 Argentina Preview

The 2022 World Cup was billed as Messi’s last. In the final, Argentina defeated France in a cracking 3 – 3 (4-2 pennos), and Messi was awarded the World Cup, the player of the tournament trophy, and a black robe. Spoiler alert: there were no matching slippers and a gold watch, because half of all Mundial ’26 advertising is about ARG and Messi. It’s mostly annoying, as overexposure usually is, but several factors keep it tolerable.

Argies are infamous in LATAM for thinking they’re better than anyone else. So the first factor of me being kinda fine about Argentina right now is: there are few Argentinians in my daily orbit. Nobody in the galaxy is prouder about irrationality than Argie fútbol fans. Their national league is the rinkiest of dinks and their fútbol federation cannot even do corruption right—i.e., NAWT overtly. In spite of staggering administrative fuckheadedness, ARG is one of the favorites to win it all. Yes, I sympathized with Argentina / Messi during s brutal stretch of early eliminations and three lost finals between 2010 and 2018, before their recent success. Which is: La Albiceleste won the 2020 Copa América, the 2022 Mundial, and the 2024 Copa América.

Second, there are very few tentpole events as massive, and joyful, as Argentina losing a World Cup game. It brings together a diverse array of comeuppance stans, loudmouths, haters, trolls, and xenophobes. For their first 2022 World Cup game in Cutter (phon.), ARG faced Saudi Arabia. Argentina led 1 – 0 at the half, then Saudi Arabia put together 10 minutes of berserker ball at the start of the second half and went ahead 1 – 2, the final score. This was the most shocking upset I’ve seen, after a coupla doozies: Buster Douglas KO of then-Iron Mike Tyson in Japan, and the PR National Team thrashing USA NBA All Stars in Athens in 2004. In retrospect, ARG 1 : 2 KSA was the kick in the ass that ARG needed, because the team has been a buzzsaw since then. I counted only two defeats since then: 2 – 0 to Uruguay in 2023 and 2 – 1 to Colombia in 2024 during Qualifiers.  And it’s been SEVEN years since Brazil last beat Argentina. So yeah, an Argie crash out would be spectacular, but I would not expect it.

Factor the third: Argentina is a Hispanic country, playing in the U.S.A. The shadow of ICE abuses darkens the Mundial and that only feeds my deluded hopes for Panamá, Ecuador, Paraguay—and México Lindo, of course. I have no beef with my U.S. co-citizens and I am really really wishing for a tournament where the only controversies are judgment calls on the pitch. Although, fat chance: Irán having to seek asylum in México for the World Cup is unconscionable. I only blame 47 and fed toadies, not the field of U.S. citizens. Anyway, rails: Argentina, hispanohablante, rootable.

Counterpoint:

🔴| URGENTE:
LA FIFA PRESENTÓ LAS MASCOTAS DE LOS PAÍSES SEDE DEL MUNDIAL 😂 pic.twitter.com/1ydg0xZdlB

— Jack__Pierre 💛 (@Jackes_is_back) May 20, 2026

The muppet, of course, is president Javier Milei, whoM I profiled in my last ARG preview. I’ve already said too much about that crapulent loon.

2026 ARGENTINA SQUAD

Per espen deportes:

Goalies

• Emiliano Martínez – Aston Villa
• Gerónimo Rulli – Olympique de Marsella
• Juan Musso – Atlético de Madrid

Defenders

• Gonzalo Montiel – River
• Nahuel Molina – Atlético de Madrid
• Lisandro Martínez – Manchester United
• Nicolás Otamendi – Benfica
• Leonardo Balerdi – Olympique de Marsella
• Cristian Romero – Tottenham
• Facundo Medina- Olympique de Marsella
• Nicolás Tagliafico – Olympique de Lyon

Midfielders

• Leandro Paredes – Boca
• Rodrigo de Paul – Inter Miami
• Exequiel Palacios – Bayer Leverkusen
• Enzo Fernández – Chelsea
• Alexis Mac Allister – Liverpool
• Giovani Lo Celso – Betis
• Valentín Barco – Racing de Estrasburgo

Forwards

• Lionel Messi – Inter Miami
• Nicolás Paz – Como
• Thiago Almada – Atlético de Madrid
• Nicolás González – Atlético de Madrid
• Giuliano Simeone – Atlético de Madrid
• Lautaro Martínez – Inter
• José Manuel López – Palmeiras
• Julián Álvarez- Atlético de Madrid

Two players from the Argentinian league (Montiel and Paredes), and two players from MLS—Inter Miami, to be exact.

The coach is Lionel Scaloni, who took over in 2018 and has been behind the recent successes. He has proven to be overqualified for the position, as he is not a clown. Sadly.

GROUP J,

previewed by BoSaF here. It’s Austria, Algeria, Argentina, and débutante Jordan. For ARG, bof

FINALLY,

Given the above, I have devised a rooting matrix for ’26 ARG. Will I root for Argentina if it plays…

Uruguay? Fuck no.

Another Spanish-speaking country? No.
‘26 MUNDIAL UPDATE: España included.

Canada? Hell no! I got the scarf, the Canadá scarf baybeh! Will keep the faith [ethnic chest bump].

An African country? Nuh huh.

An Asian country? Mmm… No.

An European country? Depends. Austria, no.

U.S.A.? Imma withhold judgment on the U.S.A., on account of Christian Pulisic and prick #2: the fan who dresses like Teddy Roosevelt and is always shown on TV. It’s an image issue because the costume is of rough rider era TR, a clear reference to the Hispanic American War [withholds spitting for later].

If the fan would dress as trust buster TR, everything would be forgiven. Now please excuse me, gotta spit.