My apologies for missing last week’s Beat! I don’t know what happened. To make up for it, I bring you two weeks’ worth of highlights and news!

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The AFL Ladder

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Round 22 Results

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Round 23 Results

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Round 22 and 23 Highlights and Australian music Placeholder Videos

Round 23

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Round 24 Schedule

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AFL Footy Tipping Contest Results

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AFL Notes and Comments

The Fremantle Dockers officially became the minor premiers (regular season champs) after tough victories over the Melbourne Demons and the Adelaide Crows. I watched the end of both games and they really are the favourites to win the whole thing. The way they take over games is beautiful to see.

The finals field is set going into the last regular season week. The only thing left is to figure out the final places and matchups for Wild Card Weekend. Your eliminated teams are, in current ladder order, St. Kilda, GWS, North Melbourne, Gold Coast, Port Adelaide, West Coast, Richmond, and Essendon . Litre, as always, was right about the Saints.

Meanwhile, the Wild Card teams are essentially locked in. Only a Geelong loss to 17th placed Richmond in the last game would allow anyone to crack the Top 6. Your Wild Card teams are Adelaide, Collingwood, Western, and Carlton. Even though some may say the finals field is watered down, those actually will be great matchups. They are all evenly matched.

The Top Six will all get byes into the traditional Elimination Finals and Qualifying Finals. Keep in mind that the Top Four still get the Double Chance, so if they lose, they’re still alive.

For the first time ever, Hawthorn and Collingwood tied TWICE in the same season. The first time the scores were 93 while this time they were 92. That’s actually pretty crazy. Speaking of, SEVEN (7!) of our tippers had perfect weeks! Spam was one of them, so nothing changes at the top, but great job everyone! Don’t forget to put the tips in!

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AFLW Ladder

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AFLW Round 1 Results

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AFLW Round 1 Highlights

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AFLW Round 2 Schedule

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AFLW Round News and Notes

AFLW held one game a week ago and the rest this past weekend, so, in a sense, I did good by combining everything into one update! I’m going to keep telling myself that.

North Melbourne showed why they are the defending champions slash dynasty. They destroyed Geelong in a merciless showing. It is now 28 straight games without a loss.

Sydney v Adelaide was your match of the week as it came down to the final minutes. Brisbane looks pretty strong again this year and may be the team that has the best chance of knocking off the Roos. We will find out if that’s true next week.

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If you are a member of an AFL club or you got a Watch AFL membership, you should be able to watch every AFL and AFLW game, including replays. Game times vary between Australian afternoon and evening, which actually makes it easier for us in North America to watch as the games can be seeing in the evenings on Pacific Time and early mornings on Eastern time.

If you haven’t become a member of a club or signed up for the Watch AFL app, you can still watch the AFL and AFLW games in the USA on either FS1 or FS2 and in Canada on TSN. Showtimes can be found here on the Australian Football Association of North America website. But I do recommend that you join a club. It’s fun and they send you free shit.

See you next week!

 

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26 Comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM MATT GAETZ BECAUSE A HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER HAS REQUESTED THAT HE GIVE HER SOME MONEY.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You creepily going to bikini car washes again?

NotShogunButShogun

Find me a non-creepy way. You cannot.

yeah right

I think this is the first time since I’ve been a fan that Freo has the “Double Chance.” Usually they just sneak in as the last wildcard.

This could really be something.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you see the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret), be sure to congratulate her on a new personal best: six loads of laundry in six days!

Horatio Cornblower

There’s three people in your house; is she washing clothes one at a time?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I assume she has outfits for some of her vacuums

2Pack

I believe this

1786989975185
Doktor Zymm

It’s even more impressive since many women go through childbirth, which still has a nontrivial mortality rate

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who needs a stupid laugh this morning?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dbi3–k4SM

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@Balls @BFC what would you say would be the NFL equivalent of the Swans suspensions? Mahomes and Kelce getting suspended for the rest of the season during Week 18?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

During week 17 plus suspending then from the whole playoffs and saying they’re ineligible for MVP or Pro Bowl honors.

Last edited 18 hours ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Brick Meathook

Making them actually eat the food at their steakhouse.

Horatio Cornblower

Also, one of the bad things about following up on the Tuesday 1/4ly office meeting by going out for a few beers and shit-talking the office is that the next three days feel like working on a Saturday.

This is intolerable bullshit.

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone watching ‘Rooster’ on HBO? Steve Carrell show, has made me laugh out loud numerous times.

“Get some whipped cream too, so I can lick it off your balls!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have seen a few episodes, very funny

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh great, the Essendon women are bad too?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hard to talk AFL this week without talking about the Swans scandal. The whole thing is awful, and it’s almost a relief that the club has come down so hard on the five players involved. You have to wonder how much worse the details are that we don’t know yet for them to take this serious of action.

And maybe now everyone won’t think I’m just being a grumpy GWS fan when I say Isaac Heeney is a dogshit human.

Doktor Zymm

For another depressing speculation, what do you think it would take for a team to do something similar in the NFL?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There would probably have to be a corpse involved.

Horatio Cornblower

“Can do!”

OJ Simpson, from Hell

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Multiple and the team still wouldn’t do it, Roger would have to

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Roger would hold a meeting in his office featuring all the involved parties, and then declare that the league’s hands were tied because the victim refused to break their silence.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Wish Hockey Canada and the NHL would have done something similar with the bunch that did shit in London as Juniors

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