While You Were Drinking

While the majority of folks here have been nursing weekend long hangovers due to #07/31 the world kept going and the NFL kept moving. So here is a little primer to catch up everyone who is crawling out of a bottle on what has happened.

Ravens: While you were drinking the Ravens proved you can have addition by subtraction. They may lose Strong Saftey Matt Elam for the season with a torn bicep. The team is waiting on the MRI results, but it doesn’t look good. Now the team is in a scramble to find out who can miss 50% of their tackles in the backfield for them this year. Chris Conte’s ears have started to burn. However, that is just because he has yet to realize he was signed by the Tampa Bay Buccs in March.

Giants: While you were drinking the Giants finally reached out to Jason Pierre-Paul, who has yet to sign his franchise deal. No word yet if the Giants are expecting a three-fingered discount.

Cowboys: While you were drinking the weekends biggest non-story everyone cannot stop talking about is the slap fight wide receiver Dez Bryant and cornerback Tyler Patmon on Sunday. Words were exchanged and punches were missed as two athletes went at it after a play.

Steelers/Eagles: While you were drinking the Eagles sent Boyken to the Steelers for a conditional 5th Rounder. Boykin praised the Philadelphia area and then told reporters he thinks Chip Kelly is “uncomfortable around grown men of our culture”. You’re preaching to the choir thought Nick Foles.

Now the news is out-of-the-way have I told you guys about how I drink my coffee yet? I haven’t well then you are all in luck…