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Your “Wait – What’s That On The Horizon?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

The wait is almost over!

Five teams – the Ravens, Bears, Cowboys, Jaguars, and Saints – all open training camps tomorrow. It’s just first-year players, but it still means the season is approaching. The Cowboys & Cardinals have veterans report by the weekend, because Hall of Fame Game.

Oh, and the stadium might be finished as close as the night before. It’s not “installing seats during the Opening Ceremony” Montreal Olympics close, but it’s up there.

But it’s coming. The season is almost upon us.

NFL Notes:

  • Franchise tag failures update:
    • Washington wanted six-years from Kirk Cousins (good), but wanted the last four of them not guaranteed (bad). And that’s how teams force players to stay on the Tag.
    • ESPN has their guessing-ball out for Le’Veon Bell landing spots in 2018 if he hits the market.
      • Browns, Raiders, Seahawks, Giants & Bucs, if you are inclined to not read the article.
  • It just keeps getting better in Dallas for Zeke:
    • he’s appealing a misdemeanor speeding charge he originally pleaded no contest to, because the incident last weekend in a bar might add additional charges to his record, and he wants a clean sheet if those end up at trial.
      • he’s still awaiting League justice on his domestic violence allegations.
  • Someone asked Michael Vick what Colin Kaepernick should do in order to find a new job.
    • “Get a Haircut”, said the guy who thought getting a new dog was a bright idea.
    • Vick has since “clarified” his tweet, but Kaep wins with his initial response.

 

Finally, nfl.com has an “article” on pain rankings for fan bases. Aside from the usual suspects, they list the Chargers at #1, which is ironic for the League’s shill of a website, since the reason Chargers fans hurt is directly because of League actions in coddling petulant man-boy Dean Spanos.

Tonight’s sports: a light national menu

  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Yankees at Twins – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Indians at Giants – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

One day until actual football fills our news feeds. Can you feel the

YES, YOU CAN!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Old Mrs. Succabudgie was, without a doubt, the most boring teacher who’d ever lived.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Dirt Argos and Dirt Pats are still playing? Dirt Argos ahould just concede defeat. And trade everyone away

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Beerguyrob

The scuttlebutt at Nat Bailey is that the kids there today will either be on the big club or somewhere else within 4 years. They are quite excited, because they are looking to impress more than one employer.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Application; Do you have any anxiety in association with heights?

No.

First day on job; “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!”

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Brick Meathook

At least the Golden Gate Bridge crew walked on wood planks while stringing the cables. On the nearby Bay Bridge built around the same time, they walked on steel hurricane fencing. This photo shows it being installed and pulled taut; it was lightweight and very strong, but you could see right through it to the water hundreds of feet below. There was no cover layer: they walked on the fencing.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH………AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My dad did some steel work for a few years and worked with two Mohawks that were fearless and great workers. Of course he is the one who got knocked off the building by a crane and spent a long time in the hospital for his troubles. OSHA was not big in the 1950s.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

11 guys bit it. It saved at least 19 depending on what source.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another source says 23 people took at least six months to unclench their buttholes.

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Brick Meathook

This is a 1937 documentary about the Bay Bridge. At 8:40 it shows them pulling the fencing. It’s insane.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOyh9yUMm6U

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Side effects may include: skin melting, praying to Kthulu, fanged teeth or nails, and nausea. Please consult your doctor if any of these symptoms occur.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BUUUUUT, he doesn’t have the urge to pee every hour now.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Welp, back to the grindstone I guess.
Nite peeps.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD1cxSE25ck

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JerBear50

later

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yeah sure, the “grindstone.”

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am trying to guess what my deaf dad is watching now. It is chipper music from some movie he doesn’t need to watch that seems to be on a loop. Now low volume and nothing at all. Ok fine I quit.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Why you always in such a foul mood?”

“Experience”

You are getting quotes from my rewatch. I don’t care if you don’t care.

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herodotus450

He sees a “mountain” in the flames?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I don’t get why you are mad he is gonna kill his brother

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herodotus450

What is dead may never die

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is the god damn Floridians of Westeros. Who gives a shit about them? Give them a Hawaiian shirt and they will just go away.

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JerBear50

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno what this says about you GoT nerds, but I sure didn’t forsake porn for some fly by night HBO gobbldeygook….
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/pornhub-traffic-plummets-game-thrones-season-premiere-article-1.3335493

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herodotus450

Everybody knows that when you watch GoT you have xhamster.com porn on in the background, not pornhub smh

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herodotus450

Hot hockey free agent signings! Pontus “Pilate” Aberg for 650k per year? Seems like a fucking steal.

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Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have mentioned before my dad is having temporary deafness with whatever is going wrong with him they can’t fix. Right now he has his TV volume maxed out with old white people yelling at each other. I can’t figure out if it is Sports or News. Doesn’t matter but I’m watching Game of Thrones again and not worrying about volume.

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JerBear50

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JerBear50

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Wow this magazine has something for everybody
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Obviously, you found this in the back of balls’ closet.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Back?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Hey!

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WCS

Hello, bourbon, my old friend…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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SonOfSpam

I’ve come to wfadfhaa you agfefe

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Shogun Marcus

Issa soun…uhsummin.

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SonOfSpam

Holy shit, I’m definitely repeating that at some point.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I Lol’d

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Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The new DFO Clubhouse….I presume.

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litre_cola

If there are Canadians and unsurpirsed hanging by their arms in there then indeed it is as BeastMode will tell you.

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King Hippo

there be fantasy footbaw e-mails in yer inbox!

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litre_cola

On it

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litre_cola

Will respond on the q’s in the morning. Busy fistfighting mosquitos.

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King Hippo

bon chance!

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SonOfSpam

Top of the 1st: Harper hits one out to center
Bottom of the 1st: Trout hits one out to center

I should probably be at the Big A instead of typing this from my house. But holy crap, it’s great watching the absolute best do what they do.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s why we get excited when Buddy is in top form around here.

That and he could suck the chrome off a hitch.

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SonOfSpam

You ain’t lyin. About either thing.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If a dog needs anti anxiety meds, it’s your fault as an owner.

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Shogun Marcus

Anxiety, yes. Tranqs because you apparently live in Nam during the Tet Offensive every goddamn night…not so much.

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litre_cola

So when do we get to haze the new guys when the season comes? It is training camp and all AND I HAVE BEEN PUTTING IN 2 A DAYS! Thr dispensary will attest.

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Bogdanski

I’m a new guy. Please haze me.

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scotchnaut

Work is simply not manageable right now. It’s too busy like has been every July/August for the past eleventwenty years.

/fuck me
//thanks for listening though!

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King Hippo

“Can’t you buy a little extra help?”

– Jerry R., Spartanburg, SC

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litre_cola

I giggled loud enough for the fam to ask what I was laughing at.

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SonOfSpam

Well, shit, that’s the high season for an ice cream man.

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JerBear50

Skibbidy bibbidy bop
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Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

Me to online vendor: where’s my order that I should have had 2 weeks ago and even paid 50 bucks to have it rushed?

Online Vendor: We don’t know, but how about a discount on your next purchase with us?

Yes, because I’m totally going to buy from a shitty online vendor that can’t deliver my goods when I pay extra. So now I have to watch my bank funds to make sure they reversed my now cancelled order. What a piss off.

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JustStopDude

Fucking Canton Ohio.

God what a shithole. We got a supplier in that town that continues to do halfassed work. I cannot wait for the day we finally cut them loose and I never had to go there.

I love the wikipedia entry for “Canton, Ohio” because its clearly been written by the tourism board.

“Canton is currently experiencing an urban renaissance, anchored by its growing and thriving arts district centrally located in the downtown area. Several historic buildings have been rehabilitated and converted into upscale lofts, attracting thousands of new downtown residents into the city.[10] Furthering this downtown development, in June 2016, Canton became one of the first cities in Ohio to allow the open consumption of alcoholic beverages in a “designated outdoor refreshment area” pursuant to a state law enacted in 2015 (Sub. H.B. No. 47).[11][12]”

Keep in mind that Canton has lost about 40% of its population, its in Ohio, and its a polluted wasteland…but hey…they are getting the hipsters that can’t afford Detroit and now you can drink in public! EVERYTHING IS COMING UP MILHOUSE!!!

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Wakezilla

I always envisioned Canton being a population of under 200 people, all of whom are unemployed and are perfectly fine dying of starvation in a town that doesn’t have /want work and the NFL sends interims to run the Hall

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thoroughly enjoyed Canton…when I was young and most football obsessed….and didn’t pay attention to blight….and still thought there was hope in the world.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Shogun Marcus

A fine how do you do to you too.

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JustStopDude

I read the original script for that film. Its kind of a shame how the film turned out.

Effectively Jim Carry’s character was supposed to be weird…then annoying…and the fucking scary as shit as the later half of the film establishes that the reason he continues to move onto other people he is fixated with is because he keeps murder raping them like Buffalo Bob.

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SonOfSpam

Now see, THAT’S a movie I could beat off to.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

A hearty FUCK YOU to United for loading us onto a connecting flight for an hour and a half, offloading us with the word of a delay, and then canceling the flight (the last of the night) as soon as we were deplaned.

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Senor Weaselo

So… United.

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, I mean…you kinda gotta know

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Beerguyrob

Air Canada would at least have the courtesy to kill your dog so there’s one less thing to take home.

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JustStopDude

Fucking A…I never thought I would say this…but year…AC is generally worse than a lot of US carriers. Holy shit every time I am in and out of Canada, its a clusterfuck.

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Wakezilla

Fly Westjet. They’re perfectly cromulent

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ballsofsteelandfury

what city are you stuck in?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was “stranded” at Newark, so I’m staying at a buddy’s tonight and then getting up at the asscrack of dawn to connect in the morning. Yay.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

But I thought it was Secaucus!!!!!!!

(see there’s two of us here who know why that’s funny. I’m one of ’em)

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